Posts tagged with “wisdom”
How High Expectations Can Lead to Disappointment, Depression, and Anxiety
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope
I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom, at sunset, looking at the trees outside my window. I felt a profound sadness, frustration, disappointment, and desperation taking me over.
While I was staring into oblivion, all my expectations came flashing to my mind.
“No, this is not what my life was supposed to be. I was supposed to be successful. I was supposed to have my own house. I was supposed to be happy. What happened?”
What happened was that I am part of the …
Why The Old Adage “Enjoy Every Moment” May Be More Harmful Than Helpful
“In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.” ~Francis Bacon
One phrase my husband and I have heard often since becoming new parents—heck, since I was still waddling my way through my last trimester—is, “It goes so fast.” This is most often delivered by another more seasoned mother with an all-knowing shake of her head and a longing gaze at my once rotund belly, or now at our beautiful boy.
We smile and nod, silently agreeing to the harsh reality of time. Which inevitably leads to the dreaded follow up, “Enjoy every moment!” …
Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love
“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown
Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.
I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.
During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.
I had body dysmorphia, thinking I was overweight …
True Connection Happens When We Release Cynicism and Judgment
“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” ~Bill Nye
It’s cool to be a little cynical, right? We’ve all seen the movies; we know an air of ennui and a well-cultivated sneer is all a person needs to get by.
When I was in my early twenties I used to archly describe myself as an “optimistic cynic.” To me, it sounded cool. I was playing in bands, and I’d decided this was how I wanted to show up to the world.
Back then I responded to everything, whether good or bad, exciting or not, through a filter of …
3 Ways to Tell If You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
“The harder you fight to hold onto specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting them go.” ~John Seely Brown
It was Christmas night and I was ecstatic. He would be there any minute.
I touched up my gloss and gave myself a quick once over in the hallway mirror. Despite having had a hearty dinner at my Mum’s, my stomach was flat and my dress fit me like a glove, enveloping my curves perfectly. I was ready and raring to go.
Glancing at the clock, I wondered where he was. I double checked my phone to see if …
What Not to Say to Someone Who’s Going Through a Breakup or Divorce
“Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them…your smile, your hope and your courage.” ~Doe Zantamata
Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is one of hardest, if the not the hardest, trial you might be faced with in life. Unfortunately, unless you’ve experienced it firsthand, it’s very hard to believe this statement.
For most of my fifteen-year relationship, I didn’t believe it. Sure, I commiserated with friends who were suffering through breakups, but I did so with a superiority complex, a judgment about how they got themselves into that situation through relationship neglect.…
Why Self-Help Shouldn’t Be About Trying to “Fix” Yourself
“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” ~Steve Maraboli
The other day I had some time to kill before a meeting, so I decided to go to one of my favorite places, Chapters Bookstore. When I walked in, I immediately headed toward the self-help section to pick up Brene Brown’s Rising Strong (great read, by the way).
As I was searching for her book, I noticed an unusual number of people browsing the same shelves, searching for their self-help book of choice.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. The …
How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression
“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith
I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.
I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.
I …
Why I’m Broke, Single, and Happier Than Ever (and How You Can Be Happier Too)
“You must make your dream a priority in order for it to become your life.” ~Bob Proctor.
I am sitting in the courtyard of the little place I’ve just moved into, an old washhouse separate from a beautiful big Victorian house, by the coast in Cornwall.
The washhouse is no bigger than a shed; it consists of a living space and a wet room.
I sleep on a day bed, which doubles as my sofa. My neat, compact kitchen is approximately two steps from my bed/sofa, and the wet room houses a shower, toilet, and sink.
I’m thirty-two, and I …
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