Dear Ruth:

By sexual servitude I mean that you shared that for ten years you had sex with her while not feeling attraction to her and you drank alcohol so to do it. You had sex with her because she wanted to, not because you wanted to. Isn’t this servitude, as in servicing her?

anita

Dear Ruth:

Yes, make it clear that you will not have sex if you are not feeling it. Which may be never, so be it.

If she has suggestions regarding motivating you in this regard so that you feel like it, she can suggest those things to you and then it will be up to you to try, or not.

anita

Dear Ruth:

I am fine, thank you. Do  I understand correctly, you are going for a couple therapy session with your partner today? If so, bringing up the issue of your compromise is a must, definitely (in individual therapy and in couple therapy!)

Regarding. “I really need clarity in order to fully and effectively communicate in counselling”- I hope the counselor will help you with that, this is part of his/ her job!

When in therapy, if you are confused, go slow, relax best you can, take a slow, deep breath, make your sentences short, don’t worry to cover all possibilities and being exact. Say just one thing and let it be, see the response for it. A little at a time.

anita