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12 year relationship breaking down

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Viewing 5 posts - 61 through 65 (of 65 total)
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  • #297105
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ruth:

    By sexual servitude I mean that you shared that for ten years you had sex with her while not feeling attraction to her and you drank alcohol so to do it. You had sex with her because she wanted to, not because you wanted to. Isn’t this servitude, as in servicing her?

    anita

    #297109
    Prairie light
    Participant

    I guess it is.  So I have to make it clear that I won’t have sex if I am not feeling it…which may be never.  The thing is, I have been starting to think that sex doesn’t HAVE to be part of a loving relationship.  Does that mean I hav now come out as “asexual”??? I’m being sarcastic really.  I don’t like labels.

    #297115
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ruth:

    Yes, make it clear that you will not have sex if you are not feeling it. Which may be never, so be it.

    If she has suggestions regarding motivating you in this regard so that you feel like it, she can suggest those things to you and then it will be up to you to try, or not.

    anita

    #297199
    Prairie light
    Participant

    Hi again Anita,

    I hope all is well with you today.

    We will be going for therapy in a few hours.  I am going to bring up the issue of my compromise in order to have companionship.  This is the way you described what you have heard me say…thank you for helping me to be able to articulate it.  I really need clarity in order to fully and effectively communicate in counselling.

    #297217
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Ruth:

    I am fine, thank you. Do  I understand correctly, you are going for a couple therapy session with your partner today? If so, bringing up the issue of your compromise is a must, definitely (in individual therapy and in couple therapy!)

    Regarding. “I really need clarity in order to fully and effectively communicate in counselling”- I hope the counselor will help you with that, this is part of his/ her job!

    When in therapy, if you are confused, go slow, relax best you can, take a slow, deep breath, make your sentences short, don’t worry to cover all possibilities and being exact. Say just one thing and let it be, see the response for it. A little at a time.

    anita

Viewing 5 posts - 61 through 65 (of 65 total)

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