30yrs guy anybody like out there

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This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Lotus bleu.

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April 26, 2019 at 3:35 am #291349
nelum
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I’m a 30 year old male, introvert and never had a relationship. I come from a somewhat wealthy family who had to work hard to get to the state we’re in now, it saddens and confuses me to see the way people are living their lives in this day and age. More I see the world the less I want to be a part of it.
Things we called childish acts has now manifested people into superficial beings. I don’t go out much except to some movies from time to time, but what I observed is that people put on a show express what they aren’t , a persona that is borderline unreal and unpleasant.
What I see on social media only fortify this trend. People constantly bragging about the things they have and who they’re with, kind of like kids from high schools in american movies.
They act like they are prize and all others are below them, with tools like instagram and facebook people are having inflated egos and portrait a surreal life.

What I learned from my hardworking parents to be humble and honest. I value these principles. But if i engage with these values in public people would think I am weak and worthless.
People who love to boast themselves are appreciated and loved by society.

Most of the time I feel the society is narcissistic, they do not respect introverts and try coin the idea that there is something wrong with me.

The more I move with people less appealing it becomes! Sure I could boast about what I have, like the attention seekers but that is not who I am.

Anyone else feel like me.
- This topic was modified 5 years ago by nelum.
April 26, 2019 at 5:19 am #291355

Inky
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Hi nelum,

I’m a fellow introvert and I know what you mean.

However, there are actually a lot of other introverts out there!

Be that quiet mysterious guy in the corner. Being off social media and being of rumored wealth will only increase the allure.

People just don’t know how to be anymore. They are too busy or too taken in by their screens.

The best you can do is to facilitate deep talks and close friendships with a select few.

Best,

Inky

April 26, 2019 at 7:41 am #291369

Peter
Participant

Hi Nelum

Viewing the world through the lens of social media is bound to distort what you see.

The personas we create are not fake but the means in which we engage with the world. How you relate as a son to your parents is different then how you relate to a stranger, friend, boss… as it should be. The mistake happens when we mistake our identity’s and others identity’s as being a persona. We are more then the sum of our parts.

To get to know oneself and others one needs to engage, develop trust and drop the guards we put up to protect ourselves. I get the feeling that the observations in your post could be your way of justifying a desire to stay safe and disengage. I say that as it’s a tactic I have used in the past. If everyone is being fake why should I engage with them, better to keep to my introverted self. End result…. loneliness.

Advice for what its worth is to avoid these types of judgments and measuring standards. Focus less on what you imagine others are thinking about you or what you imagine they want you to be and instead be yourself. Engage honestly with people that interest you and eventually if you are courageous in refusing to hide behind your wall of fears, you will find your tribe.

April 26, 2019 at 11:36 am #291419

Anonymous
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Dear nelum:

“What I learned from my hardworking parents to be humble and honest… But if I engage with these values in public people would think I am weak and worthless. People who love to boast themselves are appreciated and loved by society”-

– it is not my experience that people who boast are loved. Not at all.

Maybe what you think of as boasting is not boasting, maybe?

And regarding being humble, if it means acting inferior to others, that is not humble, it is acting inferior, less than. And it makes a person angry, to act less than others.

Words, such as boasting, humble, and good, better define these words, to be clear what they mean to you and being clear, rethink. You will not lose what is important to you, if you rethink and reconsider. Instead, you will gain peace of mind, being clear.

If you would like to do it here, to define these terms, please do, I will read and reply if you do.

anita

April 27, 2019 at 9:40 pm #291555

Lotus bleu
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Try to find common ground with others. Sometimes beneath the superficial, there are deep, thoughtful people. It does take awhile to get to know others, especially if we are introverts afraid of social situations, but nurturing common interests with others, and asking people the right questions that nurture intimate, complex friendships that are more than twitter posts and facebook pictures, will have its rewards. Even if you just start with online friendships, this may help you to find people with common interests which you can hopefully turn into real face to face friendships or a relationship.

I have to disagree with you about the people who are humble not being valued. The people who really have made a difference in the world, seem to me to be very humble. I am speaking of spiritual, civil rights, and anonymous financial philanthropists. Yes, the superficial are the loud thunderstorms. but the humble heroes are the rainbows after the storms quietly creating beauty and positive change. Be a rainbow, and find other rainbows. Good Luck and God Bless.
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