Forum Replies Created
April 27, 2019 at 9:40 pm #291555
Try to find common ground with others. Sometimes beneath the superficial, there are deep, thoughtful people. It does take awhile to get to know others, especially if we are introverts afraid of social situations, but nurturing common interests with others, and asking people the right questions that nurture intimate, complex friendships that are more than twitter posts and facebook pictures, will have its rewards. Even if you just start with online friendships, this may help you to find people with common interests which you can hopefully turn into real face to face friendships or a relationship.
I have to disagree with you about the people who are humble not being valued. The people who really have made a difference in the world, seem to me to be very humble. I am speaking of spiritual, civil rights, and anonymous financial philanthropists. Yes, the superficial are the loud thunderstorms. but the humble heroes are the rainbows after the storms quietly creating beauty and positive change. Be a rainbow, and find other rainbows. Good Luck and God Bless.April 27, 2019 at 9:11 pm #291553
In order for others to love you, you have to love yourself. You aren’t boring. No one is. We all have a story to tell, and you are telling yours. You just wrote a very personal and compassion provoking blog highlighting the issues you are dealing with. Find your best assets and interests and build a blossoming, love-filled self. The more you have self-love, the more you will be able to see the good in others.
Don’t be afraid to seek out a good therapist or spiritual group that will affirm your loving self. Meditation and Yoga are great tools to find clarity into our lives, and start the self compassion process while finding grace and peace with our shadow self of negative emotions and judgements. Journaling is also an effective tool in finding insights into our behavior, and helps to nurture love and compassion in our lives. Find time to nurture your love of nature and animals, which will help you to find your inner confidence and joy. And also find a way to work in a profession you like which fills your heart with joy. It isn’t always easy finding the right career, but if it is a profession you have a passion for, it will change the outlook of your whole life. Self-Love and happiness are there, but they are hiding behind a cloud of critical judgements and negative thinking. Allow YOUR beautiful light to shine through. It is there!April 22, 2019 at 6:13 pm #290187
Everything takes time and practice. When I was in my twenties, i had an alienating job talking to others on the phone and working in a cubicle. My social skills suffered. I became very lonely and felt very isolated because i lived in a large city without family. After many years of this type of work, and increasing loneliness, I took a job where I was forced to small-talk and socialize all day. At first this was very difficult and awkward for me, and I was full of anxiety. After awhile, I became more and more comfortable talking to others and not feeling self-conscious.
Keep working at being in social situations. Join a volunteer group or faith community. Join a group where you have common interests with others. Don’t give up on yourself. So much of happiness and social skills are derived by a sense of self-confidence. If you like you, others will like you too. Easier said than done of course, but ask yourself how you can gain the confidence you need. Loneliness is a difficult thing, and it can become worse if you feel shame about it, but remember that it is just a temporary feeling, and with lots of practice, and the right life-affirming environments, you will realize that loneliness can be overcome. I also recommend reading any Pema Chodron books. She makes you realize that none of us are truly alone, we are all connected if we are just able to see it. Best of luck, and sending love.