October 16, 2014 at 5:51 pm #66367AndréParticipant
Hi guys. I need a little favor,
I’ve realized that I’m use to stay in selfish relationships, I seek for a partner, I fall in love of the person, so I start giving and giving, but even if I don’t receive love, even If I don’t feel loved, because I love the person I keep giving, In my mind is like “love is only love if it is unconditional”, but that isn’t true love…. right? Is the same circle always. So Id like a reminder of how is to feel loved, what are the things you do for your love ones, how is a lovin relationship, what’s love?. So I can remind myself that, that is not love, to understand and know what I’m missing, so I can get motivation to break that horrible habit.
Thank you so much!October 16, 2014 at 6:35 pm #66369Banu SekendurParticipant
First off, congratulations on getting real and honest with your “love script”. Pain is a great catalyst for that, isn’t it? My love pattern was similar to yours and I learned great lessons from those relationships.
I have written 2 articles that might help:
Hope these help. You can change your patterns!
BanuOctober 17, 2014 at 8:26 pm #66401AndréParticipant
Thank you so much Banu, the codepency article is life changing. I loved your blog.
Thank you for your help.October 20, 2014 at 4:17 pm #66527ScottieflyingParticipant
I posted a similar question to this…. I believe in giving love unconditionally too… but perhaps giving it in the wrong way, or too the wrong people, or not able to recognize or accept it coming back.
The co-dependency article above was very helpful. I just need some help to break the cycle. Any thoughts?November 4, 2014 at 12:52 pm #67320popiParticipant
many people have not felt love because theyre afraid of this feeling and they remove it from taking part in their lives …consciously they say that they don’t want to feel connection with others such as affection etc..(I’m that kind of person because of personal esperiences in my childhood with my father)
that’s why many people are disappointed from love in general.
experiences are very important in the circle of our lives , that’s why we protect younger people from bad relationships etc.(overprotection)
But,besides this,we can control our thoughts,beliefs and emotions by thinking that life is multiple gift and we have a lot of chances.
Probably you’re afraid of this feeling,and maybe you had bad experiences one time in your life,we almost all have.
The thing you must do is open your heart to the world,try to accept different kinds of people ,trust and take risks.
This,maybe can make you feel uncomfortable at the beginning but I think it’s the only way.
We make the world,we are the members and we must change the whole picture of this,trying to see trust as a good thing andsee other people as good as we are and not being afraid or generalize people.
Many people die unhappily, they didn’t want to feel love or they were disappointed in their whole lives.
This is unfair,we are people and we must be with others,feel these emotions extremely.
A person can’t live happily without love and compassion and affection.
We care about others but sometimes we don’t want to admit it because of the cruel world,so we must give and give and give love.each day.
So this feeling can make your life better,and make you feel happy.
Give love to someone you care about. Love is giving protection, and your heart, all your emotions and your powers to help your love. This is unlimited love and is very poisonous if you want to give all you have. But it’s worth it.
If you didn’t felt this way once at leastin your live,you must feel it.
The pain after this is so real but this means you have strong emotions and
humanity in your soul.
Practically,we can’t live without others we can’t live without love and we cant live without pain.
p.s. it’s not habit this painful feeling you are trying to remove from your life, it’s your beliefs.( emotions,way of thinking)