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March 22, 2021 at 4:41 pm #376417
AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable! Ratatouille: a dish with succulent Mediterranean vegetables: eggplants, zucchini, mushrooms, onions, garlic, parsley with parmesan cheese, yum!
Today… I saw stinging nettles and quite big, maybe 20 centimeters, maybe more, not on my regular walk).
Good you took breaks during your 40 minutes yoga!
anita
March 23, 2021 at 1:23 pm #376456
LilyParticipantDear anita,
yes, the ratatouille was pretty good 🙂 Today I ate it again.
And how nice that you saw nettles! Spring is also coming closer at your part of the world!
Today I did paint two pages for project B. Also, I did some yoga but didn’t finish the session. It was more of a slow day. I think I know what I am lacking: it’s the very thing I was so afraid of and therefore avoided: human connection.
Tomorrow I want to try to stick to my routines and work on my projects.
See you!
March 23, 2021 at 1:39 pm #376458AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable! Yes, human connection is what we all need. We are born that way, being social animals.
anita
March 24, 2021 at 11:11 am #376492LilyParticipantDear anita,
you are right, we need connection. At the moment, it’s a bit hard to make new ones and even without this situation, it has always been hard for me. Maybe I could volunteer at something, but I am also worried that it will become too much in the end… Making new connections is something I usually avoid so much! I have a lot of resistance when it comes to meeting new people. Usually, I want to stay in my cozy home and just spend time by myself. But like this nothing changes… I guess sometimes we have to also do uncomfortable things!
Today I cleaned my room did my laundry and then drew for a while. I am feeling better than yesterday, but am still not getting enough done. I am always self-sabotaging…
Tomorrow I have to be more active, it will make me feel better in the end!! It is not so bad once I start. I can do it! I will not look at the phone in the morning instead immediately get up. I will work on project C, even if I am a bit lost there at the moment. Maybe I can start with an easier part of it, to get into it. I know that I can focus and work a lot!
Hope your day is good! Please take care!
March 24, 2021 at 12:18 pm #376497AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable! I know it’s difficult for you to meet new people/ make new connections, and that you prefer to spend time alone- make sure to take enough alone-time for yourself to rest and recover in between the times you socialize.
anita
March 25, 2021 at 12:07 pm #376550LilyParticipantDear anita,
thank you for the advice. It is a good idea to spend time alone after lots of social interactions.
Today I wanted to sign up for a uni class, but I am too afraid to do so. You can only sign up until today. I am also not sure if it would be the right thing to do. On one hand, I would like to get feedback and learn. And I could become more connected to my uni again. On the other hand, it could distract me from finishing my projects, and then it could take me even longer to study. Also, the social side scares me, that the other people would dislike me and that I was too strange to the professor in the past… Also technical issues, at least I got finally a new PC last winter, but still am missing some equipment.
I guess I will continue to work by myself.
It went better today. I got up early and went for a walk, it made me feel better. Later I drew and also worked on project C. Now I am seeing a solution to the problem that kept me stuck. So I feel more hopeful.
Tomorrow is my workday and I also want to do some yoga and work on project C.
March 25, 2021 at 12:09 pm #376551LilyParticipantMaybe I can find another way to get feedback, maybe that would be a better idea?
March 25, 2021 at 1:24 pm #376557AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable! You are welcome. If you can find another way to get feedback, a way that will cause you less anxiety, or no anxiety- that will be great! Talking about great, or good- it feels pretty good to be fully vaccinated. I just returned from getting my second Pfizer vaccine!
anita
March 26, 2021 at 12:58 pm #376596LilyParticipantDear anita,
that’s amazing that you got vaccinated! Must be a relief. It seems like the US is doing better now, since the new president is in office. That is wonderful!
Here we are still in lockdown since November and the vaccinations are also going slowly. But thankfully my family and friends are still healthy! Hopefully the situation will become better with time.
About the uni situation: well, I am not too happy with myself. But it could also be a good thing to finish all my old projects before starting something new. Still, I want to think about other ways to get more feedback and learn more and connect with others…
My day at work was mostly o.K., even though I had some awkward moments. After work I did yoga and talked to my roommate. Also I used the internet.
But tomorrow I have to work on project C. And it would be good to go outside for a bit. Now I will probably read a bit and then go to sleep. goodnight!
March 26, 2021 at 1:25 pm #376597AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable yet again! I feel good today, the day after the vaccination, no side effects. And yes, the country is doing better in regard to the pandemic and in other ways, under the new President. It is nice to have logic and science in the white house!
Goodnight, Lily, I hope you sleep well.
anita
March 27, 2021 at 1:38 pm #376640LilyParticipantDear anita,
yes, I am also relieved that things are becoming more normal again in the U.S.
And it is good to hear that you are feeling good after your vaccination! Please stay healthy and safe from the virus!
Today I drew and did yoga, but I also got distracted. Tomorrow I want to stick to my routines and work for uni!
March 27, 2021 at 1:50 pm #376653AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable! Thank you, and please keep yourself safe as well. I feel better than usual since I got vaccinated- maybe its spring, and it is also feeling better for having been vaccinated. I wish everyone who is not currently vaccinated will get vaccinated as soon as possible, you too.
anita
March 28, 2021 at 12:05 pm #376761LilyParticipantDear anita,
how good that you are feeling so well after the vaccination! I think it will take some time before I get vaccinated. At the moment the high-risk groups are still up for their vaccination. I am also kind of confused about the whole AstraZeneca thing…
Today I was doing a little better and feeling better. In the morning I did yoga for 20 minutes and then I cooked some food. Later I worked on project C and almost got a whole page done. Tomorrow I want to finish that page and I want to do my best to do yoga every day now!
March 28, 2021 at 12:26 pm #376762AnonymousGuestDear Lily:
Accountable yet again! I am still feeling good even on a day that is grey and rainy like today. Good to read that you felt better today. I hope you have a good night sleep, dearest Lily.
anita
March 29, 2021 at 2:00 pm #376801LilyParticipantDear anita,
sometimes I like rainy days 🙂 Good that you are still feeling good!
Today I am feeling quite content with myself. As some of my colleagues are on holiday, I went to work today. Everything was o.K., I did not feel any major embarrassments. But I was already feeling quite well in the morning. My thought a few days ago was that I should unapologetically love myself and accept myself. And this morning I was feeling it.
And after work, I even did 38 minutes of yoga and finished the page I started yesterday. If only I could be so productive every day or most days.
What was not so good today is that I ate a lot of sweets. At work clients brought cake and at home, I ate sweets from a package my parents sent me. Sometimes I have some sort of binge eating attacks and I feel bad afterwards… I would like to improve and not eat so much sugar.
Tomorrow I want to eat more healthy and not buy any sugary things either. Then I want to work on project C and other uni stuff, do yoga and maybe go for a walk.
Overall it was a good day today. During the last days, I felt like my passion has reignited and the feelings of shame are less.
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