Advice needed/ relationship dilema

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    Hello Marilyn,
    No no…i meant that all the stuff i wrote about Bernie being a good human being is true….but i would surely take credit for all the advice i gave…;) actually ive seen my friend go thru a lot while she was in a relationship with this selfish guy and i dragged her out of serious depression…so i kinda know what the other person must be feeling….im really glad you liked what i said:) i just entered 10th grade and thankfully i have not loved anyone as yet..right now i want to focus only on my academics and top my school,and of course have fun with friends and family….i feel that we should not be dependent on anyone else except our family and ourself to love us…

    I have two loving parents and a very sweet elder sister and a great best friend.im pretty good in my academics and im all my teacher’s blue eyed girl..i think thats all ill be needing…and i feel that if anyone has such an environment around them then there’s no need for any other person to come into their life and give them nothing but pain.dont you think so too??? only the people who truely love us should be allowed into our lives..ive been doubting my abilites recently but im hoping to just snap out of this self-doubt stage and be back to my normal confident life..dont you think that at some point every person doubts themself a bit?? i want to become my school’s headgirl and im scared that if i become so,will i have enough time to fulfill all my responsibilites towards my school and also study well?? and if i dont become the headgirl,am i not good enough to become so?? its driving me nuts but still i went ahead and submitted my name as a nomination…im hoping for the best.:)

    Even if i dont become the headgirl or even if i do,i have faith that whatever will happen will be for the best…and ill surely try to get those books..i love reading too so i guess ill enjoy those:) thanx for taking the time to reply

    Best Regards,



    my boyfreind behaved the same way. he was secretive, different around me etc. i thought he was the nicest man in the world, a real saint. he used to tell me “i love you” at;east 100 times a day. i never thought the following would happen:

    turns out he dint want to be in the relationship but was afraid of hurting my feelings so never said it. he had already told everyone else we had broken up 8 months ago. i came to know much later. also came to know he was secretly having crush on 4 other girls. now we are finally breaking up.


    I have been with my bf for 8 yrs and a couple of months though we have our differences I love him and don’t know if he still feels the same about me.We argue for no reason and simple things offend us, he drinks and sleeps out sometimes days he don’t come home, when I question him he gets angry and picks fights. he even hit me for the first time after he came home at 3:00 am one morning. He says he wants us to be together but never make time for my daughter and I. I’ve tried EVERYTHING possible. What is the best thing to do?


    what I see in your post is a man whos words and actions don’t match.
    He is not a child who doesn’t know what he does. He knows and he still acts that way: drinks, doesn’t come home, picks fights if you ask him for explanation, makes no time for you, even hits you.
    There are little options in this case, I’d say. The best thing to do would be doing something good FOR YOU.
    Does that man make you happy? Doesn’t seem so, as you don’t know what measures to undertake in order to put things into place. Going back to whats good for you – is a life without a proper care and respect of your man good for you? Don’t think so.
    I do believe you love him, but I don’t believe he loves you. And I suspect you have little love for yourself as well, or else you’d kick the man, who hits you, right to the curb.
    Where is love, there is no abuse, neither physical nor mental.
    I suggest that you make the effort to create a joyous life for you and your child, instead of wasting your energy for some man who obviously doesn’t care about you at all.
    Please resist the temptation to “help him save himself” and to brush his horrible behaviour with you under the rug, and let that man go, he is no good.

    Janet Ong Zimmerman

    Dear Bernadette,

    I was glad to read that you are moving on with your life. You sound like a wonderful woman who deserves much more. Sending you much love,


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