Thank you, Wisdom! I miss our talks but I also know many of them were tough, and not only for you! So you taking a break for as long as you need to, even as long as…ever, I understand that and expect nothing.
anita

Dear Wisdom:

Oh, I thought you didn’t want to talk. last you wrote you were not feeling well and I thought it was because of our correspondence, not so then?

If you want to talk, yes, i want to. I am about to go on one of those walks of mine. Let’s see: we can talk about religion (did you check the thread I told you about, where you posted, the one on spirituality… you can bring it back up if you’d like. Anything to talk about will be fine with me as long as it doesn’t distress you. Will be back in a couple of hours and see if you posted.

anita

Dear Wisdom:

Thanks. The walk was okay. It used to be completely dark out at 5PM not long ago, but now it is not completely dark and it is almost 8PM- the weather here in WA changes drastically over the year as well as the dark/ light cycle.

We probably both got carried away last time. We both get emotional about things, topics, so that’s what happened. And yes, I remember now… I remember the topic. Don’t even want to touch it now.

What is new with the kindergarten pursuit, maybe another day there? You were excited that day! you were sure you wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. And what happened with the president position you were nominated for… forgot all about it, for crying out loud! And your thoughts about moving to Los Angeles… Practical things.

anita

Dear Wisdom:

“Who could really know anything about anything”? I do. I know something about something. And so do you. You know things. You only wish you knew the things you really, really want to know. The questions that haunt you: those you want to know so to have peace. And I know some of the answers to the questions that haunt you and wrote to you what they are, but my answers don’t bring you peace and even distress you, so you didn’t accept them.

I will give you an example: you don’t know if you and this guy are destined to live together in love. You feel destiny is real but you are not sure. And you are often frustrated and depressed waiting for destiny to do its thing, to come true.

I don’t believe in destiny but I don’t know it, that is: I can’t prove some sort of destiny does not exist and maybe some form of it does. What I do know is the following:

It is not working for the benefit of Wisdom to believe AND wait for destiny to bring her and that guy together.

This is what I know and the evidence for it is all over this very thread, evident in your own writings! Even in this post you wrote: “I feel like i’m not supposed to have anything exciting or good. i don’t know.’ – so not only you are depressed about the idea that you are not supposed to have anything exciting or good in your life but you don’t know, meaning, on top of being depressed you are also confused.

You being depressed and confused again and again means that believing in destiny and waiting for it to get you and the guy to live together in love is not working for you- and that I know. So, I do know something about something.

I am suggesting to you, Wisdom, to go on believing in destiny if you want and need to. I am also suggesting for you to not rely on it, to place that belief in destiny in a corner of your mind (so if it will be, it will be) and no longer wait for it, no longer expect it, no longer focus on it. Clear up your brain space from what is not working for you.

Wisdom in kindergarten in April then.

anita

Dear Wisdom:

Welcome back to posting on your thread! It’s been exactly 10 days since last post.

Nothing much to say, you wrote, reminds me of what I communicated to someone lately, that I prefer “heavenly boredom” over “hellish excitement”- lots of excitement in people’s lives is of destructive consequences for themselves and for others. Boredom in this regard is not that bad.

I hope you do make a new friend. About getting your feelings hurt, if not today than sometime in the future, your feelings will indeed be hurt again. It is a fact of life that we cannot prevent, only lower the chances of the frequency with which this happens.

Till your next post, please do take best care of yourself!

anita

Dear Wisdom:

It is better to accept what happens when there is nothing you can do about it. If there is nothing you can do to change something, then yes, better accept it as peacefully as you can (that’s what you meant by “everything happens for a reason”?)

anita

Dear Wisdom:

I see. well, we agree then about “the most part”- accepting what we cannot change. Reminds me of the serenity prayer, I think it goes like this:

“god, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things i can
and the wisdom to know the difference”

Notice, the “Wisdom” to know the difference…

anita

Dear Wisdom:

Taped to your mirror in your room! I am picturing it in my mind, now I have some image about your room. The last line, the hardest part…

Do I think “anything in life is possible”? No, I don’t. this saying that anything in life is possible, that you can achieve whatever you want, all that is part of delusional, convenient thinking, simply not true. Some things you think are not possible for you are possible, over time. For example, being in a loving relationship with a man. But not “anything ..possible”- only some things are. So I cannot make myself younger, turn the clock backward. And you are correct, many people or most don’t want to know this is not possible (last line of the prayer).

So that is one thing we cannot change: our age. Also, a lot of how we look, and the family we were born into. On the other hand we can change the family we choose to live with next, or the people we associate with.

anita