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afraid to live

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  • February 4, 2016 at 9:14 pm #95065
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    I understand you feeling it is personal and I am glad you didn’t share what is too personal for you to share!

    I am glad your grandpa loved you and wish he was still alive.

    The things you believe about the spiritual world, these are interesting beliefs. You can tell me more some other time about those..

    I was thinking, when I lived in LA I listened a lot to a radio station called KFI640AM- if you google this, you will get their website and you can listen to the broadcasting free of charge. You can hear the weather reports and traffic reports and a variety of real local issues in the area. It may interest you, one or more of their weekday and weekend programs. Give you a feel for LA. If you listen to it, tell me what you think…

    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 11:21 am #95111
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    I mentioned above your spiritual beliefs. Just now I re-read your posts on this thread so to understand better those beliefs. This is what I understand and please tell me if I am correct, where I am correct and where I am not and elaborate, if needed…?

    So, here is what I understand you believe (I will write it from the first person point of view, as if I was you):

    Other people say god is their friend and they have a personal relationship with him, so maybe he is my friend but I am not sure about it. Maybe he doesn’t like me very much. He has a plan for other people. His plan for them is their destiny. Then he must have a plan for me and I too have a destiny. But I think my destiny is to be alone and a failure because there is something wrong with me, different, undesirable that makes people not want to be with me (or be with me only if they have no one else to be with). Maybe god is testing me and has been testing me and I failed his tests. Maybe he showed me what to do and i didn’t notice and didn’t do what I was supposed to do.

    I better listen more to god because if there is a way for me to have a better life than I had so far, god has the answers and the plan. All I need is to know what plan he has for me and follow it. I can’t do anything right by myself, really, and my only chance to do anything right is his plan.

    Except that maybe the plan is that I don’t do anything right and my purpose in this world is to be an example for others for how not to be and how not to live. That could be a purpose and a destiny, to be a screw up as an example for others to not be like that.

    ???

    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 2:45 pm #95117
    Wisdom
    Participant

    right on point, anita! and then when people say to ask god for answers, i don’t know when or how god answers. whether it be a dream or a song or anything, i wouldn’t really be able to tell, causing me to believe that maybe he’s not answering me at all or maybe he’s holding back the answer from me.

    and i’ll definitely check out that radio station thank you for the reccomendation!

    February 5, 2016 at 6:53 pm #95128
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    You are welcome. And I am glad I understand correctly your spiritual views as they exist now. Plus your dilemma about how you are supposed to know if and when you do get an answer from god, a good question!

    Since you believe in a god, what I do know is that you need a god that will tell you in a clear, straightforward, direct way what it is that he thinks you are and what he wants your life to be about… and what he wants you to actually do. This is what you need from god, isn’t it, to just TELL you. It must be frustrating to not get answers…

    If you have ideas about how to proceed from here regarding god and the answers you need so desperately, please let me know.

    And let me know about KFI 640. Soon to be 7PM here (WA) and 10 PM in New York.

    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 7:23 pm #95132
    Wisdom
    Participant

    i’m actually not so sure how to discern the voice of god. i usually feel like lots of things i make seem like they’re from god just because i am waiting on him to answer me. is there really a definitive way of knowing somethings truly from god? usually there’s a sure feeling, i’m sure, but i feel blocked emotionally and somewhat spiritually.

    and i’m still trying to navigate the site, but so far the weather part seems really helpful! they show the weather in just about every city so that could be very helpful in the future. i’ll get used to how their site is set up though to actually get to know about everything haha!

    February 5, 2016 at 7:43 pm #95133
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    Regarding the radio station, it is http://www.iheart.com/live/kfi (I am listening to it right now…Tim Conray Junior show right now, not a local issue right now)

    Regarding god, I don’t think that the reason you are not hearing his answers is because you are blocked emotionally or spiritually. I think that if god spoke to you with a voice that you can hear, then you would hear his answer. And if he produced a written answer, then you would be able to read it. And if he produced a video you could watch, then you would be able to watch it. So, without an audio or a video or a written paper with answers to your questions, even one answer to one question, how are you supposed to “get” the answer. It is unreasonable for god to expect you to get his answer unless he tells you.

    I mean, if I don’t post here to you, you won’t be able to read my post.

    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 8:15 pm #95137
    Wisdom
    Participant

    i think i understand a little bit. or maybe you’re sorta saying he tells us the answer, it just takes time for us to know that’s his answer?

    February 5, 2016 at 8:29 pm #95138
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    I will restate my point from post before last:

    How are you supposed to know god’s answers if god doesn’t speak to you, telling you the answer with a voice you can hear? If god doesn’t speak to you, or write to you a note, or post to you (like I am doing now), how are you supposed to know his answer?

    It doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, if you ask me a question and I don’t type an answer and send it to you here on this website, and I don’t call you on the phone and tell you, how are you supposed to know my answer?

    If you ask me a question, it is my responsibility to deliver the answer to you. I am not going to say: guess what my answer is… I would just TELL you!

    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 8:51 pm #95143
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    Bed time for me.. and it should be for you being three hours ahead. I wanted to write to let you know I am getting off the computer.

    About answers from god, this is my suggestion to you: if you already asked god questions, again and again and you didn’t hear or read his answer to you, then I would stop waiting for his answers in the form of some spiritual revelation and instead I would open my eyes and see what I can see with my eyes. For example I can see nature and learn a lot about who I am by observing nature. When I see a tree that is injured, how it naturally heals, I learn that I too can heal, same healing force, the natural healing available to all living things.

    Please write me again about god or not. If what I wrote about god bothers you, we can talk about other things…

    anita

    February 5, 2016 at 9:20 pm #95144
    Wisdom
    Participant

    i understand what you were saying before. sorry that i didn’t catch on too quick. this discussion about god doesnt bother me at all.

    i suppose seeing things as they are in the now is better. i never really figured whether i was being impatient with god or just not able to recieve anything.

    i’ll write more tomorrow.

    February 6, 2016 at 7:52 am #95148
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    I am glad you were not bothered by our discussion about god. I don’t think you are impatient with god. What I mean by it is you already asked god your questions and you already waited and waited… and waited for his answers and got no solid answers if any at all. So, how long should you wait? And why wait when there is so much you can learn from if you look around you and study what you can easily see and hear?

    Many answers are available if you keep your eyes open to what is here to see.

    I learn a lot from seeing nature and seeing people and observing what happens here, in this physical life.

    Till your next post, take good care of yourself, Wisdom. I very much like our discussions!

    anita

    February 6, 2016 at 9:14 am #95150
    Wisdom
    Participant

    i enjoy our discussions too anita, they’re very helpful and also make me think more of what i say and how exactly i’m thinking juxtaposed with what others think and believe.

    not to sound like a lunatic, but how you learn from nature reminds me of when i was looking for answers from trees. not that trees can actually talk with a voice of course, but i do believe that they can talk. that they do have some kind of soul to them. i used to ask trees questions in my head and wait for them to answer (one person i watched on youtube said that usually they shake their branches as a response) but i never really understood how that worked.

    with watching people: i believe that can be something to. to just watch and learn, but there’s so many people to look at haha! but i do try to take as many people as i see into account. i believe just about every single person we come across means something to us or our lives in some way.

    February 6, 2016 at 9:27 am #95151
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and you do not sound like a lunatic to me, not at all! You seem to me like an intelligent young person looking for answers, curious about life and what your path in life may be! You look here and there for what is true.

    Different people believe different things about what is true, often contradictory things, so in trying to learn what is objectively true, I go by what I see, by what I observe, not by what I imagine or by what other people imagine and assume.

    I will give you an example: I see that every single living thing dies, every person dies, no human lives forever. Some people believe there is heaven and hell after death. I can’t see heaven and hell and I see no evidence of those. From personal observation I see that all people die, so I know it is objectively true that all people die. I do not know if there is heaven and hell after death, so this may not be objectively true, it may only feel real to some people (subjectively true).

    Another example: I observed that innocent children are killed and die even though they are innocent. I observed that through personal experience, statistics, history accounts. Some people believe that if they will be “good”, god will protect them and they will not die, at least not until they are old. This is what they believe. But I observed that young children who are good, die young. So I know that the objective truth is that there is no god who protecting those the innocent and good, at least no god protecting many, many innocent and good children.

    These are the kinds of observations I am talking about, learning from what you see is happening and seeing the difference between what is objectively true and what may be only subjectively true to some people.

    anita

    February 6, 2016 at 10:10 am #95155
    Wisdom
    Participant

    that makes a lot of sense – the what’s here now is all that’s here – i guess the dreams and hopes and expectations we all usually have make way for more anxiety in our lives, but i guess it also helps us keep hanging onto life too. i should probably read more on other religions and beliefs very soon i always get caught up in deciding what i should learn first.

    and i never really looked at life that way (the part about innocent children). i’ve been taught that we choose our lives – not to say that innocent children or anyone with ailments deserves to die or be in pain etc. – but we chose certain things in order to learn and grow. but then how can you learn and grow when you choose a life cut so short? maybe just to come back into life and experience it again maybe. but that goes back into past lives which i remember you said you don’t believe in. it’s just really interesting the many ways life and spirituality can be looked at.

    this is going off topic, but what would you say about relationships anita? there’s this person i want to talk to after not having so for almost a year now, but i’m afraid that maybe they won’t remember me or even care really. mainly because i like them. lately i’ve just been going by “if it was meant to be then they’ll come back”. i’ve never been in a relationship with them and we were never neccessarily the best of friends, but friendly. what would be the best thing to do about this? i feel pretty…i don’t want to say desperate but thinking about how often i think about them, that’s probably the only word that’ll fit. i’m also pretty scared that i’m probably not his type of girl. he always seems to like other girls.

    February 6, 2016 at 10:16 am #95156
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wisdom:

    Will be back in a bit more than an hour and looking forward to read your post above and respond to it when i am back!

    anita

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