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After break up – trying to change relatipnships patterns and overcome rejected

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Viewing 6 posts - 31 through 36 (of 36 total)
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  • #380454
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rhaenys:

    I hope you are well. I am posting to you here almost seven months after your last post. I want to invite you to post here again, if you want to. How are you?

    anita

    #383215
    Rhaenys
    Participant

    Hello dear Anita.

    Thank you very much for thinking and remembering me, that’s really nice and thoughtful of you.

    Sincerely, I’ve read this and been wanting to write a reply, and thinking about what will I write, but really didn’t know how to sum up everything. I will write a longer reply this weekend.

    Thank you again, I was really touched by your concern.

    #383216
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rhaenys:

    How exciting to read from you again on this thread, nine months after you last posted here! You are welcome, thank you for your kind words. I am looking forward to read from you this weekend.

    anita

    #383434
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rhaenys:

    It’s okay with me that you didn’t post this weekend like you said you will. I am posting this because I know that you don’t like to be ignored or overlooked, so I wanted to let you know that here, you are not any of these things. Here, you are noticed!

    anita

    #383477
    Rhaenys
    Participant

    Hello Anita. Thank you for letting me know I’m noticed here.

    Sincerely, I was very tired this week, with problems and stress from work, so I didn’t post on weekend. I don’t like when I say something and don’t do it (I’m trying not to do that, as much as possible), but I was sleeping a lot and relaxing. And posting here, and also on other topic takes time, because I need to carefully read other replies and then focus on mine. I know you’ll understand.

    I guess you’ve been reading other topic too? I think I felt reading about other people experiences in break up and talking with them will help.

    So my update… I admit  this winter and spring were not the best in my life.. With COVID, and everything closed, I felt kind of sad many times. I think I craved for connecting and meeting new people and couldn’t have it. But it may be for better, as I haven’t rushed into anything either.

    I actually connected a lot with my parents. Mom is such a support, and I also connected with my dad. I feel like he had problems last autumn too, and now he overcame them, and is much calmer and really patient, and he also helped me and supported me a lot. I know you wrote I should go away (I got that advice in other thread too) but I don’t want to. I want to be close to them and I also love this town where I am now. Also, because I know many people here, meeting new ones is much easier, than it was to me when I was living in bigger city alone.

    Now that is summer and things are opening, we started going out and hanging out more and I’ve been called on a few dates. And I admit it’s scary to me. I’m thinking about giving therapy another go this fall. I guess this was expected.
    I however do recognize I’m not rushing now. Actually I think I’m too careful now, and when I get called on a date, I immediately star thinking of problems (we are not compatible because…). And if I find a guy interesting, and he shows interest too, then I feel scared even more.

    I know that is fear, and I realize now I do have problems with that fear and it won’t go away until I deal with it, whether I’m in a relationship or not. So I’m trying to find a way to do that.

    • This reply was modified 5 days, 21 hours ago by Rhaenys.
    #383482
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rhaenys:

    You are welcome and thank you for getting back to me and giving me a detailed update! Of course, I understand you not posting during the weekend.

    I actually connected a lot with my parents… I know you wrote I should go away (I got that advice in other thread too) but I don’t want to. I want to be close to them and I also love this town where I am now“- I withdraw my previous suggestion that you move away from your parents. I changed some of my positions and attitudes since we last communicated nine months ago.  I think that it is wonderful that you connecting with your mother and with your father, that they are both supportive of you, and I respect your desire to stay close to them, physically and emotionally.

    I know that is fear, and I realize now I do have problems with that fear and it won’t go away until I deal with it, whether I’m in a relationship or not. So I’m trying to find a way to do that“- I just read your post on the other thread where you shared about your fear. It so happens that some time ago, without a plan of sharing it with you,  I did what I call a “mini-study” about your fear, based on your posts on both threads. It is not unusual for me to do such mini-studies (I use these public forums to learn about people).

    If you want me to share with you about that mini-study (I recorded it for myself), let me know. The goal of sharing it with you would be nothing other than maybe you will find it interesting.

    anita

Viewing 6 posts - 31 through 36 (of 36 total)

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