Home→Forums→Relationships→After break up – trying to change relatipnships patterns and overcome rejected
- This topic has 35 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 8 months ago by Anonymous.
May 25, 2021 at 7:53 pm #380454AnonymousGuest
I hope you are well. I am posting to you here almost seven months after your last post. I want to invite you to post here again, if you want to. How are you?
anitaJuly 22, 2021 at 8:55 am #383215RhaenysParticipant
Hello dear Anita.
Thank you very much for thinking and remembering me, that’s really nice and thoughtful of you.
Sincerely, I’ve read this and been wanting to write a reply, and thinking about what will I write, but really didn’t know how to sum up everything. I will write a longer reply this weekend.
Thank you again, I was really touched by your concern.July 22, 2021 at 9:12 am #383216AnonymousGuest
How exciting to read from you again on this thread, nine months after you last posted here! You are welcome, thank you for your kind words. I am looking forward to read from you this weekend.
anitaJuly 25, 2021 at 5:37 pm #383434AnonymousGuest
It’s okay with me that you didn’t post this weekend like you said you will. I am posting this because I know that you don’t like to be ignored or overlooked, so I wanted to let you know that here, you are not any of these things. Here, you are noticed!
anitaJuly 26, 2021 at 1:01 pm #383477RhaenysParticipant
Hello Anita. Thank you for letting me know I’m noticed here.
Sincerely, I was very tired this week, with problems and stress from work, so I didn’t post on weekend. I don’t like when I say something and don’t do it (I’m trying not to do that, as much as possible), but I was sleeping a lot and relaxing. And posting here, and also on other topic takes time, because I need to carefully read other replies and then focus on mine. I know you’ll understand.
I guess you’ve been reading other topic too? I think I felt reading about other people experiences in break up and talking with them will help.
So my update… I admit this winter and spring were not the best in my life.. With COVID, and everything closed, I felt kind of sad many times. I think I craved for connecting and meeting new people and couldn’t have it. But it may be for better, as I haven’t rushed into anything either.
I actually connected a lot with my parents. Mom is such a support, and I also connected with my dad. I feel like he had problems last autumn too, and now he overcame them, and is much calmer and really patient, and he also helped me and supported me a lot. I know you wrote I should go away (I got that advice in other thread too) but I don’t want to. I want to be close to them and I also love this town where I am now. Also, because I know many people here, meeting new ones is much easier, than it was to me when I was living in bigger city alone.
Now that is summer and things are opening, we started going out and hanging out more and I’ve been called on a few dates. And I admit it’s scary to me. I’m thinking about giving therapy another go this fall. I guess this was expected.
I however do recognize I’m not rushing now. Actually I think I’m too careful now, and when I get called on a date, I immediately star thinking of problems (we are not compatible because…). And if I find a guy interesting, and he shows interest too, then I feel scared even more.
I know that is fear, and I realize now I do have problems with that fear and it won’t go away until I deal with it, whether I’m in a relationship or not. So I’m trying to find a way to do that.
July 26, 2021 at 2:19 pm #383482AnonymousGuest
- This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Rhaenys.
You are welcome and thank you for getting back to me and giving me a detailed update! Of course, I understand you not posting during the weekend.
“I actually connected a lot with my parents… I know you wrote I should go away (I got that advice in other thread too) but I don’t want to. I want to be close to them and I also love this town where I am now“- I withdraw my previous suggestion that you move away from your parents. I changed some of my positions and attitudes since we last communicated nine months ago. I think that it is wonderful that you connecting with your mother and with your father, that they are both supportive of you, and I respect your desire to stay close to them, physically and emotionally.
“I know that is fear, and I realize now I do have problems with that fear and it won’t go away until I deal with it, whether I’m in a relationship or not. So I’m trying to find a way to do that“- I just read your post on the other thread where you shared about your fear. It so happens that some time ago, without a plan of sharing it with you, I did what I call a “mini-study” about your fear, based on your posts on both threads. It is not unusual for me to do such mini-studies (I use these public forums to learn about people).
If you want me to share with you about that mini-study (I recorded it for myself), let me know. The goal of sharing it with you would be nothing other than maybe you will find it interesting.