P/s:
btw, you guys have a blessss weather, its like -20 something in Toronto now… cheer up. Also, why not ask your mom to celebrate Christmas at your house and ask everyone to come over, tell her you will help her to prepare everything(just what i will do, again just recommendation lol)…. anyway just my recommendation.

Hi Rosaly,

This is my first day on this site and I signed up for a similar reason to yourself, basically feeling lonely and unwanted.
Firstly I’m not going to tell you how lucky you are like others have, instead I personally think its heart breaking and selfish on your mums part that she could even leave you on your own at Christmas. Weather your 24 or not, your her daughter. I’m 32 now and still feel exactly the same as I did when I was 21, I still hurt and feel sad and struggle to no where to go. there is nothing wrong in being sad, and people who talk about others worse off, well we already know this but right now we’re to busy trying to make ourselves happy and thinking and caring about our own feelings than others and so we should.

I don’t really no what to suggest to you really other then friendship and somebody to care which I do.

I am trying to fix myself at the moment and am starting to realise that my real issues stem from growing up and feeling abandoned, unwanted and unimportant. unlike you I am fortunate to have a mum and 2 sisters as well as aunts. We are all so close but also so far apart that none of us actually understand each other at all we just all love giving our opinions and judgement on each others life’s which is negative and wrong. This year we are all spending xmas together thankfully because other wise it would just be myself, my mum and her boyfriend.

I generally don’t have any friends which I really don’t no know why because I have had so many over the years but they’ve always disappeared on me. I expect people to treat me how I would them which is with care and loyalty and when they don’t which is more or less always I then feel so disappointed and let down. I have been single 9 years now even thou I go on dates etc which i’ve had to resort to tinder for, its always just guys who like small talk and not actually interested in building any kind of connection other than you know what which as much as I love I want a relationship not a quick bunk up lol. I am a fun, outgoing, lively girl who without sounding big headed but I am an attractive girl so really i shouldn’t have any issues but i do every single time. Every single thing I do I do alone which is what makes me feel so lonely, esp when there are people who could join you but choose not to.

Anyway I will be spending new years alone no doubt as I don’t ever get invited anywhere, only by my sister usually but she now has a new boyfriend and just wants to be with him which is totally normal, I’m not her issue.

So all I can suggest to you is to try to make the most of your alone time, buy yourself some nice food, nice new pyjamas or something, maybe light a nice candle and find a good film and just relax for the day. Try not to think about what others are doing and just think about you. I just wanted to ask thou and I’m sure its because you don’t want to burden but has none of your friends who know your situation not invited you to spend Christmas with them and their families?
either way I would love to maybe connect with you more and I think its always nice to have somebody to talk to who can relate to how your feeling. Not sure how we can connect on here so message back if your interested. lots of love from me to you xxx

HI there rosaly,

One suggestion that I can possibly make for you would be the fact that on Christmas Eve take a night stroll. If you are situated in one of the major cities of Brussels or Bruges, don’t be afraid to walk around the city center when night falls and everyone is inside their homes and the only people walking around are the churchgoers and last minute Christmas shoppers and just take it all in. I am aware that at first it might seem disheartening to see all the “happy” and “loving” families celebrating the holiday, but after some time when the crowds thin out and everything is quiet with the lights and decorations, it truly does feel like a silent night. Where you can stop and think/meditate over the things that you already have in life. Such as the excitement you have for your Christmas party with your friends. Guess what, for some people, they don’t even have that. There are homeless individuals out on the street and people living in the houses you pass by who have not moved on and are still haunted by their past or addictions.
Another suggestion would be to volunteer your time at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen( I’m not sure if that’s what they are called in Belgium).
Season Greetings!
Thank You and Take Care
-AP85

Hi Rosaly,

Here’s another thing you can do. Say to your father, sister or mother, “So, what are we doing for Christmas?” Tag along. Insist yourself. You do matter. Be an pain in their azz. Make them deal with your presence. Yeah, it’s awkward. Let it be awkward. Let them stew in and own the awkward. How dare they. Really.

The other route you can go is to view Dec. 25th/ as just a day.

Or make sure you go to a Christmas event and see some familiar faces.

Everyone else above made some really good suggestions. Make a list in case this happens next year.

Blessings,

Inky

Rosaly,
I hope you had an enjoyable holiday with your friends at the Christmas party.
Happy New Year!
Thank You and Take Care.
AP85