Hello everyone,

@Eliana, thank you for answering me. Yes, everybody that talked to me was very supportive and I had great inputs.

I already reached the exhaustion point, that’s when I decided to break up. I can see clearly that’s not the relationship I deserve, so I’m trying to have faith that I will be able to find love again, even though it feels like this is going to last forever. But one of Anita’s inputs is that it just feels this way, so I’m trying to believe.

@Anita, cutting contact seems like an universal opinion (my family and close friends included).

So, I did this today. I said that wasn’t going to answer him again. I changed my number and asked my relatives and friends to not tell me in case he contacts them.

I know this is going to be hard, and I really expect I can be strong enough…I need to be. I don’t know exactly how this is going to be. The other times I felt lonely, helpless and felt like I have nobody. I know I’m going to walk this path again, but this time I need to go through all of it in order to be free, finally.

I can’t thank you all enough for your time and consideration in reading my story. For making me believe it is possible and that I’m going to survive.

I will keep you posted.

I wish you all happiness and peace. I hope that when this is over, I will know better a lot of things and will be able to help other as you all did to me.

Hello All,

Im coming back to this thread because I thought that you should know that I am living the best season in my life. Thank you for everyone that took the time to answer me and to offer your support.

I also think that it is important to say, to anyone that is feeling like I did: It took me lots of meditation, therapy and support from loved ones to realize that I was in an abusive relationship and discorver how to find a way out. It’s not an easy path but it is all worth it! The freedom and the lessons learned do really worth it.

For the last 2 years, I have focused on healing myself, my career, my family and friends and when I least expected, I found someone that introduced me to a new approach on love. I didnt think it was possible for me to fall in love again and here I am, falling for a man that is reliable, genuine, consistent and never makes me question his feelings and intentions. I dont know the future but I know that I’m happy and at peace now. This relationship is nothing like a rollercoaster, I feel calm and serene by his side.

So you guys were right, the pain really doesn’t last forever.

Thank you Anita, JayJay and Peter for answering my post.

@JayJay, Im very very happy to hear your answer. I came to this forum in search for someone to assure me “this will pass” so what I can do now is exactly that, tell people that are going through the same situation that it’s possible to overcome this pain and arrive at a much better place.

@Peter, after this journey what I learned about love, is that self-love is more important than anything. First, to learn and listen to your intuition in order to avoid getting into a trap of a toxic relationship because you need to fill a void within yourself.  I always knew in the back of my mind something was wrong, from the beginning. We expect other people to make us happy and sometimes we hold on to this reality so tight that we fail to acknowledge the abuse.

We create an idea of love, we idealize the other person and invest all of our energies into making the relationship works. But no relationship can work when you come from a place of emptiness inside of yourself.

I always thought I didnt have a low self-esteem. I was beautiful, well educated, succesful, confident… how could I have a low self-esteem? Turns out that all of these atributes are ephemeral, transient and if I place my value as a person on these things, once I dont have it, I lose my value. My self-love was conditional.

I struggled with this realization. I still have a lot to learn but today I see the difference between ego and self-love. More importantly, now I love myself unconditionally, regardless of being successful, beautiful etc…so now I’m able to love other people from a place of abundance. Now I can give my love to others without depleting myself and I guess that’s the reason I found someone who’s at the same mental place that I am now.