Thinking about you, EvFran, hoping you are well!

anita

Good to read back from you, EvFran, I will reply further Sun morning (it’s Sat eve here).

anita

M e R r Y C h R i S t M a S again, E v F r A n 🎄🎅 ✨❄️ 🎁 😊 !

Dear EvFran:

Good to read from you! I’m sorry to read that your Christmas was lonely and exhausting after all the hard work cleaning your uncle’s flat. It’s completely understandable to feel the weight of missing your loved ones, especially during the holidays. I admire your strength in trying to make the best of things, even when it’s challenging. Focusing on yourself in the coming year is a healthy and positive approach.

My Christmas was relaxing, spent indoors all day because of the non-stop rain. I missed the outdoors and I missed socializing but I didn’t ruminate on wishing it didn’t rain, and that I was around people. Acceptance is.. Relaxing.

Here are 4 quotes by Thich Nhat Hanh for today and for your new year:”The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don’t wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy” (Happiness and suffering are intertwined, and waiting for a perfect state free of suffering is neither possible nor necessary for the experience of joy), “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free”,

“The best way to take care of the future is to take care of the present moment”, “Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion”.

Wishing you a peaceful weekend and a Happy New Year! 😊

anita

Regarding “situations which constantly change 180 degree,” I am very curious to read about them 🤔!

anita

Dear Eva:

It’s great to read from you again! To truly appreciate your update, I revisited your first thread on tiny buddha. Your initial post was on February 4, 2023, and the last—interestingly—exactly eleven months later, on January 4, 2024.

As I read through your posts, along with some of my own, I was deeply moved by the kindness, empathy, and trustworthiness you showed me. You felt like a therapist to me as I shared my thoughts about my mother. In fact, I just copied what I shared with you and will add it later to one of my current threads where I discussed her again—only yesterday.

On February 6, 2023, you wrote to me: “You are a wonderful person who truly cares about others, reads their messages thoughtfully, and always responds with consideration, objectivity, and a genuine desire to help. You are patient and take everyone’s struggles seriously. I’ve always wondered how you do it!”

Then, on February 27, you said: “I am very happy that people like you exist.”

Those words make me smile this morning, more than 2 years later—not because I believed them at the time, but because I feel like I’m growing into that person more and more. Your encouragement helped me become the person you saw in me, and I truly appreciate it.

On Oct 12, 2023, I wrote to you: “Thank you, Eva, you have a beautiful heart!”- and indeed, you do ❤️

As to what you shared in that thread: you went through a lot—losing both your partner and mother, dealing with grief, and managing responsibilities all while trying to understand why certain friendships fell apart. Some people showered you with affection, promised loyalty, and made you feel valued, only to suddenly disappear without explanation.

You suspected that you attracted narcissistic personalities—friends who relied on you for emotional support but failed to reciprocate. They dominated conversations, made everything about themselves, and vanished when they no longer needed you. Silent treatments and sudden cut-offs left you hurt and confused, but you were starting to recognize these patterns.

You realized that setting boundaries is important, and despite the pain, you chose to move forward with greater awareness. While these lessons were difficult, you still believed in true, lasting friendships. You were meeting new people and prioritizing relationships built on trust and mutual respect.

A year and 9 months later, on Nov 29, 2024, you started this thread. Here, from Nov 29 to Dec 28, 2024, you shared about the heavy emotional and practical burden you were carrying over the past few years, facing multiple losses, including your partner, mother, uncle, and close friends. While you dedicated yourself to helping and supporting your family, especially your uncle in his final days, you came to realize that you needed to prioritize yourself moving forward.

Your uncle’s situation was complicated—he refused to acknowledge his illness, making it difficult to prepare for the inevitable. Since his estranged son was legally responsible, there was uncertainty about whether his wishes will be honored. You did everything you could to make sure he was comfortable, but you were recognizing that it was time to step back and let him handle the rest.

After years of focusing on others, you decided it was time to focus on rebuilding your own life. You were looking to find a community, a sense of stability, and a fresh start. Although Christmas was lonely, you were determined to shift your perspective and make the most of the coming year. Despite the hardships, you felt more aligned and confident that things will improve.

Fast forward to yesterday, almost 5 months later: you’ve been navigating constant change and adapting to unexpected situations with remarkable flexibility. Though exhausting at times, you continue to learn and grow, even when it feels like you’re moving through life differently than those with more settled routines.

Your uncle’s passing was peaceful, and despite the difficulties, you made sure he was cared for in the best way possible. His denial of his illness helped him cope, and now you can begin to fully process everything that has happened.

Your trip to India was sensational, bringing you joy and inspiration. And while you initially accepted a promising job offer, you realized that financial security isn’t everything—you need work that feels meaningful and contributes to a community. It’s clear that you are committed to shaping a life that truly aligns with your values.

Though the last few years have been filled with challenges, you are embracing them with resilience. You feel happy and free to explore new opportunities, trusting that the right path will unfold for you.

Thank you for sharing all of this, Eva—your ability to adapt and embrace change is truly inspiring! You’ve been through so much, yet you continue to approach life with optimism and a sense of purpose. I admire the way you follow your intuition, stepping away from things that don’t align with your values and keeping your heart open to new possibilities.

I am glad that your trip to India gave you so much joy and clarity. And your decision about the job—choosing meaning over money—shows just how deeply thoughtful and intentional you are about shaping your life.

Despite all the challenges, you seem to be finding your way with strength and confidence. Whatever comes next for you, I have no doubt that you’ll continue moving forward with courage and curiosity. Wishing you fulfillment, adventure, and all the good things you deserve! 😊 Take care, and I’d love to hear more whenever you feel like sharing.

anita