Anita’s Choice to Leave the Forums

[Helcat]

Hi Tee

Thank you for understanding and for not asking more questions about the abuse. It’s difficult to talk about.

Your explanation regarding Anita’s comment was very helpful. It helped a lot, after that it kind of clicked into place and I understood what she meant and what her intentions were. I didn’t feel any pain about it after that.

Regarding the staying silent for peace. I think it’s a very personal choice. There is no right or wrong answer. It’s personal preference.

I appreciate that you gave me the opportunity to discuss feelings about all this.

The comments did bother me because she expected that she could express herself, yet I should stay silent despite how I had been treat. I expressed to her before, if she wants me to stay silent. She should cease making these types of comments.

I value healthy communication, that’s why I think this community is important. I get along well in the workplace where again healthy communication is valued. In the workplace if one person starts ignoring another coworker. That’s not acceptable. I also felt that ignoring people was a form of abuse for someone who values talking to everyone.

It was additionally hurtful because I had communicated with her for a long time. I actually considered her a friend. But one interaction that she felt uncomfortable with was enough to start treating me unfairly.

[Helcat]

Hi Anita

I think that anyone thinks that you are a bad person. Not even myself. I believe that you are a good person, I have a lot of respect for you.

There are a lot of abusive behaviours in the world many people have them. It doesn’t mean that they are abusive people. It doesn’t make them bad people either. Frequency is an important factor. Any mistakes that you made  were infrequent.

I empathise that discussing any of these issues is a trigger for you. I’m sorry that it is. But not talking about issues is also not healthy either.

I mentioned before in a post that was deleted that you were able to overcome your behaviours with other members. I only returned because you had done so successfully. For more than a month you treat every single member, on every single comment flawlessly. I believe that my return was a trigger for you that caused some minor issues. But nothing severe. I expect that you would be able to continue with your excellent work of overcoming old behaviours once your feelings settle.

I’m sorry that you feel hurt by me infrequently expressing concern for other members.

[Author]

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