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    Hi Lori,

    Some suggestions for creating safe positive space in the forums.

    1) For potential sensitive topics, I think it would be great if users could say potential trigger warning, or sensitive content below. This way people who are healing will not be surprised to read something that may trigger them. I am not sure how this best be implemented, and maybe not everyone could follow this. Especially since it would be a new structure. It is important to share one’s truth. I just thought this might helpful. Maybe before each post is submitted, it can go through a program that will automatically add the trigger warning if it is needed?

    2) perhaps create a safe way for members to be able to share emails/messages with each other privately. The public forums are helpful so everyone can learn, and it would be nice to be able to switch into a private mode as well for certain situations.

    3) perhaps create a way for members that need space to temporarily block each other ? It would be ideal to work things out but that can’t be rushed or always possible. —>It would be good if people could stay instead of feeling like they have to leave to avoid a trigger


    Hi Cali Chica,

    Anita is no longer in the forums here at Tiny Buddha. I am not sure exactly why but either way her presence is missed. Anyways I hope you can get in touch with her, and if you do please pass along a warm hello from zeeza?

    Best regards,



    Hello Chris,

    I wish I had immediate words to help ease your pain. Heartbreaks are hard to go through. Especially processing why it all occurred. To be responsible we try to figure out what we could have done differently or did wrong. The toxic version of this would be saying I am bad I am wrong (shame) instead of guilt ‘I did something wrong’. When we process things with shame it can change our core beliefs such as not deserving love. You are worthy of love.

    when we go through loss we go through grief. There is a lot on the internet about the stages of grief

    “5 stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance”. I noticed that sometimes I go through experience more than one stage at a time, or in no particular order. Healing is possible and takes time.

    I wonder if the state you live in has free local mental healthcare? There is usually something available to help people but it depends on the state.

    When grieving and in deep sadness, it is easy to get stuck in a loop. I bring this up to help break into a different path of self care instead of the loop. The loop is not eating, not communicating with people, and shutting down. I use to do this a lot and it made it very hard to leave my house or do anything. So I suggest to please eat something nutritious, talk with someone if you feel safe to do so, and perhaps go to the woods to be with nature? if you like nature. Sometimes jut breathing into the forest can feel like nature is giving us a hug, and we are able to have new thoughts. There is an old indigenous philosophy that thought and space are connected.

    I wish you the best on your healing journey



    Dear Dee,

    Maybe you could ask your doctor about birth control that lets you skip your period? like seasonique gives you 4 periods a year. I think they are some that offer longer but I am not sure if that’s good on the body but that’s my opinion.

    Or if they are mising I find eating more red meat or things that are easy on the tummy to keep down then the periods can come back after more stable eating for awhile.

    Hope you find relief and feel better!



    Hello everyone I am so sorry for my ignorance and posting here please forgive me.


    I did tell him that but I don’t know if I trust him he said he wanted to take him on a hike when I am working and meet his friends older dogs who are calm but I don’t know how much I trust him honestly.


    I also need to tell my boyfriend to never say bad dog


    Dear Anita,

    Yes I completely agree that Mango needs positive direction. When that incident happened I was more sad and I said Mango no in not much of a difference way but out of concern way and I picked him up and the lady and I talked about what was his trigger and she said she thought I was because last time Mango saw her she had a big dog. I picked him up to try to help him feel safe and contain.

    I am not the best at being calm. The place I called was a rescue rehab center for animals. They told me he is young and can learn he is in a good window for exposure. She also said matlese are prone to nipping which I did not know.

    I was considering what is best forango and a c owner is what is best. He has a really good memory. Today when we walked he sit so I can walk through entrances first as the leader. He is staying close to me. I think I was treating him lol he was Casper so having a loose leash.

    Anyways last night I danced with Mango like I use to with Casper. And he followed me cue if I jumped he jumped and he followes me around.

    Just now some coffee was accidentally spilt bevausesngo knocked into it I said oh no in a calm way and went to get something to clean it.ango was sitting kind of timid and I just said to him it isn’t your fault it was an accidental and it’s all good.

    I do remember he was very afraid of rolled up poster paper that I was trying to hang up on my wall. I don’t know what occured previously but I know he grew up with some kids.

    I am thinking that maybe the dog park is a bit too ambitious to start with and want to ask my neighbor to have her meet us outside and I will give her treats and I will have treats and so we can practice confidently meeting. and if it is too much we will stay at a distance. It is confusing because mango has met people well before.

    I don’t know exactly how his life was before but I know he was in a crate for training purposes I never did crate training unless Casper was I’ll he didn’t want to or have to go in his kennel.

    I need to find some expert help for sure but I don’t think he needs obedience training because he listens very well when valm. he needs emotional training I think?

    It is hard because I have a hard time being called but I slept well and I think the gabapentin is working but it is like how do a train a dog well knowing I have PTSD and these issues.ayne I should of adopted a service dog.

    I guess my big question is if I. Goo enough of calm enough to give Mango what he needs to become a well adjusted dog. I had a grooming appt scheduled but now I am nervous for him . I have trimmed hair around his paws and he lets me bathe him butaybe I could consider auzzle or sothing I don’t know something to reduce the risk. But I also worry maybe that would make him more anxious. I schedule the appt in the morning when there aren’t that many dogs or people in the morning.

    I am trying my best but I also myself where do I draw the line and say hey I am not doing right by mango maybe he needs to have something different in his life but he has such bad separation anxiety I have only left him alone twice because he gets distressed so I wonder if he is so protective because of that and that he was rehomed. It’s a lot to adjust to a new place.  The neighbor lady said she also has PTSD and when isn’t feeling calm she doesn’t meet people with her dog or get together with her dog because she knows he will become defensive.

    Best wishes



    Dear Martaza,


    I hope you don’t mind if I reply in your thread. If so please disregard this message.


    Suicidal thoughts and living in isolation has been a theme of my life I call it history on repeat. What keeps me going is the science of building new neuron pathways. Our minds are flexible and the more we repeat things the new neuron pathways grow. I’ve spent years trying to make new memories new moments that aren’t fill with dread or the past coming to haunt me. There would be times I would become angry if someone hugged me because it felt so foreign and like a lie. It is hard to believe anyone cares when all you knew was what was dealt to you at a young age. Because of this I try to keep my mind as open as possible because my sense of the world can be skewed by fear.

    do you like animals? Does looking at the sky for clouds and stars? Everyone is different but I have found this to be a safe space and peace of mind. I hope you can feel safe.

    if I could go back in time 10 years ago when I was in my darkest hour of wanting to escape I would say you deserve to live and the best revenge is not letting the scars define identity. I don’t know if this is applicable or relatable to you but thought I would share because sometimes we need alternative evidence to see differently.

    best wishes,



    Dear Jo,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is really hard when losing a dear friend. My dog crossed over to the other side one month ago and I still keep expecting to see him or hear him. One poem that has really helped me and I hope could help you in your grief:


    There’s something missing in my home,
    I feel it day and night,
    I know it will take time and strength
    before things feel quite right.

    But just for now, I need to mourn,
    My heart — it needs to mend.
    Though some may say, “It’s just a pet,”
    I know I’ve lost a friend.

    You’ve brought such laughter to my home,
    and richness to my days.
    A constant friend through joy or loss
    with gentle, loving ways.

    Companion, friend, and confidante,
    A friend I won’t forget.
    You’ll live forever in my heart,
    My sweet, forever pet.

    — Susanne Taylor





    Dear Aiyana,

    I use to be shy and I have moved around a lot so if you would like any insight on how I took steps to overcome fear and try new things I am happy to share. I remember you saying that sometimes you are shy like me as well?



    Dear Aiyana,

    I hope it is alright if I respond to what you responded with previously here?

    As a writer there is so much inspiration you can write that is a beautiful dream and thats really cool that you have a mentor who inspires you as well.

    ” Pisces Season has really gotten the best of my emotions. In a way, it’s a blessing. Pisces is the twelfth and final sign of the astrology cycle.” I wonder if astrological signs also help indicate how the cycle of the earth; weather alters our modes and moods. I find that winter is usually a time of reflection for me and by the spring I am ready to apply what I learn and sprout 🙂

    May I ask what is your most favorite to write? Poetry? journalism? One of my favorite words is sehnsucht. It is a german word. I noticed that each language has unique words that can’t be translated. Sehnsucht is one of them. So I am not sure if I understand it deeply but it means an inconsolable ache/yearning. I have felt this way sometimes and having a word for it feels empowering. Do you have a favorite word?

    Best wishes,


    • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Zeeza.

    Dear Aiyana,

    I hope it so k if I respond in your thread as well? I am not sure if this helps but I found therapist through direct referral from my primary doctor and this doctor accepted the insurance I had and was networked to what I believe other therapists that have same insurance.

    I hope to unpack and sort stuff like you. I hold on to too many things sometimes. I hope your day is magical so far and your courage is inspiring 🙂



    Please feel free to respond anytime no worries about when 🙂

    May I ask and if there is particular music that is helpful? Glad you have a chance to be around animals. In my town we have cat cafés where you can pet all the kitties. I don’t know if you have something like this but wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all hang out at a kitty café and talk about choosing love.

    When I think of choosing love I think of authenticity. Sometimes being optimistic is hard so I try my best to be as neutral as possible and honest. It’s okay to not be ok. I try my best in these moments to tell myself I trust that it will be okay even if it isn’t right now.

    So if I feel sad or frustrated I will say to myself I noticed I am feeling sad. What can I do to help and comfort myself?

    Thank you for starting this thread I love being able to brainstorm ways of choosing love in a supportive environment and hearing your ideas.

    I collect heart shaped rocks and give them away. They are like worry stones to hold and calm oneself. I wish I could give you one 🙂




    Dear Lisa you aren’t invisible to me,

    You are strong as I understand it is courageous to choose love and that is strength.

    Hi,  I am new to this thread but I hope it is ok if I join this path with all of you of Choosing Love.

    What does compassion truly mean? Compassion is vital for love and as I have grown to understand, self-compassion is being gently aware of what one is experiencing. It sounds like people aren’t respecting you but this doesn’t change the fact that you do belong.

    Whenever I feel angry at myself for feeling worthless, or watching other people happy together wondering why am I alone? what is wrong with me? I try to breathe and realize that energy flows where attention goes. I try my best to focus all my energy in what I do love. My pets. I know they love me for me (that and I give them all the foods!) I will never be invisible or not enough for my fur babies. Do you enjoy animals? have you considered having a therapy pet?


    As I am trying to implement coping skills and choosing love, I have made a coping skills bag. Really a glorified purse. But I keep tea, like Kava tea which is said to have very calming effects, anything the body might need to stay healthy during the work day such as chapstick so I don’t feel awkward when I try to smile. I keep a pair of headphones in case I need to close my eyes and take a stress break from work to just listen to one peaceful song fully and calm the body. I wear rings or necklaces to touch instead of squeezing myself when I am mad at myself. Sometimes when I feel invisible I also feel invisible to myself so actively making a bag of what would make life more enjoyable automates the process of self compassion, care and love. I mention this coping bag because it sounds like you are dealing with negativity at work so perhaps extra tender love and care is needed.

    I hope you share your thoughts and ideas here on tiny buddha so we can work it out together in the thread of choosing love!


    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Zeeza.
Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)