Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Choosing Love
- This topic has 134 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 1 month, 2 weeks ago by Tee.
March 15, 2019 at 10:30 am #284781AnonymousGuest
The way you explained it, it makes sense for you to not resurrect your old thread. As far as therapy goes, I would say if the therapist you saw was excellent, if you saw a big promise in her ability to help you, then maybe it would be worth the cost. I suppose she needs some time to learn about you, but she also needs to communicate to you what she believes to be your biggest challenge that needs to be attended first, and a plan of action toward tackling that challenge.
Going to talk therapy that consists of nothing more than you talking and she commenting here and there is not enough and definitely not worth lots of money, if any.
anitaMarch 15, 2019 at 10:38 am #284789MarkParticipant
As you pointed out, you don’t see much value with your current therapist because she does not offer input and just lets you unload. You also speculated that expressing your feelings may help in the short run but may not in the long term.
I second Anita’s suggestion on finding someone else that is more affordable.
Google Therapy For Every Budget or affordable therapy to find options.
MarkMarch 21, 2019 at 5:34 pm #285713
Anita and Mark, thank you. Also, thank you Mark for the suggestion. I will look into it. I am very sorry for not checking in sooner.
March 22, 2019 at 5:34 am #285777AnonymousGuest
- This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by Lisa.
You are welcome, Lisa. No time requirement for you posting here, as far as I am concerned, no apology needed. I hope you are well.
anitaApril 7, 2019 at 12:50 pm #287987
My eating consists of Breakfast Lunch and Dinner and I sit down for all three. I have been doing very well and have a lot more energy. I am also following an eating disorder app that has helped me before and is really helping me again. It covers all eating disorders. Mine is emotional eating.
I have also rewritten my goals again. So many to work on but I am trying to consolidate. Whenever I get the urge to binge I think of what that keeps me away from and it has kept me in check. I am not starving myself. I am being extremely mindful of my choices and no junk food. I am also trying to make everything myself so not to rely on processed food. Drinking water too!
I am not sure if I shared this before but I have an even bigger obstacle in something called maladaptive daydreaming. I have been relying on this since I was around 12 years. Anyone who knows how old I am knows how long I have been using this coping mechanism. I am completely aware of what is real and what is not so it’s not delusional. I have however used this as a way of coping with my situation.
I do not engage in maladaptive daydreaming when I am with other people but a great deal of my time is spent on it. This is a challenge because I have become quite accustomed to it.
Well anyway, feeling good about mu eating habits right now.April 8, 2019 at 8:18 am #288045AnonymousGuest
Well done on your eating habits. I hope you continue.
Maladaptive daydreaming is a recently coined term, I think. But I am familiar with the experience as I daydreamed all day long for years, mostly as a teenager. I had a story in my head that kept going and going and going, an alternative life, removed from what was the here-and-now for me.
I think that later on reading books took the place of that daydreaming, sinking into the (non fiction, mostly) story I read, disappearing for hours from my here-and-now life.
In fantasy, or in someone else’s story, lots of things happen and we don’t have to wait through boring times. If we want love (and I did), there were ongoing love stories I involved myself in, all fantasy. Things happened quickly, and I felt them, I felt the things that… weren’t really happening. I have a smile on my face as I remember.
anitaNovember 26, 2019 at 7:46 pm #324743
I wanted so badly for this to be a positive thread and I swore I wouldn’t post unless I could be positive but all that happened is for me not to be able to post for over 7 months.
I am so depressed right now and the bullies are right there with thier smiles and happy to see me sad. The worst part is the good people that love me somehow support these bullies.
I used to think that who you were inside is what made you succeed in life but that is not true. It is charming the right people and….
Everyone that loves me….something always prevents them from spending time with me but people who bully me always seem to involved with me beyond my control and the people that love me dont see or think that these people bully me because the behaive differently around them.
I am sad. I have had a couple traumas in the last couple months and I do not know whom to turn to.November 27, 2019 at 7:30 am #324819AnonymousGuest
Welcome back! I thought about you recently, and here you are, glad you are back.
We adults keep re-experiencing our childhoods way into old age. Unless we learn and become aware of what really happened during those early years of our lives and look at our current lives with wide open eyes, seeing things we didn’t see before.
Our lives as is, as adults, is like a picture. When we keep living our childhoods, it is like we only see a corner of the picture of your current lives. Becoming aware and learning, is like expanding our view so we can see beyond that one corner of the picture.
Do post again anytime, Lisa. You don’t have to be positive. Be you. Being you is good enough!
anitaDecember 31, 2019 at 9:36 am #330475AnonymousGuest
Happy New Year, Lisa !
anitaJanuary 21, 2020 at 7:39 pm #334482
Happy New Year AnitaJanuary 22, 2020 at 8:06 am #334520AnonymousGuest
Thank you, good to read from you! Remember you can post here anytime, or start a new thread. I will be glad to read from you and reply whenever you choose to post, if you do.
anitaFebruary 9, 2020 at 2:29 pm #337332
Oh dear, I tried to make my above post visible and I am not doing a good job. I have to work everything out on my own. Somewhere out there is someone who feels everything is falling apart but people around them are with them. Making them dinner. Asking them to go on a walk. People think they are strong. They think I should be as strong as those that are loved.February 9, 2020 at 9:49 pm #337366ZeezaParticipant
Dear Lisa you aren’t invisible to me,
You are strong as I understand it is courageous to choose love and that is strength.
Hi, I am new to this thread but I hope it is ok if I join this path with all of you of Choosing Love.
What does compassion truly mean? Compassion is vital for love and as I have grown to understand, self-compassion is being gently aware of what one is experiencing. It sounds like people aren’t respecting you but this doesn’t change the fact that you do belong.
Whenever I feel angry at myself for feeling worthless, or watching other people happy together wondering why am I alone? what is wrong with me? I try to breathe and realize that energy flows where attention goes. I try my best to focus all my energy in what I do love. My pets. I know they love me for me (that and I give them all the foods!) I will never be invisible or not enough for my fur babies. Do you enjoy animals? have you considered having a therapy pet?
As I am trying to implement coping skills and choosing love, I have made a coping skills bag. Really a glorified purse. But I keep tea, like Kava tea which is said to have very calming effects, anything the body might need to stay healthy during the work day such as chapstick so I don’t feel awkward when I try to smile. I keep a pair of headphones in case I need to close my eyes and take a stress break from work to just listen to one peaceful song fully and calm the body. I wear rings or necklaces to touch instead of squeezing myself when I am mad at myself. Sometimes when I feel invisible I also feel invisible to myself so actively making a bag of what would make life more enjoyable automates the process of self compassion, care and love. I mention this coping bag because it sounds like you are dealing with negativity at work so perhaps extra tender love and care is needed.
I hope you share your thoughts and ideas here on tiny buddha so we can work it out together in the thread of choosing love!
February 10, 2020 at 9:03 am #337414AnonymousGuest
- This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Zeeza.
We communicated on and off since May 2017. You were always gracious in your two threads with every member who answered you: you addressed each member by name, thanked them for their input, expressed empathy to members who expressed their pain to you, and wished them well.
When you shared about your past, you expressed yourself well, sometimes writing like a poet, expressing yourself in a unique, creative way. There are sentences you wrote that I still remember, like you being an artist that doesn’t draw, a writer who doesn’t write (this is probably not your exact words).
In your post yesterday, you wrote: “People only talk to me when no one else is around”, suggesting that they are ashamed to be seen talking to you, if I understand correctly.
Why do you think people are ashamed to be seen talking to you, is it something about the way you look or the way you behave?
anitaFebruary 12, 2020 at 2:08 am #337742
Zeeza and Anita I will answer shortly. I am sorry to just be getting back to you..Thank you both for your posts. I will be able to respond in a few hours.