Home→Forums→Relationships→Anxiety in a Great Relationship
- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 6 months ago by marrriee.
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May 27, 2019 at 6:08 am #295897ClaytonParticipant
Hello everyone,
I am in a peculiar situation. I found the girl of my dreams. She is 20 and I am 21, and for the past 6 months we have spent every single possible moment together laughing, loving, and becoming absolutely infatuated with one another. We would go to school during the day and run to one another as quickly as possible to spend all night talking about our ideas, our goals, and how perfect we are for each other. Both of us have never met someone so perfect for ourselves, and we do not fight or belittle one another. I feel like I found the person I want to spend my life with, and she feels the same way.
However, recently I have been feeling an anxiety that is making me act differently. I am constantly feeling like I am going to lose her at some point, and I cannot stop thinking about how awful and heartbroken I will be. I think about her with other men having sex in the future, and how free she will someday feel while I am withering in pain all alone. I have absolutely no logical reason to believe that this is true given how amazing things have been going, but these feelings make me nervous around her because i do not want this to happen, which in turn makes me act differently around her and makes the fear that she will leave me even stronger. She gives me strong reassurance sometimes out of nowhere in the form of saying things like “you’re amazing babe” or “I love you” or “I want to have your kids”, but pretty shortly after I go back to worrying about losing her. I do not know what to do, because I do not want to blow this amazing opportunity. I just want to go back to feeling the way I did for the first 95% of our relationship: I felt worry free and completely capable of being my full, loving self. I never felt uncomfortable or like I was not good enough for her (she is absolutely gorgeous and it is easy to feel like she’s too good for me). Please help, this is very painful :/.
May 27, 2019 at 7:11 am #295903InkyParticipantHi Clayton,
The reality is that statistically you ARE going to lose her after college. Most people don’t marry their college sweetheart. It takes having at least a couple serious relationships before you end up marrying. Statistically speaking.
Now, you could very well be one of the few that do end up marrying the college sweetheart. In every class there’s always a few that do.
But instead of fearing the probable, use that knowledge of statistics to give yourself permission to totally live in the present and love fearlessly and fully. Don’t lose anymore precious time living in worry.
Best,
Inky
May 27, 2019 at 8:59 am #295931AnonymousGuestDear Clayton:
Before responding to your current post I ask regarding previous threads: are you sleeping better, or is it still a few hours taking you to fall asleep because of your mind wandering and then waking up repeatedly during the night?
anita
May 28, 2019 at 10:48 pm #296211marrrieeParticipantHi Clayton,
Your relationship sounds so pure and wonderful from how you describe it. I know that when you think the the world of someone they become your entire world. As great of a thing as it may feel it can also feel scary if your world were to collapse. However, what you have to realize is that, if you were to lose her, you’ll be okay, even though you may not feel like it. And she’ll be okay too. It’s sad to think about it but it’s also relieving because what’s truly meant for you will find its way to you. But that hasn’t happened yet. So I say, enjoy yourself and take each day one day at a time. Don’t worry about it until it happens. If it does, then she wasn’t for you. Maybe bring some of the focus back on yourself, your hobbies, your skills, your friends. Realize that if she isn’t there anymore you’ll still have all these amazing things waiting for you!
Let me know if you need someone to talk to,
Marie
Insta @sorcell_ca
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