July 18, 2019 at 12:27 pm #303819
There’s lots of talk on the internet these days about Ascension energy. It’s made out by gurus to be a good thing. It isnt, it is evil. Ascension will destroy your mind. It will kill everything you love and turn you into a zombie. It will cause terrible feelings of anger and hatred.
It’s my belief that Ascension presents a terrible threat to humanity in the form of a global suicide epidemic. It is pure fucking poison, a mind parasite that essentially performs a prolonged and ongoing trepanning operation on your brain, slowing crushing ones spirit and the ability to fight back, until one ultimately gives up. I know this because I have been fighting it for six years, only now reaching the point of utter exhaustion. It has crushed my will. It has killed the things I used to love doing, and wrecked any faith I had in God. For I know that the latter is a joke: there is no ‘loving God’, no ‘Jesus saviour’. In their stead are extra terrestrials, and they have more in common with Josef Mengele than ‘Jesus’. Like Mengele, they are unconcerned with the pain and suffering they cause, only the outcomes. They are cruel, but their cruelty at least explains the inherent suffering in this world.
I will soon be a zombie. All the beautiful, pleasant things in life gone, to be replaced by brain fog, head muzziness, shattering fatigue and confusion. This is Ascension, and there is nothing good or blissful about it.
TannhauserJuly 20, 2019 at 10:28 am #304119
I can’t pretend to know what you are talking about.
You are the one that chooses what to believe and perhaps you’ve let yourself be influenced in the wrong way. For the most part, we don’t know what exists beyond this planet so why speculate? You don’t have to have a religion – people get by fine without one. The truth stands up to questioning.
Are you really going to be controlled in this way? Who or what do you think you are fighting? Switch the machine off and go out and reconnect with the beauty found in nature, your passions, family and friends.
You decide for yourself what to believe in. My advice to you is to stop being such a willing victim. Go out and smell the roses.
PeggyJuly 20, 2019 at 10:30 am #304121
Get stuffed.July 20, 2019 at 2:14 pm #304151
And another thing, you might like to consider improving your manners. Thank you would have been sufficient. Have a nice life.
PeggyJuly 20, 2019 at 3:31 pm #304163
Why would I thank you? You offered nothing constructive or helpful to say, hence my abrupt reply. I didn’t need a lecture.
Play hardball and I will do the same.
Tannhauser.July 20, 2019 at 11:26 pm #304187
What does the word “Forum” mean to you. You’ve put a post out to the Universe and then you complain when someone replies in a manner that YOU don’t like. I shared my opinion with you and aired my views. Don’t blame me that you’ve allowed yourself to become hogwashed. You might call your reply abrupt – I call it ignorant. If you don’t think there was anything constructive in my post, you haven’t read it properly. You can’t even figure out why you would need to thank me! Poor you!
PeggyJuly 22, 2019 at 11:16 am #304367
From your previous threads: “I have hypopituitarism.. damaged anterior gland and probable olfactory bulb damage.. low growth hormone levels and low testosterone levels… infertility.. I have osteoporosis… I have never met anyone of the opposite sex. I have been single since birth due to the hypopituitarism which has blighted my life… I had spent five years on dialysis surrounded by death and then I went through a kidney transplant at the end of it”-
You were born in 1970. At about the age of 37 you started dialysis, 2007-2012. At the age of 42 you received a kidney transplant and are on daily medications before and ever since. You are unemployed, on disability benefits, estranged from the Catholic church that was somewhat your home for many years and is no longer.
You wrote to me April 2017: “If I could describe to you how this all feels, I would ask you to go on You Tube and watch Bad Dream by Keane. Listen carefully to the words, they sum up my situation to perfection”. I googled Bad Dream today. I am making a short paragraph out of the lyrics:
“I wake up, it’s a bad dream. No one on my side. I was fighting, but I just feel too tired to be fighting. Guess I’m not the fighting kind. In a better time you could be my friend. Wouldn’t mind it if you were by my side.
April 19, 2017 you wrote: “I am mentally ill, and my tactile hallucinations are driving me up the wall… Why do I believe I was experiencing something spiritual when in reality it is mental illness?”
April 28, 2017: “no one is on my wavelength, so I have taken to creating my own world instead”.
Back to the lyrics: “In a better time you could be my friend. Wouldn’t mind it if you were by my side”- I wouldn’t have minded being your friend, being by your side. If I lived anywhere close to where you live. I would visit you, hold your hand. Maybe read to you about the gods of ancient times, those which you talked about here over the years, so that you can rest, eyes closed as I read to you.
I would visit you, maybe twice a week. Not as someone volunteering their time for the less fortunate, no- that would be arrogant on my part, and perhaps humiliating to you.
I would be there by your side as a fellow human being who like you, knows how it feels to suffer alone, day in and day out, for what feels like eternity. While visiting with you, I would feel that together we make it better for each other.
Please don’t hate me, Tannhauser, for typing these things, don’t tell me to f** off or such thing. What I typed here is from my heart. Don’t use my words against me, to hurt me. Ignore it all if you want (that will be okay with me, truly), but don’t try to hurt me.
July 22, 2019 at 2:21 pm #304399
My life reads like a train wreck don’t it? But it’s all true, and I can’t argue with a single word you have said. In fact, your words almost brought me to tears. I try to live with this new reality, but I get nostalgic for the past.
If there is a divine being out there, and I strongly believe there might be, it does not want to be known. It has allowed several cognitive dissonances to come between it and humans. Firstly, there’s the question of belief itself, and then if you get past that, there is the dissonance between the divine being’s true nature and its false judgemental nature as espoused by religion. No wonder that there is an increase in atheism, it simply makes more sense not to tax the brain with dichotomies it need not bother with.
I am a big fan of Keane. They made some great albums. Tom Chaplin has a fantastic voice.
It’s true I started to create my own world, but of late I have just taken to retreating to the shed to paint and sketch. I still don’t know why I’m here; I still feel second class because I’m on benefits. I don’t suppose that feeling will ever go away. I also feel quite isolated at times. I wish I could meet with someone like yourself, but in this one-horse town, such a thing is practically impossible.
Thanks for your help.
TannhauserJuly 23, 2019 at 7:07 am #304471
When I noticed yesterday that you replied following my post to you, before I read your reply, I felt tense, afraid your reply will be somewhat aggressive. I then lost the internet and when I got it back, scrolling down to your thread, I felt a surprising calm. The calm was following the thought that regardless of the nature of your reply, I knew that there was absolutely nothing but sincerity in my post to you, true empathy, or .. a meeting of the hearts, on my end.
Using your words yesterday (regarding religion), there was no dissonance or judgmental nature, or dichotomies in my feelings and words in my last post to you.
The lyrics Bad Dream by Keane made me see you as a lonely man, just like I have been for decades, life did feel like a bad dream to me too, and there was no one by my side either. I still feel that despair, part of many days, although my quality of emotional life is much improved from what it was.
“My life reads like a train wreck don’t it?”- not that you were or are the train rushing into a crash- you were on the tracks through no fault of your own and then hit by a train repeatedly- the medical hits, being on dialysis for five whole years and then going through a kidney transplant are two of such hits.
You are not “second class” because you are on benefits, if I may say so. You were hit by a train, nothing you did to make that happen. Of course you need some help, and way more than you are getting.
I wish you had a fully functioning body, kidneys, hormones, bones, all functional and well. But these dysfunctions don’t make you less than.
anitaJuly 23, 2019 at 12:11 pm #304531
Thanks for your kind words anita.
From my perspective I have realised what an utter sham and a farce this life is, with people going around trying to fit the roles society expects from them, prostituting and prostrating themselves before the machine of Capitalism, in the hope they will be allowed to work so that they can continue as a cog in the capitalist system to prevent the loss of their home, car, spouse, or children’s education, and to be given the privilege of not starving to death. This life is not a dream, it is a terrible, terrible nightmare. A nightmare which can only be lived through by people who are totally unaware of it. This life is also NOT free. Ask any homeless person. Such people are unable to even wash in public toilets in case they are arrested or moved on by the police. They can’t even wash in the river because most of the land is privately owned.
My dysfunctions will always make me a burden and a nuisance to the capitalist system. And I will always think like that because they have convinced me that’s what the system thinks of me. The British Government has been hounding the sick and disabled for several years now. The British Government has put 8.000 sick and disabled people in their graves, stripped autistic children of their schools, removed free transport from children with cerebral palsy, and has deliberately made people homeless by putting them in arrears with their landlords. This is a disgusting world, and if ‘God’ created it, then He/She/It or whatever the fuck it calls itself, is truly evil.
TannhauserJuly 23, 2019 at 1:07 pm #304539
If I had any political power, any financial power in the world, I would have studied financial and political topics thoroughly, and I would have done all possible to make things just and right in the world. But I have no such powers.
“My dysfunction will always make me a burden and a nuisance to the capitalist system… that’s what the system thinks of me”- a system doesn’t think. And people behind the system who are cruel, selfish, corrupt… it doesn’t matter what they think. As to what they do, well, I wish there was something I could do to make a difference in how a government/ political system works.
And so, Tannhauser, I can communicate with you only on topics on which I have some understanding, which are topics I that I can possibly do something about.
July 26, 2019 at 9:54 am #305015
- This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by anita.
My ‘Christian’ faith finally fell apart this afternoon. It was exacerbated by what happened yesterday. I am still involved with church, though I really want to leave if im honest. (I tried to leave before Easter but was given a rough time by my family for it.)
I have been doing the classic thing which many Christians do before they ultimately become complete atheists: I increased my devotional level to the max, going to weekday mass and saying the Rosary as well. Though it wasnt doing anything for me I tried to persevere……until yesterday when a so-called Christian made fun of the way I walk. (I have osteoporosis and curvature of the spine with a 26% risk of fracture). I stood open-mouthed in the church porch as he mimicked my gait, and I couldn’t understand why he was doing it. He was just being mean.
I have seen right through church like a pane of glass. It is all a sham. Some of the biggest arseholes I have come across in life have been connected with churches: mockers, scoffers, liars and paedophiles (two of the latter).
I’m officially faithless now.
TannhauserJuly 26, 2019 at 11:05 am #305029
I am so sorry that mean person made fun of the way you walk, how rude, how very, very unkind! I wish that didn’t happen. Did you say anything to him. In your various threads you haven’t been shy using the f*^* word. I don’t like you using it here, I really don’t. But in church, aimed at the person mocking you, as he was doing that, with no one there that stopped him- that would have been the time and place to articulate that word loud and clear.
anitaJuly 26, 2019 at 11:27 am #305041
I didn’t say anything anita. I was just shocked. This man had spent the previous 20 minutes saying the Rosary along with everyone else. It clearly had no effect on him whatsoever.
TannhauserJuly 26, 2019 at 12:07 pm #305055
If the church where this took place operated like it is supposed to, that man wouldn’t have mocked you, and if he did, the people observing would have shamed him right there and then, and made sure he apologized profusely to you and made amends to you. But none of that happened.