Home→Forums→Tough Times→Bad parents
- This topic has 103 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 2 months ago by anita.
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January 18, 2023 at 7:22 am #414074MinaParticipant
I have type 2 diabetes. I was obese because of medicine. Depression due to marriage.
January 18, 2023 at 7:24 am #414075MinaParticipantHe says I have to take medicine till I die.
January 18, 2023 at 7:27 am #414076MinaParticipantWhen i was diagnosed with this illness I started reading about it to reduce weight also. I decided to live helping my parents. But they say no to gardening, tailoring studying job. Why am I living. They say u have illness don’t do any of the above. Then my mom suggests getting married again.
January 18, 2023 at 7:30 am #414077MinaParticipantMy husband had taken away my passport. He used to ask me for money and his mother I’ll treated me.
January 18, 2023 at 7:47 am #414078AnonymousGuestDear Mina:
“They say no to gardening, tailoring, studying, job“- your parents are wrong for saying No to these things! You wrote that your mother did not allow you to go for a walk on the nature walk. Do your parents stop you from any and all kinds of physical exercise? Are you supposed to stay inside the home all day and do nothing at all?
“Then my mom suggests getting married again“- and again, she is wrong for suggesting this. Why do you think she’s suggesting this, what is her motivation?
“Doctor says schizophrenia another one said depression. They are recommended by my mother relative“- I think that you should see a competent, reputable psychiatrist- without your parents’ knowledge, a psychiatrist that has no connection to your family, and seek a correct diagnosis, whatever it may be.
“My husband.. used to ask me for money and his mother I’ll treated me“- I didn’t understand this sentence: did his mother treat you…?
One more thing, you mentioned earlier that you worked and spent the money you earned on your mother. Is working and earning money still a possibility for you?
anita
January 18, 2023 at 8:40 am #414081MinaParticipantI dont know where to begin and end. What is the whole purpose? I’m 40 I have seen so much downfall now to start all over again with nothing. This is how I lived my first half life unknowingly now knowingly.
What will I get? I’m tired. I can’t fight any more. I have done enough motivation thing till 36 now at 40 again start with job. Anita help me please.
January 18, 2023 at 9:00 am #414082AnonymousGuestDear Mina:
Your fighting will be worth it if you fight smart. Your situation reminds me of the title of a movie: “Living with the Enemy”. I identified with the title at the time because I used to live with my own personal enemy: my mother. It is difficult to think of one’s own mother as an enemy, but in practice- this is exactly what my mother has been to me.
And so, when I say that your fighting will be worth it if you fight smart, I mean that the first part of your fighting has to be to find a way to live far aware from your personal enemy: the woman who mocks you and who is making and keeping you sick. Once you find that way, you need to never go back to her again. And because your parents support each other in the ways they treat you (notice the title of this thread, “Bad parents“), you will need to have no contact with the two of them.
If, on the other hand, you fight for yourself but stay living-with-the-enemy, then.. your fighting will be useless, wouldn’t it?
anita
January 18, 2023 at 9:09 am #414083MinaParticipantI used to get up at 4 in the morning till college. In below 0 temperature I have lived. I used to work without lunch and leave in office. Why nobody said anything even though I kept asking for help. My mom used to not give breakfast when I was growing up not even tea. I used to eat sweets and junk food. I was a kind person never showing off helping people the way I could. I used to invite friends home they wouldn’t come. I have to tell you Anita that I feel there is so much to learn. But when I started training in math my mom mocked me I kept doing then when I went to shops people would quote more for vegetables and fruits.
January 18, 2023 at 9:14 am #414084MinaParticipantMy brother stays abroad.
My father said get out if you can and start all over again or listen to us stay.
I’m scared. What about safety?
January 18, 2023 at 9:24 am #414086AnonymousGuestDear Mina:
“What about safety?“- when you live with the enemy, it is the home where you live that is not safe. In my life, after I left my mother/ home, I found out that in comparison- the world outside was safer for me than the world inside the home.
Of course, do take precautions outside the home, but do leave; find a way to leave and make your life outside as safe as possible.
anita
January 18, 2023 at 7:30 pm #414100MinaParticipantAnita, when I was in school and office nobody warned me even though I asked. What are the other options that I have till I leave?
January 18, 2023 at 7:40 pm #414101MinaParticipantI feel so angry at everyone for enjoying my helpless condition. Now I have no money no good education no body that too at this age. How do I go about doing this? When I tried leaving my house tan year back my parents put me in rehabilitation and have taken away my phone. It is all confusing.
January 18, 2023 at 7:52 pm #414102AnonymousGuestDear Mina:
I Will be able to read and reply to you Thurs morning (in about 11 hours from now). Please feel comfortable to post as many times as you want before I return to your thread.
anita
January 19, 2023 at 6:28 am #414110AnonymousGuestDear Mina:
You wrote: “I feel so angry at everyone for enjoying my helpless condition“- in what ways does your mother enjoy your helpless condition: what does she say and do that makes it clear to you that she is enjoying your condition?
Can you answer the same question in regard to your father and other people in your life?
anita
January 19, 2023 at 6:56 am #414112MinaParticipantCan you suggest some ways to remove stress?
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