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Befriending my EGO

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  • #59048
    Danny
    Participant

    Hello fellow travelers of the journey called life πŸ™‚
    (I’m from the Netherlands, sorry for my spelling errors)
    I would like to discuss the usefullness of our ego and what to do with it.

    I always had an obession with our conscious mind. For some reason it did’t fit the material world in my opinion.
    Now the doctors that try curing me from my consciousness and free will.
    Accidently learned me that i’ve been more conscious of life than most in my surroundings.
    I spoke whole scentenses when i was just 9 month old.

    Now i’m 26 and the last years i’ve been on a major discovery about mine and others there existence.
    When i was young, groing up in a so called atheist community. People of influence in my childhood years always convinced me that the existence of the universe and al its power and wisdom is just a act of coincendences. (the big boom :P)

    groing up i accepted that filosophie, what i always thougt was true.
    From that perspective i realised that if that was true and this material realitie is the ultimate, then i could conclude that my conscious mind is just an illusion.
    And since life started of in bacterial form it told me that we are nothing more that evolved insects with no couse to life.

    So most of my conscious childhood years i grew up in a lot of darkness with the end being you’re consciousness ending up into the eternal darkness of death. So i always felt so small with more limits and boundry’s than actual potential.
    But i always secretly kept believing in something more beautiful than the power of money. Only i learned to keep it to myself since people who believe this is it, and the power of money can break or make you, and if you want “anything” out of life, you should invest you’re youth into getting a job? (I’m uneducated, constantly smiling, and i recieve 15$ an hour working inbetween the Polish people doing jobs the Dutch don’t wanna do becouse its below there level)
    So i personally debunkt the reasons teachers used to motivate me.

    So getting to my ego point.
    I always liked spending time with people, especialy 1 on 1. So it is easy for me to create some kind of comfort zone between us allowing people to show me a little of the true them πŸ™‚
    And being able to see the human/weak/loving/soul side of a living being always like; Filled the dark hole inside me with all the colors and beauty the world has to offer. like mother nature giving you a hug of aproval, i just can’t explain.
    I can only get 1 conclusion out of it, that is: we are all the same, all part of something beautiful hidden somewhere in plain sight πŸ™‚ A true genioune connection, personally there is nothing more beautful then that πŸ™‚ unity

    And always i tried to get interesting people seperate to see why they are so interesting.
    Also i wonderd why people are so different alone then i a group.

    That’s where the EGO came in.

    When i look at people in the big picture, what i see is this:
    7 billion scared little children looking for there mommy πŸ™‚ someone to tell that is allright and that you are loved πŸ™‚

    And in this judgmental world we live in we need something to protect us from negative feelings,
    And i must say, my ego always fought for denial. I respect my ego for that, couse nothing or nobody has tried so mutch to protect me from “the judgement”

    So i focussed on what we people have in common. Not in who we are, but in what we want.
    (we are humans, we like trouble and free will. Adam en Eve did eat that forbidden fruit right? So the creation of our free wil was accomplish πŸ˜› and god saw that it was good) Just a bible joke, no disrespect. There is wisdom in the bible that can only be attained by experiencing live. besides the god stuff it’s a very good guide on how to life peacefully.)

    So what we all want (i think, please disagree if you want)

    We want to be accepted as part of the whole.
    We want to be loved as part of the whole.
    We want to be as part of the whole.
    We want the room to make mistakes and expend our wisdom.
    We want the room to judge ourself when the time comes.

    And i noticed that if i get judged people take away these statements above.
    You gotta agree is pretty scary, couse 1 singel judgement can cause you to doubt the value of your existence.

    Becouse if nature created us, or god. becouse we know there is intelligence hidden everywhere.
    So by judging you tell people that there existence is just a error.
    meaning that in the perfect world you should not have existed, becouse you are a mistake.

    And turning it around, i noticed that the people judging me usually feel that way about themselfs.
    But feeling like that is just a severe depression, and the ego keeps you out of it.

    So in my eyes the ego is you’re fisical protector that protects you from outside influence while you’re unconscious mind remembers the information, so you can deal with life step by step without jumping of a cliff, couse our ego helps us to control the intesity of reality hitting our inner self πŸ™‚

    So in my point of view we should have more respect for our underapreciated ego and have more understanding an patience with the people who are still being controlled by there ego.
    So the fact that people are hiding behind an ego it a sign of wisdom overload and critisism about these people will only grow there ego.

    So i think people who can find themselfs in my story bear a great responsibilty towards people with the ego, and we need to reach out. Couse a human can only judge itself πŸ™‚

    Thanks for reading. Danny

    #59062
    Noek
    Participant

    Hey Danny,

    This was very enlightening. I have been struggling with my Ego lately, i believe it’s from all the wisdom overload i have about Ego-Death. When you spoke about hiding behind your Ego, and allowing your Ego to run you is what’s happening to me. I deny my Ego, because i see how it affects others. I’m scared that i will end up wanting this and that and having authority over others, treating them like peasants. I have potential, but i need the Ego. I want to have my Ego, but have it balanced and in the mystic light of a sparkling crystal.

    #59097
    John
    Participant

    I have some thoughts on this.

    The term ‘ego’ seems to be repeatedly incorrectly tagged as something bad. I believe ego just means ‘sense of self’.

    There’s nothing wrong or damaging about the ego at it’s core.

    It’s our inflated ego which can get us into trouble. Thinking ourselves more (or less) than what we truly are.

    Not to say that knowing when the ego is inflated is an easy task. It’s that whole ‘what we truly are’ part being the trick.

    So let’s start with the ego not being a bad thing, but a good thing. It’s good to have a sense of your self.

    The next step, I believe, is figuring out who/what you are.

    Then I pose this question.

    If we are ‘just’ made of physical materials, and our mind/consciousness is ‘just’ an illusion, born from our brains, is that such a bad or depressing thing?

    Chew on that for a bit.

    If that is true, then that means that the physical laws of the cosmos has provided itself with self awareness (us). How remarkable is that? And WE are a part of it.

    ‘we are nothing more that evolved insects with no couse to life.’

    I suggest you look closer at what it means to be a living creature. Consider the odds of you (or anyone else) alive at all. You are the result of a specific sperm/egg combo. If it was the next sperm over to your left/right (George/Betty) that got in, you (ok depending on your religious beliefs) would not have existed at all. What this means, to me, is that being alive is like having won the ultimate lottery. All of the events which had to line up for you or me to be here is incomprehensible.

    No cause to life? I’m guessing you mean ‘no reason to live’? Is that an accurate interpretation of what you wrote?
    If it is, then I suggest you consider that consequence as well.

    Let’s say you have two options…
    a) the universe has a plan for you, to live a certain life, make certain choices, fulfill a specific plan.
    b) the universe exists but there is no plan for you. It’s your choice to spend life as you see fit. ***You develop your own meaning.***

    Which universe would you rather live in?

    I’ll take option ‘b’ every time.

    There seems to be a lot to address in your message, but wanted to hit on the topics of ego, being alive, and free will.

    I don’t claim to know everything, or much at all. I am just suggesting that you look at these topics in a new light. Ego, ‘just’ being alive, meaningless universe… these are actually good things.

    #59121
    Mike
    Participant

    I think you have a really interesting thing going, I would like to add to. If a person completely detaches themselves from their ego they will do nothing! The ego drives us to fulfill desires, whether or not they are for their own sake. Sometimes our ego causes us to do things that are only meant to prop a weak ego up, othertimes the ego can be the driver of great things. Human’s are indeed driven by Ego, when this is done unknowingly it is dangerous. We look at organized religions and see how many precious egos are involved and we see why there is violence surrounding things that should not be surrounded by egos, yet we see people doing great things and this too is the ego. The ego is like a burning fire, uncontained it consumes everything that is combustible. If the ego though is contained and managed and understood, then a person can do great things, because that fear of being wrong or failing is gone. The ego can be involved in everything a person does through out their day and their life and they may never know. When they are cut off in traffic and must speed up in order to let the person have it, it is their ego. A great work of art that changes the people see the world is done because of the ego, but also in spite of it. Anything we do that is driven by the ego, can also cause us great damage to that ego if it fails. The ego need not be ignored, the ego should be understood. If it is understood then there is no reason to allow another’s judgment cause a person to question their own existence.

    The fact that man sees himself above other animals is a testament to his ego. Some think that all that there is was created for man, that is ego of another kind. Creationism is a human ego centric ideal, why must humans have souls that live on forever but other animals do not. Why not do what is right for its own sake? The philosophical question, which is better doing something that is right for its own sake and not needing to be acknowledged for it? Or doing something that is right because it has been labeled as right and there is some type of acknowledgement for it? Should we always be rewarded for doing right? Religion often puts something over a person’s head as to why they should do right, like God is judging. What if God is not watching? My ego drives me to do right, because there is guilt for no doing right, not because of what a religion has told me about God, but because of my own philosophy of life.

    If the ego is understood, we can interpret every thought and desire that crosses our minds and make a determination as to what the ego is trying to convey and why. We can understand why others do what they do, why they must judge others. Right now as I type I realize that it is my ego causing me to type, because I have a drive to put my ideas out there. If someone comes along and says what I have written is garbage, I need only detach myself from ego and understand that me feeling hurt is a ego response, but they disagreeing with what I have said in a hurtful way is an ego response as well. People judge others always based on ego, whether or not they are following some religion or not. If someone says that what you are is wrong and that you should change and be something else, then they are saying that you should be like THEM because they are right. It is a strong ego, based a belief they hold that they got from somewhere. I do like some of the things Jesus says in the New testament, I get a sense that he was more aware than anyone else during that time. But if I read various philosophers that were alive before, during or after his time up to now I also see people that have great understandings. I say Jesus because Christianity is a major world religion, but people don’t realize that Jesus didn’t create Christianity those who came after him did in his name thus allowing their Egos to poison the true story. Buddha made great contributions as well. How many possible contributions to our world could there have been had not the human ego destroyed through war and hatred. During war, warriors go through and destroy anything and everything that has cultural or religious value. So how many great philosophers were killed and their ideas burned that we will never know about all in the name of someone’s Ego? Caesar? Genghis Khan? Hitler? Stalin?

    If we look out into the world we will see that everything is the way it is, nothing is perfect, yet it is here and it is perfect in that way! I look at a tree growing naturally I do not see perfection I see something perfectly imperfect. Each one being different, yet beautiful. There is nothing in the tree saying that it must be as good or better than the tree next to it, it just does its thing and flourishes if the conditions are right. The universe doesn’t operate on laws of perfection, rather they operate by the laws of chaos. We have finally been able to really see the universe and all around our solar system we see just how chaotic and destructive things are. When we look at things at the atomic level, we see how imperfect and unpredictable things are. With all this imperfection and chaos going on around us, it is a wonder that our egos still hold ourselves, others, and God to such high standards of perfection. If you were to take a deck of cards, shuffle them and throw them up in the air and then looked at how they fell, the odds of them being in order is an almost incomprehensible number. The odds of a universe such as ours existing is an incomprehensible number, why allow our egos to take away from such a beautiful and mysterious event that we are a part of. It is something we will never understand! Why we must be so hard on each other is beyond me to infinite.

    I am really sorry if I got off track, just kind of went where my thoughts took me!

    #59444
    kapil
    Participant

    If we look out into the world we will see that everything is the way it is, nothing is perfect, yet it is here and it is perfect in that way! I look at a tree growing naturally I do not see perfection I see something perfectly imperfect. Each one being different, yet beautiful. There is nothing in the tree saying that it must be as good or better than the tree next to it, it just does its thing and flourishes if the conditions are right. The universe doesn’t operate on laws of perfection, rather they operate by the laws of chaos. We have finally been able to really see the universe and all around our solar system we see just how chaotic and destructive things are. When we look at things at the atomic level, we see how imperfect and unpredictable things are. With all this imperfection and chaos going on around us, it is a wonder that our egos still hold ourselves, others, and God to such high standards of perfection. If you were to take a deck of cards, shuffle them and throw them up in the air and then looked at how they fell, the odds of them being in order is an almost incomprehensible number. The odds of a universe such as ours existing is an incomprehensible number, why allow our egos to take away from such a beautiful and mysterious event that we are a part of. It is something we will never understand! Why we must be so hard on each other is beyond me to infinite.

    #59479
    Natasha
    Participant

    I really love this thread! Thanks everyone! OP – I think the adventure your mind and thoughts take is wonderful! It looks like your thought adventure brings out the best in other people’s adventures too. I hope to hear more from all of you. This was fun.

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