You arent stupid! Its not uncommon after some years pass and people have an opportunity to put space between a situation they will attempt to reach out to build some mutual ground and maybe finally get some closure. You both say you’re sorry’s and attempt to keep in touch. As will said this person was a big part of your life for some segment of it. I dont understand people who just completly cut out their ex’s all together. This usually says more about them, their inability to let go, get over it, and not hold grudges. Im not sure how the relationship ended. What it seems you’re going through here is another case of unrealized expectations. You put yourself out there expecting XYZ result. He didnt give it to you, now you’re upset and feel silly. Hey girl! let me tell you, you did what you felt whatever it was you needed to by reaching out, and thats great. You cant control how he will react to it. Nor can you assume to know whats going through his mind or his reasons for not wanting to give a # out. My advice is if you really want to re-connect in a plutonic way with this person. Let that be your only expectation, and be happy and open to whatever it is he is willing to give you in return. Also communication is important, always. Have you told him why you didnt reply in the past? have you told him why its important to you now to keep in touch? This may serve to clear up any assumption he is making as to why all of a sudden he is hearing from you, when his attempts in the past went unanswered.

I agree, Hyo. A sharp knife cuts cleanest. In my case, I’ve generally felt it’s important to put significant distance between me and my exes (in most cases, no contact at all). I have reconnected after several years with an old flame and we are now friends, but it’s an exception for me. I don’t think it’s fair to judge anyone for the way they choose to end a relationship and heal.