- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 months, 1 week ago by Helcat.
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October 27, 2024 at 3:44 pm #438991omykParticipant
Hello – I have posted here before. Things are going much better for me these days, and wisdom from some of the folks here has been helpful. I am back because I want to take a big step. I have been widowed for over three years, and after some super tough times that yielded learning (about me), I have a sense of purpose. I am moving in that direction now, really embracing ministry, while still working full-time and raising my child. I moved into a new house two years ago and have a strong desire to unload some of the things I brought with me. I have several bins and bags of stuff. A lot of it belonged to my late wife. I’m not at all decorative, but I feel like I’m hanging on to a lot of this stuff for no real reason at all. This includes loads of photos, many of them in frames. I guarantee that most of them will remain in the plastic bins, and I guess that’s fine, but I want to make my space more efficient, and one way of doing that is inventory management – some stuff out, to make storage space for things I actually use.
I have a two-part dilemma. One is keeping things my child might want to look at down the road. I have shown the child, and they are completely uninterested. Not hostile or irritated, but I suspect they would never open the bin to see what’s in there – we have been through this a few times now. The second is time. With one full-time job and a second part-time, I have maybe 1-2 hours a week to go through stuff. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for my own enjoyment. I am wondering about hiring someone who organizes space for a living. I think I’d like that. Does anyone have any experience with this?
I already have the things that are emotional attachments for me. Yes, I am still attached to my wife and suspect that will remain the case for some time. But I’m not at all attached to a lot of the stuff she kept. And I have pretty much been through it all. I welcome your thoughts and, as always, wish everyone here well.
October 28, 2024 at 9:00 am #439000anitaParticipantDear Omyk:
Thank you for wishing everyone here well, and good to read from you again!
You were widowed 3 years ago, moved to a new house 2 years ago, and currently, you have “a strong desire” (your words) to declutter your house, to remove bins and bags of your late wife’s belongings, including loads of photos. Your teenage child has shown no interest in the belongings. (I find it interesting, that your teenage child has shown no interest in keeping his/ her mother’s/ parents’ many photos..?)
As the head of the household, and the only adult in the house, you are in charge and I think that it’s fine for you to unload any and all belongings that are not needed or wanted. Hiring someone to do the work reads like a good idea to me. I just looked it up: professional organizers or declutter coaches is what they are called. Their job is (I am looking at glad. com/ teachable trash/ tips for decluttering your home) to go through your belongings and, according to your instructions, place your belongings in different categories: Trash, Give Away/ Sell, Storage, and Put Away, and proceed to discard, donate, etc.
I think that decluttering is a healthy move: Decluttering the House=> Decluttering the Mind.
anita
October 28, 2024 at 2:05 pm #439008RobertaParticipantDear Omyk
I get that the task of sorting thru your late wife’s things can be overwhelming when you have so little down time due to work pressures. If you can come up with a clear outline before you start, the task will be quicker & easier. ie what kind of photo you want to keep and roughly how many ie a wedding photo, a picture of your wife holding your baby with a loving look upon her face and one with her with your child for each year as they grew up etc. Ok at this moment your teenager is not that sentimental but as the years pass especially if they have children of their own these pictures will become precious connection to their roots.
A dozen photos nicely displayed can bring comfort and assurance that your wife is actively honored over the coming years.
Best wishes
Roberta
October 28, 2024 at 3:46 pm #439009HelcatParticipantHi Omyk
I’m glad to hear that things are going a lot better for you now and that you have a sense of purpose. I hope that things continue on this path and keep getting better for you.
Thank you for your kind wishes!
This is a big step, it sounds like one you have thought out well and are ready for. You are a good father to keep things for when your child is older. As you know, the nature of children is not to appreciate the importance of these things when they are young.
It is good that you have already sorted through everything and already have kept the things that you are attached to.
Because the person you will hire isn’t you, it might be a good idea to provide some instructions for them as to the kinds of things that should be kept for when your child is older?
You mentioned that there are a lot of photos. Perhaps they could be removed from frames and go into a photo album?
It makes sense that you are still attached to your wife. I think that is a natural thing.
Good luck with finding someone to help you out with all of this stuff. I think that is a really good idea because truly, you are very busy.
Love and best wishes!
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