bouncing back from the worries

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    I just need a little direction, source of optimism, an advice from you guys, since palpably I can’t open this issue of mine neither to my old folks nor to my siblings.

    I was browsing early this morning for some tips to over come extreme lack of self confidence, and when I found this website, which I am really grateful to find, for I am able to relate with tons of ideas and advises you guys are giving. So hoping you could help me out with this,

    I am dealing with some emotional illness or should I say disorder that I can’t locate what was the root- I just turned 19 this year, a sophomore in college, I have friends, I got my car (present from my 18), a supportive parents, I can actually get anything I want if I wish and do something abt it. I could say I did great at high school (the onset of feeling this insecurity), I even graduate with honors, but when I entered college- things around me did alter. This issue of mine were in its full effect, my class card was a mess to see, my social life was in decrease, I guess I became even more introvert, I am always afraid to try new things, afraid to join social activities, lack of enthusiast to finish my degree, afraid to showcase my talent (I used to be a good writer), I even deleted and burned all the hard copies of my work with the belief that I not good enough . I Diminished my pursue and limited my plans and dreams of becoming a lawyer (a dream since I was in third grade), I am no longer getting good remarks, I even barely pass my minor course(which is so not me-before), that gives me even more depression that had come to a point that I almost slush my wrist and bleed to death or even hold grudge to God (the extreme part) for Him letting this ugly things happen to me. I even hate my self for not being good as anybody else can be, I don’t trust my ideas, decisions, voice, I am afraid that people might notice me and make a fool out of myself. I could say that my life right now is swirling into a pool of insecurity and darkness that I don’t know how to get my feet back into the ground for I don’t even know where this insecurities and issues are coming from.

    just hoping that some of you might have overcome this kind situation and fight back to struggles, that maybe I can get some of your advises & insights. Thank you



    I could say do this or do that. But I think the best will be to point you to the best man who actually, I believe can help you, and make you understand how your mind works. He is the number one motivational speaker in the world and I do urge you click on the link and try him. He has changed my life from night to day and if you do want to have the insight please listen to him. It is better it comes to you from the horses mouth than from me, I am still a beginner but am learning fast and loving it! He has been studying life for over 45 years and really he is authority to listen to. You can ether try this link: https://lifesuccess.infusionsoft.com/go/bpscc/a892/ or this one: https://lifesuccess.infusionsoft.com/go/bpscr/a892/
    You talk about the dreams you have given up, about the lack of confidence, about fighting and struggle. Do give him few minutes of your time, it may be the best you have ever done for yourself. He has the answers to all what you are talking about. From what I see, you are confident person and strong person who has dreams but you need to understand how to go about it and train your mind. It does work and I wish you WELL. Take care and listen and learn. It is The best kept Secret!!!! Martina PS: You will bounce back!

    Buddhist Wife

    The first thing I would suggest is, that if you live in a country where mental health issues are taken seriously, consider talking to your doctor. It may be that you have an anxiety disorder or depression or both.

    I have an anxiety disorder for which I take medication and received counseling. My condition is life-long and chronic but with medication it is bearable. Going for help was one of the best things I ever did.

    I also think it is important to remember that you are not alone. Lots of people have difficulties when transitioning to University. It is an incredibly stressful time of life, so many new experiences and pressures all at a time when you are likely to be going through lots of emotional changes related to growing up. It is natural to go through this and most people do at sometime or another in the early twenties. You just got there early! I imagine that if you could reach out into the heads of the other people around you at Uni you would find many of them feel the same way you do, to some degree or another.

    Please understand that I am NOT a doctor so when I say this it is without any expert knowledge. What you have described sounds to me a bit like ‘imposter syndrome’. You can find out more about this on Wikipedia.


    I really hope you find some peace.


    Echoing what Buddhist Wife said; if you’re comfortable telling a doctor about how you’re feeling, please do!

    I can relate to what you’re talking about; I also did very well in high school and have a very supportive family. But when I got to college things did not go so well and I was very confused and depressed and lost. You’re not alone in feeling the way you do. I still struggle with how to make friends and be successful and it’s been almost 10 years since I left university!

    Hope you find the help you seek. 🙂


    Hi Jade, Buddhist wife and Martina

    Thank you so so much with those advise, I am definitely going to see those websites. and the doctor thing, I actually consider that myself but I was just afraid to admit that I needed to see one, but if self medication, self-help would not be enough, I’ll try talking to them
    Working this out with your tips in my head will not be an overnight practice, but I assure I’ll be more enthusiast and willing to see the bright sides and to always consider what Jade had said that I am not alone in this.

    So Martina I really hope I could bounce back. 🙂

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 2 months ago by Pryce.

    Dear Pryce,
    Once, not so long ago I was very unhappy and disillusioned with life. On one or two occasions I even considered how would it be if I did not exist, the pain in my life was such I wanted to stop it but I do and did love life so the option was not realistic for me. I considered myself a victim of circumstances and I had no clue how to deal with them. The uncertainty of never knowing what the day brings and if I yet again find myself on my knees even though I tried so hard was almost unbearable. I was tide up in very long relationship with powerful but mentally ill individual and became his “slave” I did not live my life, I was too afraid of the consequences, so I lived his, making myself desperately sad and miserable yet I knew there is more in life. Thank God I never stopped searching. And one day when life became too bad I realized this is my life and my soul and if I do not stand up to my inner voice I will lose it for good. I made the most painful decision at that time and walked away and lost it all. But I saved myself and my kids. It took me 20 year but I did it. The moment I stopped listening to all the reasons and excuses and to my fear I became free. I was always looking for someone else to save me, a friend I would complaint too, groups I would go to, doctors, etc…but than,with one brave step to decide to love myself firs,t I broke the spell and unlocked the door. I set the prisoner free. And so I realized, that it was always me holding the key to the jail not my husband, not the circumstances, not life but me and I have the power to set myself free. The love to yourself and the forgiveness to yourself and to others in your life is the key and the determined action to do it. You have the key, we all have it. Listen to the link and this master motivational speaker will tell you how, he did show me even though Ionly found him after the events but I
    still benefited from his incredible knowledge and I wish all people could.. Stay positive no matter what, blow any negative thought away. You will do it!!!! Love M.X


    Hi Martina,

    After hearing your thoughts, I really admired you for being brave and being such a strong, confident woman, sharing this to me and to anybody who needs help, seeks the light this really is a message to hid. 🙂 Since I was little I love to collect poetry, names, lessons, morals and lately I’ve been looking for some lessons and encouragements that I can go on and read when in times of self-doubt, and yours will definitely be on that list, so thank you Martina for sharing this and giving me the strength to get up and making me understand that there is nothing wrong with falling once or even a zillion times, that we can always get better, that we only need to have the will and the courage, and as you said “we are always the one holding the keys, not the circumstances, not life but us and that we always have the power to set free ourselves” not with anybody’s authority. Martina, you have not only gave me an advice but you also knocked this sleeping thought of viewing life as an obscure thing, and that there is something out there to look for, certain or not but I have the keys to all access of life 🙂

    Thank you, and I hope that soon I can be as brave and incredible as you already are. 🙂


    Be brave. You already have been. Write about these things, in a blog. It will help empty them out. Find something you love to do, something that you get lost in. Not drugs or anything like that but a hobby.

    Eventually you will be able to see where these shadows are coming from. Then you can face them. Right now I’m in the facing them process. I was in a really bad place as well. I went on meds, I pushed to get off them. They are worse for you.

    Try self affirmations, youtube has some great ones.

    Keep pushing and keep going. You may not have the answers now, but in time you will…and the enlightenment you will gain is worth it.

    Also try to do things for others, help them.

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