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Breaking a binge-eating pattern

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  • #104281
    Hannah
    Participant

    Hello all,

    I’d like to ask your advice. I’ve been depressed and anxious for a while and I’ve resorted to binge eating as a comfort. By this time last year I’d gained about 4 and a half stones. Last year I tried a very low calorie diet to try and shift the weight – it worked for a while, then after a holiday I dropped back into old habits, perhaps more so. I seem to respond to every emotional up or down by eating junk food.

    I’m so uncomfortable and worried about my health. I want to make a change but I’m at a point where I have no idea where to start, and I don’t know how to stop. I know that I’m not unique in this but if anyone can help I’d really appreciate it.

    Thank you.

    #104286
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hannah:

    I am a recovering binge eater (thousands of calories in a few hours per binge) followed by restricting, restricting, restricting and bingeing. Tell me more about your bingeing, if you’d like: How much eating/ calories per binge? How long since you started bingeing, how often, in what circumstances, what is your thinking involved before, during and after a binge, what do feel after a binge and do you do anything to “compensate”?

    I will be glad to share everything I know in effort to help you.

    anita

    #104323
    Hannah
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thanks very much for your reply, I really appreciate it.

    I think I’ve been bingeing on and off for about 3 and a half years, more or less since I came back to university. I think it has become a coping mechanism for when I get stressed or upset – if I have a panic attack I’ll order a large pizza and sides, enough for two people, probably around 4000 calories or just over, and hide the boxes from my housemate. I tend to rationalise that it’s only the one time and I’ll make up for it the next day with a run or picking up the VLCD again (sometimes I do, but it only lasts a day). Afterwords I’ll feel guilty and a failure – that I can’t control any aspect of my life even if I know I’m putting my health at risk. In more recent weeks I’ve ended up bingeing almost every day. This is probably the worst it’s been.

    Sorry it’s a bit blunt – it took me ages to write! Thanks again for offering to help.

    Best wishes

    Hannah

    #104324
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Hannah,

    What would happen if you change the script. Say, lock your wallet in your car or put it somewhere where it’s not worth the trouble to go after it? Or (if possible) keep a minimal amount of food in your house? Only have veggies around? (Your room mate can help with this).

    Then, there will be some horrible, awkward times that you can’t have your “fix”. But you know what will happen? You will find another fix that’s non-food related. Try not to exchange one bad habit for another. I recommend binge watching Netflix, or losing yourself in all of Jane Austin’s novels. Or iPhone games.

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    #104329
    Kayt
    Participant

    Good morning Hannah and friends,
    Hannah, I’m so happy to hear that you are reaching out for help! You are making a great first step in the right direction by communicating to others about your over-eating. One of the things that helped me on my path to break the binge eating habit was communication. I told everyone I was close to- friends, family, coworkers- and anyone relevant (mostly wait staff at restaurants, before they can up-sell those specials!) that I was changing my eating habits to be more healthy. Telling those around me gave me something invaluable: accountability. It is very difficult to go back into old habits if you value your own word and want to uphold your own commitments. Five years later, my cultural (Italian) relationship with food is still intact and thriving, yet my friends know me as a wellness resource! Trust me- you can do this! Here are some of my tips:

    I second Inky, first and foremost, about finding a new fix. I took up reading manga and watching kdrama, which lead me into a whole new world of cultural appreciation and creative thinking! Whatever your fix is, just make sure it doesn’t involve food and that it satisfies your soul instead of merely passing time. For example, when reading manga, I scheme up stories and ideas for my own writing. It’s inspiring! When watching kdrama, I try to learn part of the language, and if it’s a historical drama, I read about the history in my spare time to follow the show better and learn too!

    If you feel hungry before bed and can’t sleep, have a glass of coconut water! (Make sure the ingredient label lists ONE thing: coconut water!) It’s 40-50 calories a serving, delicious and satisfying to sweet tooth cravings, and great for your skin! You’ll wake up hydrated too. 🙂

    For social occasions, always research the menu before eating out. Look up calories for anything you want to eat, and choose whatever is healthiest. Write this down. When you get there, don’t look at a menu AT ALL. Order what you wrote down. Or better yet, ask for a salad without dressing and grilled chicken or steak. Another trick is to ask for a box WITH your meal and pack up half BEFORE you even eat. Yay, lunch for tomorrow!

    Always keep a healthy snack (almonds, apple, grapes, etc.) on hand. You can safely keep almonds or walnuts in your car or purse. That way, if you’re tempted by fast food while out and about, eat those FIRST and drink some water. Are you still hungry enough to eat fast food now, which will make you feel sick and disappointed later? Nope, probably not! The trick, in the beginning, is to tell yourself you can have the junk AFTER you eat the healthy stuff- and 99% of the time, you will be full on the health food and change your mind about wanting junk. This tip is especially helpful for social gatherings (party at friend’s house, movie theater, etc.).

    Don’t drink your calories! (Coconut water excepted of course hehe!) Water (add fresh fruit to flavor if necessary), black coffee, plain tea. If you NEED flavor, use a splash of vanilla almond or soy milk- it adds the vanilla taste, plus the texture of those milks is very creamy and they are naturally lower sugar/calorie than cow milk. 🙂

    The rule of 5: Start reading EVERY nutrition label! If it has more than 5 ingredients, DON’T eat it! It’s over-processed. Nothing whole and fresh needs more than 5 ingredients. Expanding on that, when you put together a meal, limit yourself to 5 items. (e.g. Salad and chicken- chicken is 1, lettuce is 1, olive oil for dressing is 1, radish on salad is 1, garlic seasoning to flavor chicken is 1, this equals 5 ingredients for the meal; another 5-ingredient healthy example is a taco salad: lettuce, rice, lean ground beef, avocado, hot sauce). This trick simplifies meal time and adds creativity to cooking.

    Lastly, start exercising! Even if you just walk a bit, try to move continuously for at least 25 minutes a day. You will love yourself for it and your stress levels will go down. 🙂

    Best of luck! Stay strong and have confidence, because YOU CAN DO IT! We are all cheering for you Hannah! 🙂

    #104335
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Hannah:

    I read your reply to me and I like the replies you already got above. I will add my thoughts as I type:

    seeking more and more food for comfort has been very powerful in my experience, from overeating to bingeing (a more extreme version of overeating). It has been and still is powerful. One problem is that food is everywhere, visible, on TV, everywhere you go you can see it, smell it, and hence triggered. And then you can’t fight with the rational: hey, I need to eat. After all, it is true. So there is the food everywhere and I need to eat.

    And there is the anxiety, the distress connected, literally connected in our brain (neurological pathways, physical connections between neurons, involving a combination of thoughts and emotions) to food. So you feel distress, you automatically look for food and make sure you get enough of it, to “solve” the distress “once and for all.”

    The “once and for all” thinking is distorted. I thought again and again: I will eat all-this-food, as much as I wanted and then i will not need to overeat ever again. It didn’t work that way because it is distorted thinking.

    One way to deal with this is to correct distorted thinking. Every time you think: ordering all this is going to take away my need to do this tomorrow, think again and say it to yourself, talk sense to yourself. Say to yourself: this happened before and again and again, for three and a half years, the experiment failed: bingeing did not prevent future binges.

    Also talk sense to yourself (correcting distorted thinking, that is) and say to yourself: bingeing will make me feel good for a short time but then the distress will return as it did every single time I binged for 3 and a half years. As a matter of fact bingeing increases my distress. So it is not helping, it is hurting.

    Imagine you are walking around with a little girl who feels scared, distressed and wants to eat. Bingeing is hurting this little girl and you want to help her. What do you do? Look at this little girl, she is suffering. She is looking up to you for help, for guidance. She is crying, she wants a whole lot of pizza so to feel better. You know it is going to hurt her. What do you do, as a loving, responsible parent?

    You get her attention, you go down on your knees so you can look in her eyes and get her attention. You tell her to breathe deeply, you show her how to breathe. You hold her hand, you hug her gently. She calms down. But soon she gets distressed again. So maybe you prepare a hot bath for her, take her for a walk. She calms down, it worked! But the next day she is distressed again and crying for pizza again. You do the same thing, get her attention, tell her to breathe. Maybe do some yoga stretches today.

    This parenting of yourself this way takes a whole lot of patience and gentleness with yourself. What do you think so far?

    anita

    #114876

    Hi beautiful you are amazing its all worth it youre a beautiful person. Take it day by day for now focusnonnyour happiness foods u like to eat taste good and remmeber u deserve to live eat yummy stuff and eat good food. Try baby steps like eat healthier snacks eat one fruit everyday atleast or water more, baby steps everyday and add one more and try exercise doing what u love, when u want. Dont pressure yourslelf judt keep trying see what works for u and knownu arne trying jts inspiring and will helpmothers youre amazing and we love u, u are amazing thank u for existing youll be ok i promise, you desrve to eat, live eat yummy amazing favours that pop in your mouth mouth watering ymum things, your wright doesnt define you cant even measure upnto just how beautiful your soul is best of eishes in life, believe innu and knoe u deserve to be ahopy always and u can make urself happy u want this so bad , good im proud of u, take it day by day in time chqnge happens. Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡

    #123719
    Anna
    Participant

    Hi Hannah!

    I came across your post and decided to make my first contribution right here and now 🙂

    I am a recovered binge eater. I read the responses here and I can already see there is a pressure on eating healthier/exercising. Whilst these are valid points because eating food, which is good for you makes you feel good, as Anita said there is more to binge eating than food. Binge eating disorder has really nothing to do with food- it’s the hidden reasons that drive it and will continue to drive it if you don’t address it.

    I put a lot of pressure on myself to maintain ‘acceptable’ weight when I struggled with my binge eating disorder and depression, and, obviously, failed painfully. It was only when I stopped paying that much attention to food and dedicated time to solving the problems at hand, that I saw a real improvement. I really recommend you read stuff Isabel writes on her website: http://isabelfoxenduke.com/

    Susie Orbach and her Bodies and Fat is the Feminist Issue also helped me address the inner doubts and lack of self-confidence.

    I am keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    #126525
    Hannah
    Participant

    This is really really belated but thanks everyone for your words of wisdom and support 🙂 Having a bad patch so re-reading them again n for inspiration! Long process but I think things are getting better 🙂

    #126538
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Hannah. Post anytime.
    anita

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