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Breakup Day 2

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  • #365532
    Michelle
    Participant

    So I did a long thread about how the virus has destroyed the best relationship I had ever had.

    it was a long-distance relationship. The distance was supposed to end this month. But with the virus halting visas and travel I had not seen my boyfriend for 8 months now and he could not find adequate work and has abandoned his plan to come to America to study. Also, trump ended work sponsored visas, although he would have had a student visa a work sponsorship was the end goal. But our backup plan was to move to Canada together. We would have done it now except again the virus and the visa program is not functional for at least a year from now. Why couldn’t we still do that if it worked out and there was no visa. Surely it’s better than staying in Hong Kong where there is no future for him.

    That is the short story. There was nothing wrong with our relationship. He was the best boyfriend that I had ever had. I was so happy every day even during this pandemic. We clicked together so well and now I am devastated.

    Today I am feeling anger. I understand that 8 months is a long time to be apart (so long because of the virus we missed three meetings).  I get that romantic feeling could fade in that time and might make the will to be with me fade off. Nonetheless, we talked to each other all day every day for months. I still felt strongly for him and he was a big part of my life.

    I feel upset that he didn’t do more to be with me. He literally threw in the towel. Not only is he giving up on moving here to be with me but he chose to give up on his ambitions to get out of Hong Kong. He did an MBA to get out of a job that he hated and made him hate his life. Now he will stay there and do the same things that he was doing before while the future of hong kong is questionable and he is not Chinese. It just makes no sense to me to choose that over me and a possible resume building job in the direction of his career goals.

    I feel disappointed, angry, and abandoned. That combined with being isolated at home alone with the virus I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through these days.

    My neighbor thinks he will regret his decision in a week or two. But he plays it safe and he’s so far away. I don’t know. I just feel sad. I feel like he tried but he also gave up easier than I expected.

    Why is it then whenever I get something good it is ripped away from me? Story of my life.

    I don’t feel like eating or doing anything.

     

     

    #365535
    Michelle
    Participant

    I’m really miserable maybe i should never date again. I don’t know how I can’t remain in a good relationship like others I know. Why do I constantly get to be in these seemingly happy situations that always end in misery for me.

    #365545
    Tim
    Participant

    @Michelle,

    Breakups suck, I’ve been there and dealt with all the highs and lows. Maybe you would benefit from posting in a thread on relationships where others are currently at different parts of their journey of heartbreak, lots of great advice there already and support, they are a friendly bunch?

    It’s under “Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after relationship break up.”

    If not, I’ll try and keep tabs on this section too and help.

    #365549
    Michelle
    Participant

    Thanks i’ll post there Tim but i didn’t get much response there why I tried here.

    #365553
    Tim
    Participant

    @Michelle Try posting your story in that particular thread it is called “Trying to deal with anxiety and loss after a relationship break up” the people that post in that thread are lovely from what I’ve read and I post advice regularly there to @Sammy.

    #365572
    Michelle
    Participant

    ok thank you I will do that.

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