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Burned 2x by the same person!

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  • #271183
    Viviana
    Participant

    An ex of 20  years ago and I decided to reunite and “see” where things go. Things went amazingly well, so well that we decided that I should move to his hometown.  We had our 6 month plan. In the meantime, I flew out to visit him so our children could finally meet face to face, that also went great. Unfortunately, The night I arrived I came across a bumble notification, letting him know he had a new message. ( i was helping his youngest set up an account for a game on the ipad when it showed up). I took 4 days to  mention this to him as the kids had been around,  he said it was because his subscription had automatically renewed and that he would never do anything to ruin what we have as myself , my child and his kids where the most important thing in his life. Truth be told, I know I needed to think about this and when I returned home I let him know that I was hurt and his dating apps shouldn’t be active.. .. he claimed he wasn’t sure how to delete them.

     

    Moving forward I got back on a Monday and that Friday, he let me know that he wasn’t ready for a relationship..ummmmm excuse me!!! I had never introduced my little girl to anyone I was dating in the past! But, what else could I do? then I start getting the radomn texts, Hi, thinking of you. “wish the girls a merry christmas from me please” etc.
    then the biggest stab in the back is finding out he’s still on these dating apps and not once even attempted to delete them…I feel like I got lied to, played and most importantly taken advantage of yet again. I had entertained the convos prior but now, I am beyond hurt and pissed!
    any advice or questions would be appreciated.

     

    Viv

    #271191
    Mark
    Participant

    Viv,

    You did not say why he was an “ex.”  Good that you know this now versus finding out when you have moved out and married him.

    If he says he is not ready then take him at his word.

    His actions from having the dating apps and telling you that he does not want a relationship with you should be enough to know that this relationship is over.

    I would suggest for you to cut him off, i.e. tell him you are going to block him and ask him not to contact you again.

    Mark

    #271255
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear  Viviana:

    February  this year there was another man who lied to you, “Things seemed to be going very well, he  too was looking to  get into a relationship and our conversations were great! until I  start  to catch him in little lies, I did not approach him with this  at the time, perhaps  out of fear?”-

    You are not responsible for people lying to you, of course. But I like to learn best I  can from experience so to make my  life better best I can. Looking back at that quote, I wonder if there is a learning  opportunity here, in your question mark: “I did not approach him with  his at  the time, perhaps out of fear?”

    – what do you think?

    anita

    #271319
    Michelle
    Participant

    “he claimed he wasn’t sure how to delete them.” – such a lie.

    My advice is you need to block him and never, EVER speak to him again. If someone burns you once, learn to walk away and never look back. The change from one year to the next can be a great time to refresh one’s life. Use this opportunity to make 2019 all about you. Don’t entertain these bums. You deserve better.

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