I was with my ex just under a year.
We were in a temporary long distance relationship (3 months).
Before going long distance, things were rocky. We were fighting often and could not seem to connect. It felt like he didn’t ever listen to me or try to meet my emotional needs. He never took responsibility for any issue in our relationship. Ultimately, everything was my fault. He doesn’t seem to realize it takes 2 to make a relationship work, and also 2 to make it fail.
The distance made things worse. He was insecure as was I.
A month into it we broke up. I reached out 5 days later explaining where I felt things went wrong and what I could do to improve on my end. He was receptive and said we could rebuild and try to work things out.
Things were going great I thought. He was making many future plans with me, visiting my parents,telling me how he couldn’t wait to see me and missed me, etc. In short, it didn’t really sound like he was unsure.
It was like things did a 180 on St. Patty’s Day. He said he was unsure and didn’t know if missing me was a waste of time. I, of course, tried to reason with him. I said we have 2 weeks left of the distance and we owe it to ourselves to at least see each other. He said the people he talked to said we should not be together (I also want to add these people don’t know me). Given that he can’t acknowledge his faults, I can only imagine what he said. He said they asked him if the bad outweighed the good and he realized there was a lot of bad. In my head I thought you don’t spend a year with someone if the bad outweighs the good, but this is his current mind set – clouded.
He was insecure about a dinner party I had for work because of a certain colleague was there. I think he sensed this person had a crush on me, but I can assure it was not reciprocated.
This man seemed friendly to me and we texted here and there small talk. Nothing crazy. Mostly about places we were traveling to on the weekends (not together I may add).
Then the other day he inappropriately came onto me and made me very uncomfortable. I confided to my boyfriend about this because I wanted his support.

He called me a “lying bitch” and said he didn’t believe I didn’t do anything with him. He said he was done and would never believe me. He said I “put myself” in these situations and I am so naïve and he can’t handle it.

He asked me if I shaved down there…. I said yes. He flipped out and said we had an agreement I would not shave. I said while I haven’t been shaving, it was never an agreement. He said this was a deal breaker and he does not believe I didn’t do anything.

He immediately goes onto Facebook and changes things. I am crushed because he just jumped to conclusions and made up his own reality, leaving me feeling guilty for something I didn’t do and alone.
I finally get him to speak with me on the phone and I tell him how I texted this guy to tell him off. Big mistake. It turns into the fact that I had been texting this guy. He demands I send all the texts in screenshots. I do, against my better judgment. He says it made it worse and I was clearly leading him on. I said no I wasn’t at all. Again, he saw what he wanted to see.
He insisted there was holes in the texts and demanded I resend them.
I did.
I finally told him I was done sending him things because it wasn’t serving any purpose and he wasn’t changing his mind. I said I wanted to work on things more than anything but clearly he did not. I said I was moving on and would not be chasing him and focusing on myself going forward.
He replied saying he wants me to be happy, but that he doesn’t see himself trusting me again. He said he has to work on his trust issues and this sent him over the deep end. He said he believes I am a good person and made a mistake. I never replied and he texted again saying “if you sent anything I didn’t get it”.
He texted on Monday saying he hopes in the future I will stand up for myself because that was a fireable offense. I did not respond. This text really hurt me because it was like he was admitting what happened was wrong, and yet he broke up with me over it.
I have cut off contact. I decided to go to Hawaii instead of coming home right away and he was asking about me to a mutual friend, wanting to know who I was with and about a new job opportunity I accepted.
Is there a chance he will cool down after some space and time and realize he overreacted? Can I get him back? I realize it was wrong to text another man but there was truly nothing there and I feel he could see that if he wasn’t so blinded by his trust issues from past relationships.
I would really like to work this out, but I am not sure if he will ever come back around.
I guess in your experience with jealous and possessive exes, do they reach back out? Is he capable?