Home→Forums→Tough Times→can someone define love and show how to love myself and others
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Rahel.
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July 27, 2014 at 6:56 am #61872
@Jasmine-3ParticipantThanks Matt
Hi Rahel
Ok it seems that you didn’t understand my post. My apologies for not able to explain things in a simple way. I will try again 🙂
What is forgiveness ? Lets give you an example: if someone is hurt by your action, do you say sorry ? If someone cries because of you, do you say sorry ? If you didn’t complete your homework in school and the teacher got angry with you, did you say sorry ?
This is the same type of forgiveness. People in your life have made you cry and hurt you. You need to forgive them. You need to let them go from your mind and soul. You need to stop living in the past and stop suppressing the pain that you feel. You can only move forward when the pain leaves you. For the pain to leave you, you need to forgive everyone and yourself. You understand that things happened and we couldn’t change anything. But now, you are in charge of your life. You choose to let go of pain.
The moment you burn this pain in the fire, you will be able to feel love. You will not have to pretend to love someone or smile at them. You will be LOVE and your parents and everyone around you will feel the love from you. When we are filled with pain, we are filled with negative energy and no matter how much we pretend to be nice to others, the energy travels faster than our actions.
We can not give out to others what we do not have. If you do not have love, you cannot give love. To develop love, you need to say sorry to yourself and others sincerely and let the pain go.
Does this make sense ?
Jasmine
July 27, 2014 at 7:06 am #61873
RahelParticipantDont be sorry jasmine…might be my fault that i find it difficult to grasp…
Usually i never say sorry to anyone, my adamant mind never allows me.hence i dont know how does it feel to forgive.
i dont try to remmeber the past..when ever i look at my parents face..they are always upset becoz of my past mistake, my behaviour from childhood, marriage issues etc.. this hurts me, makes me more depressed.. loosing virginity, will always be a scratch in my mind and it will be dangerous if ever i get married
July 27, 2014 at 7:11 am #61875@Jasmine-3ParticipantHe He Rahel. You use big words like adamant but feel that your English is not good 🙂
Forget about forgiving anyone else or saying sorry to anyone else. Can you say sorry to Rahel for all the pain, tears, sorrows, unhappiness, lack of love, mistakes etc ? Can you forgive Rahel ? Rahel didn’t know any better. She is asking for your forgiveness. Can you sincerely accept her apologies and just become good friends with her ?
Until you do this, you will not understand the meaning of love or self-acceptance. If need be, go and ask someone in your village what forgiveness is. Ask some elder or a mother of a new born.
Best wishes,
J
July 27, 2014 at 7:26 am #61880RahelParticipantjasmine i feel the word adamant apt bcoz even though i knew that my words have hurted many ppl, i have never said sorry even if my parents request, i have always been stubborn to say the word sorry
at present when i readur email.. i was crying why all these years i spoiled my own life for the past 29 years.. why i was not matured and wise like other kids eventhough i was given advices at the right time from my parents…
when i read ur mail.. i said sorry to my god, jesus, unless he forgives me, i cant move forwards and cant do anything on my own without his help.
one last time for my sake, i said sorry inside on my own..will it suffice..i dont know whether it was sincereor there was feelings..i was just crying… i cant this silly question to anyone..its unanswerable question..they ll laugh at me
July 27, 2014 at 7:34 am #61882@Jasmine-3ParticipantRahel
You are adamant about NOT saying sorry because you are in pain. You need to release the pain.
You do not need to say sorry to anyone else except yourself for the moment. Your god, Jesus is sitting in your heart. Everyone has a Jesus sitting in their heart. Once, we realise this, saying sorry will become easy. But just keep saying sorry to Rahel first until you do not feel any pain. Let all the tears finish.
When you have forgiven yourself, you will feel a lot of love for yourself. When you feel love for yourself, you will be able to say sorry to others and start feeling love for others.
Keep trying until the day you only feel love for Rahel and Jesus sitting within Rahel. Jesus in Rahel has already forgiven Rahel but now Rahel needs to forgive Rahel from the bottom of her heart.
Loads of positive energy and keep releasing your pain and fill your heart with love. Pain out, love in ,yeah ? You can do this in meditation or in any quiet spot or even lying on your bed.
Jasmine
July 27, 2014 at 8:06 am #61884RahelParticipantjas i said sorry inside on my own..will it suffice..i dont know whether it was sincere or there was feelings..i dont know whether it was from bottom of the heart..
..i told u that i said within myself..will it not work..if i keep teeling sorry on my own..then i ll keepon thinking all the past..
willl it work if i say once or twice…
July 27, 2014 at 8:07 am #61885RahelParticipantmingling with others will it help to free myself
July 27, 2014 at 8:10 am #61886@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Rahel
You are not recalling your past. You are letting go of the past events one by one. When you burn something, it doesn’t come back, does it ? Same with past events.
How many times you have to forgive yourself to let go all depends on you. If you have truly forgiven yourself, you will be able to forgive others and feel love for them.
You will be able to live your life and move forward. So the question to ask is: Am I moving forward in life with my head held high up ? If your answer is no, you have work to do. If your answer is yes, good for you 🙂
Yes, mingle with others. We are all one and same. Everyone is Jesus – you, me, parents, friends etc. So go and enjoy your life. Let go of the past pain.
Good night
J
July 27, 2014 at 8:25 am #61887RahelParticipanti dont know hownfar i was successful in forgiving myself….but i want to give happiness to my parents…i want to be a good daughter..when i write this sentences my eyes are filled. i want to move ahead in my life..
i always aimed to be a good person who can be role models to others…
but still i keep on asking things which i alone can do….eventhough i said sorry within myself, i always need an affirmation for everything..why soJuly 27, 2014 at 8:28 am #61888RahelParticipanteven if i wan to say S as u said in ur above mentioned but still there is some doubts lying…why still everything comes up…how to unlearn things and remove from unconscious mind..
how to stop attraction towards guys and different b/w good and bad..how to open the door of wisdom which has been closed for years
July 27, 2014 at 8:30 am #61889@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Rahel
You know all the answers and yet you seek affirmation…..because you are blaming everything outside of you for your pain.
Once you take personal responsibility for your pain, you wont need help from others. You will be able to chin up and move forward with your dreams.
Go and make your parents proud. Go and be the best daughter you can be. Go and be the role model you want to be for others. Be the good person you want to be. No one is stopping you my dear friend except for yourself.
Things have not gone wrong in your life because of others. They have gone wrong so that you can learn something beautiful from each experience and become bigger and better Rahel 🙂
When your Jesus is with you in your heart, why are you looking outside ? Ask your Jesus for strength and guidance and you will be surprised with the power you generate within.
We often say that there is no one to help us or show us the right path but we forget that we have not asked ourselves for the help as yet. We are always looking outside to other humans. Humans who are still learning themselves he he he
July 27, 2014 at 8:37 am #61890@Jasmine-3ParticipantWhy do you want to stop attraction towards guys ? Are you a nun like Rewa ? No, right ? Be attracted to guys. All heterosexual girls are attracted to guys. It is a normal phenomenon.
How to open the door to wisdom ? First fulfil all your desires and the door will open. As long as you keep suffocating yourself, no door is gonna open up. Forgive yourself, accept yourself, love yourself. When you are able to do this, you will be able to forgive others, accept others and love others. When we can see the Jesus in everyone and ourselves merging, the door of wisdom opens automatically.
Does it make sense ?
July 27, 2014 at 8:41 am #61891RahelParticipantmy mother always say that . i have more IQ than any child she have ever come across.. she said this statement when ever i cry infront of her and show my state of helplessness, when i am carving for love and acceptance from others..Sometimes she stands stuck with wide eyes on listening to my certain explanations which only highly knowledeged people can say or articulate in such ways…..
My basic characterof not thinking deep into what people are trying to say has spoiled my life..or else i would been in higher positions as per my abilities and would have got married at the age of 26….
please explain the meaning of taking personal responsibility of my own pain…
why i take things to heart….but people also say that i have good humour sense…
many people have gone away from me bcoz of my way of talking /tone of speech.. but i dont hurt them intentioally. i am not conscious while speaking..
if only god could give me a chance to go 10 years back and change everythingJuly 27, 2014 at 9:19 am #61892@Jasmine-3ParticipantHi Rahel
Congratulations for having a high IQ. Unfortunately, high IQ doesn’t equal happiness in life. You can get to as high a position you want in life and make as much money as you want….but if you are not kind to Rahel, all will be a waste.
I don’t know if your God can turn back time for you….instead, can you imagine a scenario 10 years in the future. You are still the same Rahel 10 years into future at the age of 39 like you are today – still suffering and crying for help. Now, life has given you an opportunity to turn back time and become 29. Can you create the life you want. Can you do it ? If you can create the life you want now, good for you and this is what taking personal responsibility for your pain means.
Start today. Every second that you waste now is not going to come back and in 10 years, you will be repeating the same story if you do not take an action NOW.
I am off to bed now as have work tomo. Hope this helps.
Ciao
Jasmine
July 27, 2014 at 9:41 am #61894RahelParticipantjas..can i ask have u ever come across similar situation, if yes what u did for that?
all my life i had fight with my father bcoz of his peculiar nature and i dont have patience and ability to adjust..he is not like other father…when ever he asks any help or says something, i get angry on listening to his sound itself.. i always think of being kind tohim , but unable to why so….
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