Home→Forums→Tough Times→can someone define love and show how to love myself and others
- This topic has 121 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 2 months ago by Rahel.
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August 2, 2014 at 6:58 am #62448MattParticipant
Rahel,
What you’re describing is all very normal and usual. From the my point of viea, you’re doing fantastic. Bravo! Don’t be afraid of “backsliding”, that’s not what’s happening. The feeling “normal” to feeling “discomfort” is part of the process. Normal steps.
To help with the thousands of thoughts, consider switching to metta meditation. Metta means friendship, loving kindness, and is a feeling we can grow. As we cultivate metta, we silence the thousands of thoughts down to a few simple ones, and the mind grows peaceful, smooth. Consider “Sharon Salzburg guided metta meditation” on YouTube. Twice a day for a week should provide a lot of noticeable relief. The key is to give as much authenticity to the meditation as you can. Slowly, the mind becomes more peaceful.
Said differently, directly:
Step 1) “Sharon Salzburg guided metta meditation” on YouTube.
Step 2) Give hugs, as often as you can manage, to yourself and anyone you love.
Step 3) Peace grows slowly, directly, predictably.Good luck! Keep going, you’re doing awesome. The difference already is humbling, inspiring. Namaste, sis!
With warmth,
MattAugust 2, 2014 at 9:26 am #62450RahelParticipantHi,
Matt
why i get frustrated, anger and all of the top emotional…
whenever i do some work and if i shift my mind to some other work evenif for few seconds..i forget what i was doing 1 minute back…
and i always have felt heaviness from childhood ..by evening time my left hemisphere of the head starts paining as if beaten by hammer…headaches are secondary… but i always have fear or dullness in accepting certain things.. for example : If my parents said that any proposal (guy) is coming to see me with hisfamily, my mood changes, gets dull, i become emotional and respond with anger and later feel guilty… when such topics come i get triggered rather thinking in positive way of giving a try…
and rather expecting that person to be as per ur set criteria….i cannot complete the count in meditation, several thoughts comme, again i bring back the count..helpless
August 2, 2014 at 10:39 am #62451MattParticipantRahel,
Don’t give up, just keep going. The questions of “why” remind me of a story. There is a doctor, who has a patient come in onto the table with a poisoned arrow in her leg. She demands that she learns why she was shot with the arrow, what were the causes, why is this happening. The poison makes her deluded, feverish. The doctor would be foolish to answer her questions, and instead aims at removing the arrow.
The reasons, questions, you’re offering is why I suggest moving toward metta meditation. Now that you’re seeing “unkempt mind”, its time to tidy it up!
With warmth,
MattAugust 2, 2014 at 11:08 am #62452RahelParticipanti dont know why meditations cant help me…something wrong somewhere… why i am not getting that hold…that enlightenment… why i have to fail everywhere…
Most of the free time.. i always get thought of having sex ..why
August 2, 2014 at 10:34 pm #62469The RuminantParticipantRahel,
Like Matt said, what you are going through is normal and expected.
Think of it this way: when you were young, you were in an accident and something got damaged, but never fully attended to and healed. Now you are going through rehabilitation. If it was a leg, and you had difficulty walking, would you stop going to the physical therapy after couple of times because the leg wasn’t healing fast enough for you? Would you rather continue limping?
Your belief of being a failure is not based on reality.
August 3, 2014 at 11:33 am #62489Katie BuntingParticipantCan someone please help, I posted a comment but it doesn’t seem to have appeared, does it take time to show up?
August 3, 2014 at 11:35 am #62494Katie BuntingParticipantAm I not allowed to post links up on here?
August 3, 2014 at 11:46 am #62498The RuminantParticipant@katiebunting The site was down for a few hours, so I’m guessing that there was a technical problem when you posted.
August 3, 2014 at 12:09 pm #62506RahelParticipantI initially thought that my thread has become solong that i am unable to login..
Hi, TR
The thing i mentioned about forgetting is not related to meditation..but i am becoming forgetful day by day for the past three years from the time i merged myself into depression…
eventhough i know certain things or would like to practise..i slide back ..my mind is lazy…i wantedly get angry eventhough my mind knows i am gonna get angry…i dont know why i get satisfaction in getting angry and emotional and hurtAugust 3, 2014 at 12:10 pm #62508RahelParticipanthi , katie..i would be happy if u could post ur comment once again
August 3, 2014 at 12:27 pm #62512The RuminantParticipantRahel,
Forgetfulness is very normal whilst depressed. I know, I’ve been there and seen it in other people. Getting sucked into anger and emotional turmoil is also something that happens to many people. I’ve experienced that as well. What ever the reason for that is, you’re not alone in experiencing that and it is possible to move past it. It’s not easy to change the thought patterns, but it can be done. Like Jasmine said, it took her 6 months to get to one point. It took me around a year or more to get to a certain point. What you are experiencing is to be expected and it takes a while to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
August 3, 2014 at 12:50 pm #62517Katie BuntingParticipantEverytime I put my link on it doesn’t seem to work 🙁 it’s http://www.mynameispandora.com
August 3, 2014 at 12:54 pm #62518Katie BuntingParticipantThat’s a link to my blog that I think you will all find helpful. It’s a story about a girl who ‘wants it all’ but above all to just be happy. The post in particular that I think will resonate with most of you is the post on Love and Connection. Please feel free to check it out and let me know what you think x
August 4, 2014 at 9:02 am #62584RahelParticipantHi
katie thanks for the link.. i logged in..but i didnt find the story……if u can update with ttthe link of the storywith lov
August 4, 2014 at 9:10 am #62586RahelParticipantHi,,
TR
I know that my thread is getting longer and longer…but i am getting sick day by day….i dont know what to do..
today when i came from work, my mother was not well, she was vomitting, i saw but still didnt feel like helping her…why i am unable to love or show compassion towards my parents..they have sacrificed a lot for me in their life…
i am again backsliding…i was given a simple step in the initial thread..to listen rather than speaking more..two days it remained in my conscious but again i forgot..there are many thing that i wanted to change about me for past three years..but i dont have consistency neither i remember anything, my mind doesnt show any kind of seriousness…
why knowingly i am creating depression within myself and always wait for people’s affirmation, getting emotional…when and how will i learn to love myself..?
should i drop the idea of marriage..what if my marriage life gets spoiled bcoz ofme
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