Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Childhood/teenage sexual abuse???
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Anonymous.
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August 8, 2017 at 11:02 am #162882
SamuParticipantI think you are an expert/specialist that is why I said “PLEASE HEAL ME NOW NOW NOW!!!…”
August 8, 2017 at 11:04 am #162884SamuParticipant.. ya, i think, may be i know my problem.. from my feelings and my family’s inputs.
August 8, 2017 at 11:54 am #162886
AnonymousGuestDear Samu:
I post “didn’t submit correctly” when my name doesn’t show on the list of topics and I am concerned that the Original Poster (you, regarding this thread) will not be aware that I did reply and will therefore not read the reply.
I am glad you are happy with my reply. And no, I am not a professional expert or specialist. Even if I was- I would still not be able to heal you. Professional psychotherapists, no matter how competent, cannot heal a patient/ client. The client has to fully participate in the healing process.
keep sharing whatever you think is relevant.
anita
August 8, 2017 at 10:45 pm #162974SamuParticipantThank you. You are great!
August 8, 2017 at 10:53 pm #162976SamuParticipantDear Anita,
All my analysis of my problem to blame myself in the present could be to escape/avoid some harsh/hard/bitter/horrible/terrible/brutal/cruel reality/truth in the past which i don’t know or at least, don’t remember. I don’t know the problem. I don’t know whether i am going on the right path/on the right track or not.
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM???
August 9, 2017 at 6:20 am #162996AnonymousGuestDear Samu:
You are welcome. The first word in the title of your thread is “Childhood”- you think that your problems originate in your childhood. Maybe in sexual abuse you don’t remember. Let’s look at what you do remember from your childhood: what is it that you do remember?
anita
August 9, 2017 at 9:48 am #163044SamuParticipantI only know severe, harsh bullying by one boy in class 7-8. He used to slap me, take money from me, mimick my stammering and make faces as if he was very angry at me. I lived in his terror at all times at school. May be, it affected my academic performance. Although, I still managed okay. Apart from that, I was generally ridiculed by many at school in those times. I had a nickname too which means – one who is extraordinarily simple, fool, incapable etc. but my problems have begun earlier about which I don’t know apart from what my father tells – the loss of my grandfather.. we were extremely attached to each other. Another thing my father says is a head injury which I had in class 5 or 6. Apart from these, I don’t know anything significant.. nor my family knows anything more.
August 9, 2017 at 10:05 am #163056
serenityParticipantdear samu:
your symtoms are normal with child/ sexual abuse but if you were abused in any way you would remember, ive been abused i ave the same symtoms but nobody understands what exactly its like unless they have been through it. im not being mean it just seems that what you feel is normal but to not remember is weird
August 9, 2017 at 10:17 am #163068AnonymousGuestDear Samu:
First, a thought: I think it is a very good idea if you stop watching pornography. I personally wish there was no such thing as pornography: no one participating in producing it and no one watching it. You, specifically, watching it is not good for you, I believe.
Second, regarding your childhood, losing your grandfather to whom you were attached is a very difficult experience.
I wonder about the nature of your attachment to your mother and father, if they helped with your grieving over your grandfather…?
Parents have stories that are not always relevant. You may have had a head injury but it may have been a matter of no consequence as many children fall and do not suffer permanent damage.
Being bullied like you have been in school, is a terrible experience for a child. It is humiliating and very painful to be shamed, ridiculed… especially, again, when you don’t have a parent at home to protect you (change school, maybe, talk to the bullies/ their parents so to stop the bullying immediately, comfort you).
anita
August 11, 2017 at 9:16 am #163448SamuParticipantDear Anita,
I don’t think I shared these things with my parents because I was SO ABSORBED in it. I was so “immersed” in it that sharing did not occur to me. I am getting the idea JUST AS I AM WRITING!! I become PART of the “process” and not separate from it! It did not occur to me consciously to share these things with my parents. Although, they knew and my father went to the school and talked to the teacher who termed him good!.. and said that he helps in carrying her things (educational stuff, which he sometimes did)
… and it all ended there.
August 11, 2017 at 9:17 am #163450SamuParticipant* become – became
August 11, 2017 at 10:08 am #163462AnonymousGuestDear Samu:
You mean that your father talked to your teacher about a student who bullied you. The teacher reacted by saying that the bullying student is a good kid because he carried her stuff. This means the teacher dismissed your bullying, not taking any action to make it stop, and that student kept bullying you. Did I understand correctly?
If so, when the teacher defended the bullying student to your father, what did your father do next?
Another question: since you didn’t tell your parents about being bullied at school, how did your father find out?
anita
August 12, 2017 at 8:40 am #163600SamuParticipantYou told not to watch porn – GREAT point. Nobody told me that!!
August 15, 2017 at 8:26 am #164032SamuParticipantFather did not pursue because may be he DID NOT BELIEVE ME!!!.. or may be he thought that it would get okay on its own.. there was not much awareness in those times.. or may be somehow/due to some reason he did not pay attention.. don’t know.
August 15, 2017 at 8:28 am #164034SamuParticipantRegarding telling parents, i must have told something.
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