Dear Carlos Ramod:

You wanted to fit in that “bad crowd”, so you jumped off a roof, to entertain them.. to be accepted?

You must have not been “thinking straight”, just like you wrote. And then you changed your life, lost a whole lot of weight, got into bodybuilding, had a relationship with a beautiful woman… and then the undiagnosed rheumatoid arthritis, later diagnosed. And the loss of that relationship.

The big turn about didn’t work out the way you were hoping, but you don’t have to go back to that boy on the roof, not thinking straight.

Life will not be as great as you hoped it would be since the turnaround, but it doesn’t have to be the desperate life you lived before the change.

There need to be an adjustment made, to incorporate the diagnosis into your future planning, to work with it and around it, to live the life that is available to you, best you can.

I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings and that planning for a better future.

anita

Dear Carlos Ramond:

I learned that a whole lot of people live in pain every day, emotional, physical. Many millions, all over the world. I used to think that I was the only one. It seemed that way before.

I do not have rheumatoid arthritis, so I don’t know that kind of pain. In the same line of thinking perhaps, I suffer from Tourette Syndrome, for decades now. And you don’t know my kind of pain.

I think there are some kinds of pain that I will not want to live with, as a matter of fact, I already experienced that kind of pain. People say it can get worse. I suppose it can and at its very worst, I will not be able to endure it, nor will I want to try.

I hope you endure your kind of pain because you do have good moments, and I think or hope that there are ways to manage this disorder, to slow down deterioration, to ease the pain, you probably know of those ways, certain exercise, regularity of exercise, perhaps long walks every day.

Every person, every living thing, has a particular life available to it at any one time. You have yours, as it is. I have mine. I will do the best with the life available to me, as it is now.

anita

Dear Carlos Ramod:

I don’t know much about the disease, the prognosis, if you have an individual prognosis. Don’t know about pain medication, pain management techniques offered in those pain management clinics, about specific exercise that may be helpful to you… about whether living in a warm place is better for you than a cold place and so forth. I hope you take advantage of any and every available resource so your life experience is the less painful and more comfortable.

Please do take good care of yourself and post anytime (I will be away from the computer for about fifteen hours).

anita

Plan to be a survivor and understand suicide,  is a long term answer for a short term problem. What we resist continues to persist, what we accept, will rest.  When we see things as they are , we can rest.  When we measure our progress , by what we had to let go of in order to achieve , the hear and now.