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Confused love (story + guestion?)

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Viewing 5 posts - 31 through 35 (of 35 total)
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  • #349068
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stepan Pavlas:

    Escitalopram is a very known SSRI Antidepressant, its brand name in the US is Lexapro. Like other SSRI antidepressants, they are prescribed to be taken daily, either in the morning or in the evening. It does take time to start working, and millions of people feel that SSRI’s are  working for them. These are prescribed short term or long term. Benzodiazepines are often prescribed to take as needed, with a limit of how much you can take per day. These are responsibly prescribed for the short term only. (I took both for about 17 years, and got off these in 2013).

    “I didn’t realize that they love me”, you wrote regarding your parents. They must have not expressed to you that they love you, and this is why you didn’t realize that they loved you, didn’t listen to you attentively, didn’t pay attention to you.

    It is highly unlikely that a child will not notice that he is loved. It is likely that your parents, like many other parents all over the world,  are often busy, otherwise occupied, focused elsewhere,  distracted, paying attention to other people, other issues, but not to their children.

    “I am glad how they raised me, so whatever they did, I am not complaining”- you are a loyal son, and you love your parents. What I am trying to say to you is that you have to connect your anxiety and depression to your early life experience, and see what it really was like for you. Otherwise, you will not see the roots of your anxiety and depression.

    With understanding of these roots, learning skills (ex., emotional regulation skills) and with developing and practicing healthy habits, you will be able to heal.

    anita

     

     

    #353090
    Štěpán Pavlas
    Participant

    Hello once again.

    I … am … back.

    And damn! What a change!

    So, I do not know where to start. But! Things have moved a lot.

    The confused love has ended. Confusion resulted in a mistake. I have done a horrible thing, and at that moment it all changed. I found out, that I have been doing this to myself for so long, that I have lost control over it. … And what have I done to myself? Well, I felt sorry for myself, but not for the eyes of others, but mainly for myself. Because the weight of life probably began to fall on me long before, and I was probably afraid (or I didn’t know how) to carry the burden of life. It’s not certain, that this is the main reason. But I know that it played a big role, and I felt horrible for doing so.

    But! A few days later, I told myself that blaming and shaming myself won’t help. So, (and thank god for that) I started to sooth my mind, because that felt like the right thing to do. I started a routine of stretch and positive self-talk for an hour in the morning. And oh my … it helps a lot. Today I went to the psychiatrist for a new dose of medication. I am not sure if the improvement is due to the medication, or something else. But I do not care! The main thing is that I am starting to feel a lot better. Well not ”better”, but it is a lot easier to have (or to work forward to) a positive mindset than it has been in the past.

    I am still tired. And it makes me laugh, how exhausting it is to feel happy. It sounds ridiculous. But right now happiness means a lot to me, so I am really grateful for every bit of laughter I can feel.

    I am on a good track. This is the point, where it can go back downhill, or up. This is the breaking point.

    In a weird way, I am grateful for this COVID-19 pandemic, because it gave me a lot of space and time to work on my mental health.

    I hope you are doing great, and If not, I wish you the best!

    Hope to see you next time! See ya. Bye!

    #353132
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stepan Pavlas:

    “Confusion resulted in a mistake. I have done a horrible thing”- I don’t understand: what mistake and what horrible thing?

    Good thing you “started a routine of stretch and positive self-talk for an hour in the morning”, and that it helps a lot.

    “it can go back downhill, or up”- you felt depressed before, most recently you feel happy. Your emotions will continue to go up and down- that’s the nature of emotions. Progress is to not go to extremes, not extremely Up, not extremely Down.

    Thank you for your good wishes for me, and good to read from you and looking forward to the  next time you post!

    anita

     

     

    #362360
    Štěpán Pavlas
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    check out my other topic. I have updated it. 🙂

    Also sorry for not answering. I really just wanted to have a break from solving my problems. I am way better now.

    #362362
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Stepan Pavlas:

    Welcome back to your thread. Last time you posted was May 4, two months and 18 days ago. Let’s see what you wrote on your other thread today: “this was me: No purpose, no dreams, no desires. Just emptiness and depression. No purpose? Not anymore.. Everything we are doing we do for a good feeling. To feel good. And that is my purpose. No dreams? Well, unfortunately still the same. No desires? .. I long to not have depression, I long to be happy.. I long to find myself.. Know thyself. Just emptiness? Certainly not now! Just depression? Depression is gone.. Maybe it isn’t 100% gone but I can surely say that I feel ten times better. The medication worked, but what helped me a lot was cognitive psychology. And also the support from my friends and family, my trainer, school teachers, total strangers on the internet and the list of kind hearts goes on”.

    I appreciate your update, Stepan Pavlas, good to read from you. And it  is  good to read that you are feeling ten times better. Post again anytime for the purposes of  (1)”a good feeling. To feel good”, and (2)”to find myself.. Know thyself”.

    anita

     

     

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