Hi Omyk

Belated Happy Birthday! 🎂 I’m glad it turned out okay in the end.

That’s understandable. There is something about being a parent that leaves you with no time and has you putting other people before yourself. And your ministry role puts you in that position too.

When your child flies the nest, you may find that life opens up for you a bit. You mentioned before you were thinking about where you’ll live next. I think that it should be your decision because you are the one who will ultimately be spending the next stage of your life there.

It is your opportunity to find yourself again and pat yourself on the back for a job well done raising your child. I’m sure they don’t understand how much you have done for them. No child does. They will in time when they have their own children. 😊

Praying for protection for you and your family as you find your way on this journey called life.🙏❤️

Dear Omyk:

I want to go back to something you shared on July 23, 2024: “A huge part of my upbringing was constantly obtaining approval of elders… I sense that I have been shape to act in ways that others approve of – even if they’re not here to signal their approval! So, I’m working on that right now. It is really hard work to unlearn and then learn a new way of thinking!”-

Your sense of worth was built around external approval rather than internal fulfillment. Even though the people who shaped this behavior, the elders, are no longer present, you still felt compelled to act in ways that align with external expectations.

In general, when a child is consistently expected to obey elders—especially in environments where questioning, expressing emotion, or asserting personal needs are discouraged—the child begins to suppress or repress their emotions as a survival strategy. The child learns to hide their emotions (“Don’t cry,” “Be strong,” “You must respect your elders”).

Over time, the child may no longer even recognize what they’re feeling, because they’ve internalized the belief that certain feelings are unsafe or unacceptable.

Both mechanisms (repression and suppression) disconnect the child from their authentic emotional experience.

This disconnection creates an inner split: the child acts in alignment with external expectations while ignoring or denying their internal world. That dissonance—between what they feel and what they are “allowed” to show—can lead to chronic anxiety. The body knows something’s off, even if the mind can’t name it.

The child grows up with difficulty identifying their needs, or feeling guilty for having them. They may develop a hyper-awareness of others’ emotions while neglecting their own—often called “fawning” or people-pleasing. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, low self-worth, or even depressive patterns because the true self feels unseen or unacceptable.

Fast forward to yesterday, June 13 you shared: “I have had more meals with people in the last two weeks than I normally do in 4-5 months. I talked a lot of shop and did a great deal of business. And yet, it still feels like it is lacking for me…It seems to be a craving for a different kind of connection with people.”-

Reading your words, I can’t help but feel that what you’re seeking might not only be connection with others—but also a deeper connection with yourself. The kind that affirms your own desires and needs, not just the ones shaped by expectation or external validation.

You’ve spent a lifetime earning approval—from elders, from professional circles, from the roles you’ve held—and you’ve done it with depth and integrity. But what happens when that external applause doesn’t touch the part of you that longs to be seen for who you are, not just what you accomplish?

When you mentioned the recent social engagements—the meals, the conversations, the recognition—and still described a sense of lack, it felt like a quiet truth speaking through the noise: that no amount of “fitting in” will satisfy the deeper longing to belong to yourself.

Maybe what’s missing isn’t just intimacy with others, but the inner intimacy that arises when you no longer abandon your own voice to meet expectations—especially those planted in you long ago by people who are longer be present, yet whose influence still echoes.

just wanted to say thank you, Omyk, for the courage it takes to share what you do. You’re not alone in this inquiry, and what you’re uncovering is deeply meaningful—not just for you, but for those of us listening, reflecting, growing alongside you.

If any part of this resonates, I’d be honored to keep exploring it with you. And if it stirs something entirely different, I’d welcome hearing that, too. You deserve space not only to be heard, but to be understood—on your terms, in your own time.

With warmth and respect, Anita