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  • #44297
    Sassypants
    Participant

    I find that everything I do or think is cyclical. Lately I’ve been dating this guys and find my feelings for him repeat, feeling close, the far, then close and far, like a pattern is emerging. I have this thought pattern too with good thoughts and bad. Like it’s a choice to be happy is it also a choice to have consistent feelings for someone? I guess I’m wondering I’m experiencing is normal or if I should be concerned…

    #44325
    William
    Participant

    I keep wondering if I should add a comment…or not add a comment…..maybe I should take responsibility and make a decision or forever spend my time oscillating

    #44550
    Kinny
    Participant

    It’s hard to tell if it’s anything abnormal from what you’ve written. LIfe is a cycle; birth and death, ebb and flow, etc. Perhaps you aren’t living a fulfilled and passionate life and the monotany is weighing you down and you are asking yourself if this is it.

    What about your situation seems off? What thoughts are you doubting?

    #44576
    Sassypants
    Participant

    He’s falling for me and I guess I didn’t expect this to be in my life so quickly after a 6 year prior relationship. It scares me and I’m still getting used to a healthy relationship and getting over the past toxic one. I am finding new hobbies to do alone and we also do things together, nothing mundane. My feelings about this new relationship have been strong then reserved. I always have a good time with the person, but lately I haven’t been missing him when apart. I’m physically attracted to him ye don’t feel the desire to be sexual besides kissing, which I love. He’s a great person, but I guess I doubt myself and my decisions, which I’m working on.

    #44588
    GraceInMotion
    Participant

    I believe that the emotions we experience are generated from our inner self. I would hazard to guess that your inner self is telling you to take time for yourself, that there is no need to rush anything.

    You have just out grown a toxic relationship. What a blessing! Breathe. Cleanse. Heal.

    What you see as “not missing him”, I see as you being content alone. That is a very good thing for anyone. It is as it should be.

    #44654
    Macintosh
    Participant

    Maybe you’re not ready yet to get involved with someone else soon after a toxic relationship ended not too long ago.

    #44665
    Kinny
    Participant

    Sassypants, I think your hestiation and doubts seem understandable considering your cirumstances. In my experience, I tend to be very skittish when I get out of toixc relationships. It took me a while to trust my feelings and motives again after an experience like that. I can also relate that you weren’t prepared for the new relationship to be going so fast so quickly.

    Perhaps you need to give it time or perhaps he’s not right for you right now, but either way you sound like you are on the right track. How soon after the six year relationship did you get involved with the new guy?

    #44696
    Sassypants
    Participant

    I dated my ex for almost 7 years with break ups along the way. The last year was pretty much on the outs, but I stuck with it because I didn’t want to give up. I met the new guy at random, one month after when I told myself I wasn’t going to date anyone but myself. I’m not in the relationship bc it’s easy or bc I need someone. It’s healthy, honest and refreshing. After having thoughts of doubt, I saw him this morning and was so happy to see him. I’m honest with and he’s very understanding of my situation.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by Sassypants.
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