Thanks Anita and Jane for responding . Yes Anita I actually know his family pretty well it’s kind of a personality trait of theirs to be more superifical . My mom taught me the opposite so that’s something we differ in personality wise. I’m not sure if he is truly insecure I have mentioned and asked in the past and he just says he’s not cocky but is very confident. He personally says he doesn’t understand what I mean.
Jane yes he does compliment me and tell me I’m beautiful and great . But a lot of the time the other things can mask that. He also does always think he is right about everything and if I care too much or am hurt by something he calls me overly sensitive. Idk if your boyfriend is like that with you as well but it can be very draining like you said to deal with someone who will never accept their own flaws or just being wrong.
And again he does compliment me but his behavior is so the opposite. As dumb as t sounds it’s like a vibe he lets off as if he’s better. And a lot of the time he likes to control what I do. Or makes fun of something I do. It’s extremely draining and sad also because it’s making me forget the good parts of him.
And it’s not even like I’m worried anything will happen with him and anyone else , I get a lot more attention from the other sex than he does. I just approach confidence as an inner thing that’s my own and when I feel good I’m good I don’t flaunt it or behave like he does. So it’s hard since we are different in that way. A guy could come up to me in front of him, hit on me, tell me I’m gorgeous and he wouldn’t give it a second thought haha

Of course Jane we can only help each other. And that’s so sad he doesn’t compliment you at all. I mean your confidence should always be within you but of course your partner should uplift you and make you feel beautiful as well. It goes both ways.
And We have had some intense fights in the past usually drunk ones . But end up communicating and talking it out.
But I think you should talk to him about the compliments and see what he says. Being open is the best thing you can do. Especially if it makes you feel bad. That’s what I did with my bt I told him when he get cocky it makes me feel bad makes me feel inferior and I shouldn’t feel that way with anyone especially my partner. Was your almost break up about the compliment thing or something else?

Hey Jane , yes thanks to everyone for responding. Sorry it took so long for me to write back but yes I have the same issue as you I have always been a very calm peaceful person. It takes a lot to get me anger but I realized in my relationship with him Ive become an angry person. Most of the time I feel like im talking to a wall. Completely unheard. hes so into himself and cares only about himself that he wont every empathize with someone else. The other day I actually came to him and told him how I was bothered that he never said anything to me about my concern with a family problem. And instead of just hearing me he actually got upset at me for bringing it up and was saying how im so dramatic and need to just get over things. IN turn it makes me always feel so guilty because I dont like to upset other people but I dont see why me coming and saying hey last night i was so worried about my family etc and him just sitting there being completely quiet then falling asleep bothered me. If its not something that affects him personally he could care less. It worries me becuase I am very empathetic but hes not and he even admits to it and says well Im just not like that. I feel stuck and not sure what to do. And its funny because everytime he has had a problem I have always been there to talk to him and give him advice and say words that are positive. But I dont think he even appreciates that . He cares more about what he looks like in the mirror than his partner hurting. I truly feel lonely in my relationship.