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Dealing with jealousy and dissension from family members when changing your life

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Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • June 16, 2014 at 9:47 pm #58970
    Nanette Stein
    Participant

    There are a lot of changes happening in my world right now, and for the actual, ‘real’ first time, I’m breaking out of my comfort zone and embracing those changes and trying to leave my fear at the door. But, I’ve noticed some dissension from my sister who I feel might be having a hard time with the fact that I am actually taking the time to care for myself in this way; jealous, even (though there is nothing to be jealous of. If you’ve ever read my blog posts, you’d see that my decisions are hard ones, and riddled with anxiety.) How do you deal with the guilt of moving on and getting yourself out of a rut while leaving a loved one behind? I know everyone has their own decisions to make, but when you are this close to someone, and things start to go your way, and perceivably not theirs, guilt still ensues, even when you try to “lead by example”. Do any of you have any experience with this?

    June 17, 2014 at 5:18 am #58981
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Nanette

    Thanks for a beautiful and valid query.

    Hey, everyone is on their own journey. Unfortunately, we cant hurry someone else on their journey even when we know that it may benefit them. Everyone has to make their own choices and decisions to lead the life they wish to lead. You have chosen to break free and embrace Nanette for who she is – which is great and awesome. And I am not surprised that things are going your way. This is one of the consequences of embracing self – we suddenly realise that we are the creators of our own destinies. How cool !

    How can you help your loved ones along the process ? Simply by giving them more love. Now that you have more inner power and love within yourself from the self care and nurture, you can share more of the same with others. Eventually, everyone will benefit from this :).

    It is very easy to get distracted by the chatter outside when we are undertaking an inner journey. Please do not get fooled by this. Keep marching forward with your head held high up. You are on the right path !!!

    Blessings,

    Jasmine

    June 17, 2014 at 12:05 pm #59022
    Nanette Stein
    Participant

    Thank you, Jasmine.
    And you are so right…it was quite the amazing discovery to realize that I am the creator of my own life, and I try to teach that to others often, as well. I am also realizing little by little, every day, that I must just continue doing what I am doing to benefit myself and ensure my own happiness (self-love) and I will be able to have more love to share, knowing that this really is the very best we can do for each other.
    Thank you so much for your response, I truly appreciate it.

    Warm regards,

    Nanette

    June 19, 2014 at 6:03 am #59149
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Nanette

    Thanks.

    Pardon me, but what do you mean by teaching that to others often ? The moment our inner journey becomes about teaching others, we go backwards. We cant teach others what we don’t fully understand or grasp. We waste too much of our positivity in teaching when we ourselves are on the inward journey. What we can do is share our experiences and hope others will be inspired by them and may consider bringing a positive change in their lives. I reckon this what you meant, yeah ?

    Cheers,

    J

    June 19, 2014 at 8:49 am #59159
    Nanette Stein
    Participant

    Jasmine,

    All due respect, but I believe that we all can be teachers, as well as learn from each other, at all stages in our lives. I think semantics got in the way of our communication, here. I share my experiences with others as an author here at Tiny Buddha, and on my own blog for two reasons: to “lead by example” in a sense and to learn from any and everyone. I have opened up about the trauma my self and my family has endured and overcome these past two years in the hope that someone else might realize that they are not alone on their own journey. I receive no money from this, I seek no fame. Maybe I will share on a larger scale, someday, but for now, the comments that are shared by those that might learn something from these experiences are enough for me; they are my teachers as well.

    Here are links to two of my posts that I have written for TB:

    http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-feel-angry-more-often-than-not/
    http://tinybuddha.com/blog/finding-meaning-in-tragedy-and-moving-on-stronger/

    The other posts can be found there, as well. I hope you are not offended by this, Jasmine. I just believe that we most certainly can teach, and learn, even “what we don’t fully understand of grasp”, and that honoring each other by taking the time to teach and understand and learn from one another is never a waste.

    I honor your response.

    Namaste,

    Nanette Stein

    “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”
    ― Pema Chödrön

    June 19, 2014 at 6:09 pm #59198
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hey Nanette

    Pls don’t feel that I am offended. Perhaps, I did not articulate myself well when I was talking about the aspect of “teaching”. I agree that we are all learning and teaching others in some form or other. I was trying to understand the “underlying” intention of teaching others. I will try again 🙂

    When our intention of teaching others becomes based on a desire to bring about a change in the other person as we feel they could benefit from it, then it can erode our own positive energy. On the other hand, if we our intention is to only grow and hope our experiences can inspire others to bring about a positive change (when and how the other person wants it), then our actions do not lead to unfavourable outcomes. We are not interfering actively in other people’s journey.

    It is basically saying that I accept myself the way I am but I also accept everyone else as they are. It is honouring ourselves and others for the perfect higher beings (not humans) that we are. It is also affirming that I am not here to show anyone their path or lead others onto to a better path as I don’t know any better (we are all students in the big schemes of things and the day we start thinking of ourselves like a teacher, our arrogance takes over the inward journey). Everyone is on their own journey and if I can aid them along the way, well and good but without an expectation for such a change.

    Hope this makes it a little more clear. If it doesn’t, no worries either 🙂

    Love your 2 posts on TB. Keep up the good work.

    J

    July 7, 2014 at 8:18 am #60334
    Nanette Stein
    Participant

    Jasmine,

    Exactly. Well done. Sorry to be so late with a reply, but I agree wholeheartedly. Beautiful sentiments…

    With honor,
    N

    July 7, 2014 at 8:27 am #60336
    Nanette Stein
    Participant

    Jasmine,

    Exactly. I agree wholeheartedly. This is exactly how I feel about it as well. Isn’t misunderstanding one of the number one causes of our pain with each other? Sometimes it causes a bit of a ruffle where there need not be one. You seem very sweet and gracious and I am glad to have ‘met’ you…(Btw, sorry to be so late with a reply 😉

    With honor,
    N

    July 14, 2014 at 4:36 am #60820
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Thanks Nanette. You are too kind 🙂

    Happy to have met you online as well. You need to frequent TB more often.

    J

    January 5, 2015 at 10:12 am #59156
    Nanette Stein
    Participant

    Jasmine,
    All due respect, but we have much to teach each other, and learn from one another. I think semantics got in our way of communication, here. I try very hard to share my experiences with others in the hope that they will learn form them and know that they are not alone in their journey; it’s what I write about…often. As an author here, at Tiny Buddha, and on my own blog. It is what drives me, it is my passion. I make no money in it, I seek no fame. Perhaps I will share on a larger scale, someday, but, for now, giving of myself is all that is needed. It soothes my soul to know that I have helped even one person to not feel so alone in their perceived struggles with their life.
    Here’s a link to one of my posts here at TB: The comments are all I ever needed to feel like I have helped someone, and even I learned from the teachers that offered me lessons there. The other articles can be searched from there. They are raw stories of the trauma that has been felt by my family and myself over these last two years.

    “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”
    ― Pema Chödrön

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