Dividing opinions

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Inky.
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    Max Bye

    First time posting! Looking forward to your thoughts.
    My sisters are really great people. They went on the woman’s march, which is indisputably an incredible way to invest the day. But they paraded around the woman’s day march with this “Trump is an idiot” placard.
    We don’t live in the States but (dual-nationality) I voted Clinton.
    But I’m so sick of this polarizing attitude everyone has to other’s opinions.

    The day Trump was voted in I felt sick, not because of the election result but good people (like my sisters) showing such a complete lack of empathy in their response. Facebook became an echo-chamber of such incredible anger.
    And when people start polarizing others it creates more anger.

    I think it’s fair to say Trump won because America is angry.
    But it seems instead of trying to understand that anger, people (like my sisters) want to create more.

    I totally understand and appreciate that Trump has said and done terrible things to woman.
    But I feel like woman’s day is a celebration and not an opportunity to create hostility.

    I’m so frustrated because I’ve tried to explain that they have to respect the democratic process.
    That inciting hatred towards other people and groups is not a solution.
    But when they pull stunts like this, it just feels like I’m hitting my head against the wall.

    TLDR: how do you convince people with hateful beliefs to approach their problems with kindness.
    I used a political example. Hot topic. Don’t get too fixated on Trump in your response. Thanks in advance.

    • This topic was modified 6 years ago by Max Bye.

    Dear mrmoonhead:

    With no reference on my part to politics-

    Your question is: :how do you convince people with hateful beliefs to approach their problems with kindness?”
    In other words: how do you convince hateful people to be kind?

    How much violence, how many wars, how much abuse can be eliminated if someone had the answer to this question. An answer to this will be priceless, saving millions lives and improving the quality of many more millions.

    The verb “convince” makes this question impossible to answer- using logic to dissipate hate? Near impossible. If you want to prevent a person from committing a hateful act, try to deter that person with a real life consequence, like: losing money/ funding/ aid, prison, losing one’s home, etc.

    Other than the deterrent affect of real-life consequences, hate triumphs logic, again and again, so reveals history and current widespread violence within the family, in the streets, and in between nations.



    Hello mrmoonhead,

    It just sounds to me that you have a different opinion and threshold for wrong doing than you sisters. There is nothing wrong with that as we are all different. The point of the women’s march was to demonstrate that people will not accept human rights violations, racism, sexism, xenophobia, and hate. I am not sure where your sisters attended the march, but it was extremely peaceful. Nobody got hurt and there was no violence where I was. The problem with the democratic process is that it does not represent the opinion of three million American citizens. I believe this was the most respectful and peaceful was to disagree with Trump’s ideas. I understand what you are trying to get at, but they don’t think about it the way you do. I’m not sure about other times you have tried to explain to them why they shouldn’t respond to hate with hate, but this seems fine. I’m curious, do you think you have been wronged when people don’t see things the way you do? I will try to be helpful, but I need more information.


    I’d advice your sisters to research Bill Clinton’s sexual escapades during and after his presidency which include everything from sexual assaults to rape and how his wife was attacking those poor women who came forward with allegations of sexual assault against Bill. This was all over prime time news years ago and everyone seemed to have forgotten. Clinton makes Trump look like Mother Theresa.

    Max Bye

    Hi Annie,
    Really great response, we don’t actually disagree on our thoughts/feelings. Again, I voted Clinton.
    I am fed-up with the attitude because it’s the defacto response of those closest to me:
    “this person is an idiot”, “research this person he’s much worse”, “these people have no idea what they are doing”
    It’s this micro-status hateful solutions people seem to throw about that creates more disparity.
    If they are so angry with the result then they should find ways to change the democratic process but instead people just vent on social-media about how “they’re ashamed for this group of people”, it sometimes creates an echo-chamber of agreement but nobody does anything to change any of the underlying problems. Clinton lost but I think the system is fair and respect the result. Is it unreasonable to ask those closest to me to adopt a compassionate attitude and change the system objectively if they think it’s unfair?


    Hi mrmoonhead,

    I didn’t participate in the march (but I easily could have!) and I voted for Clinton. Which speaks volumes considering that I usually vote the other way. But our GOP option WAS that bad!

    If Clinton won and half a million Trump supporters marched all over the world, everyone would be shocked and outraged. And rightfully say that Clinton won by our electoral process.

    Well, that’s how I feel. Trump (of all people) won by our process. I didn’t march because if we want to change anything, it should be the process itself.

    To answer your question, to dilute their “Trump is an idiot” vitriol, is to (at first) agree with them.

    Say, “Yes, he is an idiot, isn’t he?”

    OMG, you are hearing them and agreeing with them! That in itself should dampen any further fiery banter.

    Later say, “Hey, what do you think of this slogan for your placard I just thought of?”

    Ask leading questions away from their hatred.

    That’s how I deal with extremism.



    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by Inky.
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