Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Do I say something or not?
- This topic has 29 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by Brandy.
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August 2, 2020 at 5:36 am #363509JoJoParticipant
Thank you ladies for your input I misunderstood my apologies. This has been a trying time for me as for everyone. I will move past this. I saw him yesterday swimming I was gardening and we talked when he got out of the pool. Again he was wearing dark navy colored swim shorts…neither his private area nor his hair there showed underneath the material whatsoever. I think he may have realized something or its just that hes not worn them again when Ive seen him. Definitely the color and manufacturer of the beige ones were the culprit and at fault here. Thank you both for helping me deal with this. This is a very good forum I am glad I found it. Jo
August 2, 2020 at 5:58 am #363511AnonymousGuestDear JoJo:
You are welcome. Anytime you want to post here or start a new thread with another topic, please do. I will be glad to read from you again and reply.
anita
August 2, 2020 at 8:46 am #363522BrandyParticipantHi JoJo,
You are welcome, and I agree that the manufacturer of the beige swim shorts is at fault. I’ve noticed myself that many of the products I purchase now are of much lower quality than they were many years ago, especially clothing. For example, trying to find a hooded sweatshirt that’s 100% cotton is challenging these days. Most are a polyester blend — it’s disappointing! Anyway, I’m glad your relationship with your neighbor continues to be a good one. Having a friendly, considerate neighbor really goes a long way.
B
August 5, 2020 at 8:05 am #363882JoJoParticipantHi Ms. B I’m just seeing your reply thank you! Its frustrating isn’t it how things are made I cant even buy quality socks without them getting misshapen after wearing a few times. All is good with my neighbor we had coffee outside this morning. Have not seen him wear those beige swim shorts again so unless a coincidence then I’m fixing to believe he must’ve became aware of it somehow possibly saw himself in the mirror that day when he went inside. You bring up a good point about polyester I didn’t think of the fabric blend. I read up on garments made of cotton, poly, and poly-cotton. It would explain why they were “clingy” on him as polyester has that tendency and if the swimwear did not have an inner liner that would account for the “see-thru” aspect due to the color beige but I still believe regardless-poly or not-if they were a dark color then his hair would not have been visible underneath any type of material whatsoever. Combination material and color without a liner my conclusion. Thank you for that info have a good day! Jo
August 5, 2020 at 9:44 am #363896BrandyParticipantHi JoJo,
You are welcome, and you have a good day too!
B
August 29, 2020 at 7:51 am #365787JoJoParticipantGood Day Ms. Brandy Ms. Anita! Hurricanes storms heat weather is terrible! I am sitting thru a rainstorm now bored decided to check back in this forum. Ive read a lot of postings and cant believe how many diverse topics there is. You both are very active here! As for my posted situation thank you again for sound advice and honest thoughts. My neighbor and I have had Saturday lunch in the outdoor picnic area where we live he is such a good neighbor and nicest guy! Today because of all this rain he is coming here later for indoor lunch and hes going to put up a new light fixture for me in the foyer. Development since my last writing. Since my first posting I have not seen those swim shorts at the times when ive seen him in the pool. Last week he finished a swim and said hi while drying off. He had tropical multicolored palm tree surfer style swimwear on really colorful lovely island theme. I said they looked nice and liked the tropical scene. He got a little red said thanks Jo and was visibly awkward. I asked if I said something wrong he said not at all and then came over and mentioned those beige shorts that started this whole thing. He told me he realized they became somewhat sheer (“sheer” my word. his words “sort of see thru”) after he wore them in the pool a second time (which I did not see I only saw the first time). He said he felt ashamed and stupid and threw them right away. He apologized for me seeing him in them and felt too embarrassed to say anything before but since I commented on the new tropical ones he just had to get it off his chest. I reassured him not to worry it was okay nothing more to say. He smiled said thank you Jo and that he had to shower and hurried inside. I felt good relieved that it was over he knew about it he wont ever wear them again but also felt bad a little guilty he definitely knows what I saw. He will be here later and I want him to be comfortable around me nothing has changed. Ladies do you think he is ok I hope this did not effect us as neighbors or our friendship. Im sure since he saw exactly what I saw – that he knows I did not see him naked and that the fabric wasn’t completely transparent but the material did get sheer enough when wet to show some of that area particularly his hair underneath. So that being said him coming here in a little while will let me know where things stand. I will make no mention and go on as i normally would any other time. Hope hes the same. Ill check back here shortly please any thoughts advice or suggestions? Thanks. Jo
August 29, 2020 at 9:49 am #365794AnonymousGuestDear Jo:
You may have already had lunch with your neighbor by the time you read this, I hope it was enjoyable. He threw away the beige shorts- you won’t have to worry about seeing him in those shorts again. Your plan to “go on as I normally would any other time” reads like a good plan to me.
I hope the weather quiets down very soon and that you had a good lunch indoors with your good neighbor protected from the rainstorm.
anita
August 29, 2020 at 1:51 pm #365800BrandyParticipantHi JoJo,
Thanks for the update. I hope your lunch today went very well. To answer your question, I think he’s a.o.k. and that this will not affect your friendship at all. It took guts to say what he did to you. I think he’s an honest and sincere person. If I were in your shoes I’d be very relaxed, happy, and friendly around him; show him that no harm was done. Sheer swim shorts could happen to anyone!
Your sharing your situation has been so helpful to me and I’m guessing other TB members as well. I now make sure that everyone in my family has high quality, non-sheer swimsuits! 🙂 I never thought about this before so thank you, JoJo.
And what a nice neighbor you have to put up a new light fixture for you today!
B
September 1, 2020 at 5:52 am #365931JoJoParticipantHi thank u Ms. Brandy & Anita for your kind encouragement! Lunch went great it was nice he seemed fine and I was relaxed. Yes my light fixture is up and looking good also! Ms. Brandy what you say about high quality non sheer swimsuits I don’t wear them I don’t swim never was a water or beach person but you make a valid point and maybe they should be checked wet in private before wearing in public I suppose unless the color is black or something. As an older mature old fashioned woman I felt wrong seeing that and felt guilty about how he would be embarrassed in front of me. It did take guts as you say Ms. brandy for him to say that to me knowing I saw what he saw when he realized what happened. Because I’m much older then he is he mustve felt the need to apologize to set the record straight. How are you making sure everyone is aware that this problem can occur? Did you recommend them to wet them and wear them first in private or maybe the bathroom? Remember his now discarded beige ones were perfectly fine and not see thru when dry it wasn’t until they got wet and out of the pool that they distinctly revealed his hair thru the fabric. I don’t think its necessary for dark or colorful ones because they shouldn’t become sheer. Glad I made you and possibly others aware of this and help avoid embarrassment it may cause the wearer and others. Jo
September 1, 2020 at 8:28 am #365937BrandyParticipantHi JoJo,
How are you making sure everyone is aware that this problem can occur?
I told them about your first post so that when they’re purchasing a new swimsuit they’ll be aware that this can occur. I learn a lot on this website and frequently share those things with them. Anyway, like me, they view this as more funny than serious, and thankfully we all have dark or colorful swimsuits. 🙂
I predict that as time goes by this situation will become less significant for you. Do you think so too?
B
September 1, 2020 at 9:32 am #365941AnonymousGuestDear Ms. Jo:
I found three websites that may interest you:
1. cosmopolitan. com/ style-beauty/ fashion/ swimsuits dilemmas solved (no spaces):
“10 Common Swimsuit Shopping Problems- Solved!….4. ‘How do I find a white swimsuit that isn’t see-through?… White swimsuits are tough.. Prints and texture can provide some camouflage on flimsier suits, but if you have fair skin with dark hair or dark nipples, that may not be enough. First and foremost, you need to check that your swimsuit is properly lined. Next, make sure the white fabric is nice and thick with a tight weave, since flimsy fabrics are much more likely to end up turning transparent when wet. And keep in mind that thicker fabrics are often more expensive, so you may need to spend a little extra to get what you want.”
2) the list. com/ prevent swimsuit disaster: “Stylist Erica Paige thinks that if you’re trying to save money on swimwear, you’re probably going to have to save yourself from a swimsuit disaster. A bargain isn’t exactly a bargain, in the long run. She told me that flimsy fabric just doesn’t fit right. ‘We all see those people at the beach or the pool wearing an ill-fitting swimsuit.. Don’t be cheap when it comes to swimwear. There’s nothing worse than wearing a swimsuit that suddenly appears see-through when wet. Buying a more expensive high quality suit keeps you from having wardrobe malfunctions.’ Paige equates high quality fabric with high quality of fit. ‘The fabric typically dries faster, and fits better.'”
3) glamour. com/gallery/ 10 white swimsuits that aren’t see through when wet: ” white swimsuit.. are notoriously see-through once they hit the water. Since no one wants to find out they’re practically naked when wet (and it’s not exactly the type of thing you can try before you buy), we did the legwork for you. We tested dozens of white swimsuits for style, fit, and, of course, the sheer factor. Of the nearly 100 we tested, we stand by these 10 suits and their perfect opaqueness…”
* I am sure that what’s true to white swimsuit fabric is also true to beige. (I hope this post gets submitted successfully, the previous one is awaiting moderation because I copied material from websites, it is the same as this one, with minor changes).
anita
September 2, 2020 at 4:54 am #365983JoJoParticipantHi Ms. Brandy yes I do. Thank you for your sincere kind advice. Jo
September 2, 2020 at 5:31 am #365984JoJoParticipantHi Ms. Anita I am amazed at all that information it is so true and makes absolute sense! Everything you copied there from those sites explain all the issues that involve swimsuits. As I said I don’t wear swimsuits I haven’t in a long long time im not a swimmer or a beach person. Everything that you posted…from quality to fabric to properly lined to texture to color to fit to expense…yes all factors when buying and wearing swimwear. No wonder I don’t! loll. Most remarkable the white swimsuits are such a problem I don’t know how anyone could wear that color…only 10 in 100 passed the test! With all this information you shared there is no doubt that people should be aware! Ms. Brandy hope you pass this all along too! I agree with your point that whats true to white fabric was also true to his beige shorts (now gone). His dark ones and the new tropical island print one ive seen since cause nothing of the sort. Ironicaly I used to read Cosmo many years ago and maybe I should subscribe to it again! What that article says about nipples is an additional reason of concern for women as well as the bottom half. In his case of course that doesn’t apply and he doesnt have fair skin but definitely his hair is dark as I mentioned before and that hair above his genital area was most obvious thru the fabric. Makes so much sense all 3 articles are excellent information thank you! Ms. Anita you’ve invested so much time I see so much effort you make in helping people here in these forums. I remember you said we are both near the same 60s age but you are much wiser and worldlier then I am. Ty! Jo
September 2, 2020 at 7:02 am #365990AnonymousGuestDear Ms. Jo:
You are very welcome and thank you for your kind words. I am sure you are wiser than me in some areas, and you are welcome to share your wisdom here anytime, as well as post again here or start a new thread with a new topic, if you would like to do so. I haven’t worn a swimsuit myself for decades as I haven’t lived in an area where it was warm enough to do so, plus I never really felt comfortable with such minimal wear.
anita
September 2, 2020 at 6:25 pm #366020BrandyParticipantYou are very welcome, JoJo.
B
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