Dear Katrine,

That’s some very good advice! The younger wounded parts of batteling with my adult self kinda.

Glad you like the idea! Yes, it is your younger self reacting out of reflex to protect herself from harm…. that strategy was necessary in the past, but now it’s not any more. Now you can protect yourself and stand up for yourself more and more. And you can also protect and soothe that little girl inside of you.

I’m trying not to take it too personally that he’s not a person who texts all the time, even my best friend is like that. It can easily take several weeks or even a month for her to reply, she’s trying to work on that.

I hope he texts more frequently than your best friend! Can you agree to have a daily check-in?

Yes, I did and still do in terms of X. I sometimes get the feeling she’s mad at me. Like when we are alone she seems fine but when other people are there she’s kinda giving me the cold shoulder. Like yesterday one of the boys wrote me asking me to go to a park, X, Y and another boy from work was going as well and I thought they knew but when I showed up X didn’t seem positive at all that I was there and whenever I talk she’s not responding to me and even looking at me. This has happened several times before, and I don’t know why

That’s weird if she is ignoring you and not responding to you. Maybe she is distracted by the group, I mean maybe someone else in the group is talking and she is paying attention to them, because they are louder or something? Or maybe she is even interested in one of those boys, and that’s why her whole attention is on him? Otherwise, I can’t think of a reason why she would suddenly be cold with you…

Am so I managed to have fun after all.

Good! Glad you’re not that affected by her strange behavior… And that people enjoy your company and like to hang out with you, such as the Canadian girl.

Sorry to hear about Y. She definitely doesn’t sound like a good candidate for the job. Because she’s not responsible, she doesn’t do the job well, people need to cover for her… Even if she is good at telling people what to do, it still doesn’t make her a good manager, because who guarantees that she’ll do her job properly? I hope she doesn’t get selected…

For me it is a bit hard to be told what to do at work by someone, who’s never actually done the work themselves. So I am worried about all the changes happening.

Have you thought about applying for that job yourself? Or you couldn’t see yourself in a managerial position?

Dear Katrine,

glad you’ve started talking on the phone with your boyfriend, and that you’re making plans for Portugal. Also good to hear his father is doing better – all great news!

It’s kinda always been like that (kinda like that other guy)

I didn’t know X behaved strangely in the past too. She did seem supportive when you had a crush on the previous guy, but I didn’t know her mood fluctuates and she can sometimes be avoidant too. I guess it has nothing to do with you, but with her own issues.

Have I understood it well that she was raped and got pregnant and had to do an abortion? That’s a horrible trauma! No wonder she is reluctant to talk about her love life. Maybe, just maybe, she is a little jealous of you now that you have a boyfriend and seem to be in a healthy relationship? Because so far you were struggling with relationships, but now this has changed, and she compares herself to you, and in hurts? I don’t know, this is just a thought… In any case, please know that it’s none of your fault if she behaves strangely around you.

Said he wanted to catch up before our girls trip to Venice on Friday.

Are you going with X and Y to Venice?

They made me café supervisor when our manager got fired, so I’m in charge of the café where I love working.

Congratulations! That’s fantastic!

I’m the only thay have positivly highlighted at every staff meeting saying I’m setting the standards, and now I’m café supervisor. People say I deserve it, they all say that the café is my domaine and noone does the same amount of work that I do.

Wow, that’s amazing that people recognize your hard work and that everyone supports you. You being the cafe supervisor is well deserved then! And you love working there too, so it’s a perfect match.

So many changes at the moment have had me overwhelmed and I only have two shifts this week not three so trying to calm myself down and not read anything into it.

I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I don’t think your position is in danger, if that’s what you’re afraid of?

She will probably get a lot of complaints because she isn’t ready for this position and it pays more so she has to step up big time.

As the f&b manager, will she be your supervisor as well? The best would be if she steps up and start taking her job seriously… But if not, I hope she won’t last long in that position…

Dear Katrine,

I wish you a safe and fun trip to Venice!

As for X, that’s sad that Y and another friend were not supportive after she was assaulted. If I am understanding this correctly, an acquaintance did it, someone she knew? May I ask if alcohol was involved? I am asking because I find it strange that she would later become good friends with him (She said they worked it out and are good friends now) unless they were both drunk and didn’t know what they were doing? It is not my intention to be insensitive, but I just can’t see how else she could forgive him and even be friends with him afterwards?

As for X’s different behavior when she is one-on-one with you, and when you’re in a group, could it be that you’re not very talkative in a group setting, and that’s why she is not paying attention to you? But you interpret it as her being mad at you (I felt she was mad at me and she didn’t really engage in conversations with me). Maybe she is not mad, but she engages more with people who are louder and more talkative?

I am so glad that you are receiving a lot of positive feedback about your work, and that it’s making you happy! Since you were made the cafe supervisor only recently, I see no reason why your job would be in danger. And if they hired 11 new people (and only 3 people left), it means there is a need for new people, i.e. the business is doing good, I’d say. This all tells me that your job is safe.

I mean just last week she started drinking at work before her shift because on of our collegues came back after three months. But she was already feeling the alcohol a bit and the top manager told her she could go join them and get the night off. I thought it looked bad, and the people working were left shorthanded during a very busy time.

That’s strange that the top manager condoned her drinking and gave her the night off. Maybe it was just this once, but it makes me wonder – could it be that she is his protegee, and that’s why she got promoted too?