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ex boyfriend partying

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 4 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #211989

    Nellie
    Participant

    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up  less than two weeks ago and now he has been partying 5 days in a row? None of us wanted to break up but it was for the best (he’s unclear about his emotions). I don’t understand how unbothered he is? It seems like he’s not even touched by the fact that we broke up? I remember him saying that he doesn’t even like to party during the relationship… and now he’s out here partying 5 days in a row? His activity on social media is also higher than ever? He posted some stuff once in awhile during the relationship but not this much? several videos and photos every single night! I try to not look but sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me :(( I feel so devastated and it seems like he doesn’t even care

    anyone knows why he is acting like this? Is he really this happy?

    #211997

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Nellie:

    I wonder if you can ask him this question and if you do ask him, will he give you an honest answer. Life would be much easier if the source of information will honestly share that information.

    If you do decide to ask him, better ask him in such a way that he will be likely to give you an honest answer, and then, better not use his honest answer against him (he will be inclined to .. not answer honestly in the future).

    (I don’t know how the communication between the two of you has been in this regard).

    anita

     

    #212035

    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Nellie,

    Guys are great at compartmentalizing things. So if he parties, he’s going to party! When he’s sad, he’s sad (but probably in the privacy of his own room).

    Also, there must be a big gap in his life where the relationship used to be. It looks like he’s merely trying to fill it up because he doesn’t know how to do that.

    Best not to lurk on social media too much. I know it’s hard.

    Blessings,

    Inky

    #212049

    Mark
    Participant

    Nellie,

    I find it best not to guess on figuring out why people behave the way they do especially with those who I no longer have a relationship with.  It’s a lot of energy that can be put towards moving on with your own life.  Ultimately it does not really matter.

    Mark

    #212463

    missus
    Participant

    Nellie,

    Boys are afraid of dealing with their emotions. Big time. Breakups are hard and the harder it is on the boy, the more he’s gonna act out (usually, through partying). He will go great lengths to prove to himself, the world and most of all you that he is ok (happy even) about the breakup and not sad at all! One could say he’s never felt better! So free! So light! But it’s all a front. From my experience, the harder the breakup, the harder they try to convince everyone how great they are.

    Do not be surprised if you see him with another girl. Men/boys need someone to sponge off those emotions that are too hard to face. It’s the same as the partying; the more they are broken up, the faster they try to find someone else to distract themselves with.

    Women do the opposite: we feel sad first and when we’re slightly better, we go out and try to live again. That boy’s gonna take much longer than you to get over the breakup because he chose to delay healing (dealing with the bad feelings, the loss, etc.).

    So I know it’s hard to look at his happy pictures of partying but know that it is an act (no matter how convincing).

    Focus on your own healing and stop looking at Facebook! Good luck

     

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