About LOVE-

What is love? Well, there’s a song with this title, it says:

“What is love? Oh, baby, don’t hurt me Don’t hurt me, no more Oh, baby, don’t hurt me Don’t hurt me, no more…
Woah-woah-woah-woah Oh-woah-woah, uh-huh Woah-woah-woah-woah Oh-woah-woah, uh-huh”-

This kind of love sounds painful and unintelligent.

So, the answer is not in that song.

Or maybe it is.

No it isn’t.

So, what is love?

I say it’s a feeling of goodwill: a friendly, helpful, cooperative attitude toward others; kindness, positive intentions. It’s not about being Right and the other being Wrong (except when it comes to harmful actions). It’s about live-and-let-live- with acceptance, kindness and tolerance of differences.

It’s about not holding grudges against others just because they have a different understanding of things.

For me, to love someone successfully means to make them FEEL accepted unconditionally, no pressure to be or become anything other than what he- or she- already is.

I said “to love successfully” right above because, well, like the song I started this post with.. love can hurt. Well, if it hurts, it was unsuccessful.

Life hurts, Love doesn’t hurt.

anita

Dear Alessa:

Thank you! I am glad your son is getting better!

“People are fallible and make mistakes. The need for unconditional love is a human need.”- very true, Alessa. So very true.

“When lives are not compatible it is necessary to part ways, so everyone can move on and be happy.”- I wonder if this means what I think it means, based on things you shared and later deleted. If it means what I think it means, I am sorry, Alessa. This must be very difficult for you. I wish it wasn’t what (I think) it is.

It makes me sad (again, I am assuming I know the context) because of all the positive things you shared in the past about the relationship, all your loving and caring emotions and thoughtfulness.

You are strong to be going through this and yet being as caring and empathetic as you are here, in the foorums. You are the bee’s knees, Alessa! ❤️

anita

Dear Peter:

“Life hurts when we measure ‘love’ and entangle it with attachment, fear, and dependency. Perhaps a cosmic view”- I see why you stay away from getting entangled in attachment and why the cosmic view is attractive. I think that it will do me some good to get more into the cosmic view of love. It’s comforting.

“’Where there is love, there is no pain, no conflict. Pain arises when love is entangled with the self.’ – Krishnamurti”- Untangled Peter is a Free Peter, or freer..?

“As you have hinted it’s possible, if not likely, I hide behind the cosmic view to avoid pain of vulnerability”- hiding is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, it’s a good thing. It’s a good thing to hide from a threat, a threat like getting entangled and losing control, or agency.

“Yet since engaging with the question ‘What’s love got to do with it’ (referred to in other posts) I haven’t escape pain and in some ways feel it more deeply if… different.”- .. entangled in cosmic love?

I may be talking nonsense, right above, Cosmic No- Sense (CNS). I wrote whatever came to mind, untangling myself from the need to make sense 😊

anita

I understand, Alessa. I didn’t at all expect you to share. Just wanted to let you know that I care and wish you well ✨️

You have interesting thoughts about love and emotional complexity. I agree- it is important to hold space for all of our feelings. ❤️

Anita

8:37 pm, no sign of darkness, no Sign of Sunset. The light outside is absolute.

I don’t have heavy curtains that block the sun at 8- 9- 10 pm.

Don’t feel comfortable with wearing sun blockers when trying to sleep.

And it’s only early June, it’s going to get so much sunnier at 9 pm, 10 pm, 11 pm.

I mean, no sign of darkness.

I hear of prisons where the Light is always On.

I miss darkness, gentle darkness, the signal that yes.. time to go to bed.

The persistent, stubborn light..!

Too close to Alaska.

* In northern Alaska, places like Utqiaġvik (formerly Barrow) experience 24-hour daylight for about 82 days straight, from early May to late July-

24-hours daylight.. I should be grateful for 5 hours of darkness hours per NDAD in the summer. More than they get up there.

Problem is, if I move south, I will be stuck in summers where it’s too HOT and too HUMID to get outside for half of the year, at the least, so people live vampire-like-lives, going outdoors only at nights.

Climate Change or whatever it is.

So, I’d rather be here, south of Alaska, because I CAN go out and about during the day, which I greatly appreciate!

9:03 pm here. Still no darkness. But not that much light as before.

9:15 pm here, still not dark, still light. Climate-change-panic-moment.

Two whole hours before it get’s dark.

Wait, somewhat darker, spring-time-darkness, 9:20 pm.

It’s just that I need some darkness so to go to bed.

The birds start their LOUDEST singing at about 3- 4 am. it’s hard to schedule one’s life around all these..

9:42 pm, yes! It happened, DARK, finally, it just happened- DARKNESS just happened, June 3rd, 9:48 pm, better go to bed

Good night- Anita

Anita

Dear Alessa:

Thank you! It really does take conscious effort to choose love over fear, but every small step in that direction matters. ❤️

I absolutely love how your boy expresses joy with LOVE!—that’s such a beautiful and pure way to see the world. His little moments of happiness are a reminder of how simple and wholehearted love can be. What a precious perspective to witness. 💛

Sending warmth your way! Anita