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Feeling a bit inferior

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • #49333
    teamoi
    Participant

    Hello everybody , thank you for taking the time to read this , I am new on here and I hope I can find the help and support I was looking for. Where I come from it is an embarrassment to your family and yourself if you walk around talking about your problems so its really hard to find people. Anyways my entire life I have been feeling so inferior to everyone I meet, I feel scared and like I am shaking even if somebody asks me a question that is not insulting at all but I tend to freak out fast and quickly think about what kind of reaction they are expecting from me and then I act on that afterwards I feel so sad and guilty for not being true to myself. And sometimes when I do try to give my opinion once I see them get offended or really defensive of their belief I back down and freak out. Maybe its because I dont speak the language so well so I am afraid that no matter how confident I am they will not understand me. It has been something I have been suffering with my entire life and I am sick of it I cant give my opinions, talk to anybody or stand up for myself at all. Even when I try to stand up for myself I say something stupid and I am naturally a loyal person but when someone talks or insults someone I care about I will laugh because I am so scared of their reaction instead of defending them. And with eye contact it its so hard to maintain when I walk I dont know where to look at anymore if my eyes look at someone by mistake I’ll stare and when they look I freak out and I know that everyone can tell I look inferior because they treat me like I am …
    Help me please I don’t know how to stop feeling inferior and afraid of everyone:(

    #49342
    Friend4Life
    Participant

    Hi there ….. when i read ur post …. my first thought was …. Dats exactly what i have gone through and am going through currently (sometimes) ……. I always keep a happy and a smiling face infront of everyone … but no one to share my thoughts or problems with…. In my experience …. as i dont have any close friends on whom i can reply on …. i took help from Internet where i started reading blogs … motivational websites …… i purchased Heal ur life book written by Louise Hay which helped me lot. the book actually changed my attitude towards myself and others. I am very obese …. so yes i feel inferior when i step out of my house …. but my thought process says … Do not care what others think abt U ….. i am special in my own way ….. i also say and read daily affirmations which keeps me positive …… It helps ….
    After reading ur post the 1st thing i can tell U is … stop feeling inferior …. make a list of all good things abt U …. U r unique and special ….. remember no one can make u feel inferior unless u allow them to ….. so keep ur head high …. U r special in ur own way … there is no another U …… Keep smiling !!! Good Luck.

    #49369
    Laura G. Jones
    Participant

    Teamoi, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It stinks to live your life according to other people’s rules, and it’s not fair to you or them.
    You have value just by virtue of the fact that you were born. You have the same value as everyone else on the planet – even a king or a big-shot CEO. Spiritually and emotionally speaking, you are equal to them. On the inside, we’re all made of the same things.

    One thing you need to realize is that everyone also has fear and doubt. You’re not alone in feeling inferior. Most people sadly feel inferior. So that person who is judging you is judging you from their own pain, because it helps them feel less inferior. Every time people try to hurt you it’s because they are lashing out from their own pain and shame.

    Another thing you should know is that everything in life is there for a reason. You are experiencing these things because your soul chose for you to experience them. In fact, you are essentially creating these feelings for yourself. No one can hurt you without your consent, so you are basically hurting yourself through your projections on other people. Sometimes this inner pain can be the best catalyst for change and growth – the only reason why I know for sure that I can help people is because I know their pain.

    What I encourage you to do is write down your fears and doubts: what are you really afraid of? What’s going to happen if you speak your mind? What can be the worst that can happen? Practice awareness and see your fears trying to protect you, but learn to take charge of them so you can be true to yourself.

    #49374
    teamoi
    Participant

    Thank you Akshata its nice to know that someone else understands how I feel I’ll definitely try the exercises you said about and try to think more positively and look for that book by Louis hay !
    Thank you Laura G Jones for answering , yeah it really is bothering to always feel so scared of people at all times! I have made some mistakes in the past and maybe I’m always afraid people are going to remind me of what I did before and so I freak out. And it makes sense what you said about experiencing these things because my soul chose them ! And also I will try to answer the questions ! But when it comes to what I think is going to happen if I speak my mind , is that I fear there will be a very annoying argument that I will not be able to win , because my mind blanks when I’m fighting or defending myself !
    Thank you again guys !

    #49389
    memm
    Participant

    I think it’s important to achieve a certain mental attitude before standing up for yourself to other people. If you are wavering in your beliefs, if you feel self-doubt or have low self-esteem or even arrogance, then standing up for yourself is a very difficult task.

    Without knowing yourself how do you know who you’re standing up for?

    I think the mind blanks when we are not calm. When calm you’re not worried about who you’re standing up to or what to say, you can take all the time in the world to come up with a response that suits your beliefs. We often think the fastest response is the best one, but that is not true, it’s about saying the right things, however long it takes and having inner comfort.

    It’s not about who or what you are up against, work on your inner self and it will radiate outwards through words and actions.

    So if you want to be able to stand up for yourself you have to know what it is you’re standing up for and why.

    Also only very small individuals bring other people down, they just want to feel big, even when they have achieved a lot, they still remain tiny on the inside. They also just want to be happy, the same as you, but their methods never grew.

    #49390
    teamoi
    Participant

    Thank you memm , that makes sense, but how can I decide what I’m going to stand up for every second, maybe they come to me and say something that I don’t know how I feel about , say I never thought about it before or something… Or if they insult someone I love right infront of me , how could I answer back if its not really my business? I hope you understand what I mean , and thank you again 🙂

    #49397
    memm
    Participant

    So just say you don’t know, or you’ve never thought about it before. It’s the truth, they can’t do anything about it and neither can you.

    When it comes to defending other people it can be very complicated indeed and I would think depends too much on the situation and the people in question. It’s difficult to say anything about this.

    I suppose you should do what you feel is the right thing to do. What makes you feel good about yourself as a person and you can be proud of, sometimes that’s more important than the consequences.

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