I know that I shouldn’t compare my life to others… That every timeline is different and all that. But I feel very depressed because everyone around me is getting married, having kids, my sister has a good relationship that goes forward, and I… nothing. Even when I had a relationship, they never a true relationship, like traveling together, meeting each other’s parents, friends, I experienced that as a normal relationship should. Now I am starting to get more and more frustrated, envious of everyone cause I am not moving forward. I feel stuck, very bad, and behind in everything. Can’t figure out where to live. If I love the current company I work at, can’t find someone that I really like or is similar to me, I have trouble with friends, lost a lot of friends because I started setting boundaries and telling how I feel… I feel like I am nowhere. Like I cannot enjoy life at all, cannot be joyful because I feel like there is a mist in my head. I hate my life right now, and I think of ending it because I can’t see a solution to my problems. I just don’t see how to change it. I live in a country where there are not many opportunities, I can’t emigrate that easily, and I am weird, different from the majority. I don’t know if I have some kind of autism, OCD, or anything that keeps me this way, but I really do not know where to start, so something can move. I feel like my ex before my ex was the kind of partner and life I want, but I know it’s just wishful thinking because of the state I am now. The relationship was not perfect because we had a lot of ups and downs, but I still cling on, and I know that he has moved on 100%.

I don’t know where to start… what to do….How to change anything. Seriously, I feel like there is no way that my life would improve.