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Feeling invisble again

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  • July 17, 2017 at 6:06 pm #158714
    Wyn
    Participant

    I can’t learn to like myself I’ve been trying for the past two years trying yoga and meditation, but there is nothing there. I just Don’t like anything about myself. The boy thing I’ve been doing my entire life is trying to make people like me, I can’t stop.  I feel like nothing is real or has a point I can’t stop randomly crying and my stomach is invaa constant knot. Nothing about me is authentic. I feel like I only do things so people will see them and to try to like me. Despite this I have no one. I have no one who I can share what’s going on. I Don’t think I really enjoy anything and i can’t seem to find any joy. I don’t know what it is in missing. I feel sometimes like in not here at all. Just trapped inside a dark tunnellooking at. This became really self partying and I see that but I just needed to share with someone, I feel like I’m losing my mind.

    July 18, 2017 at 10:15 am #158806
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Wyn:

    You wrote that nothing about you is authentic, that you don’t know what is missing- well, the authentic you is missing from your life. Trying to please others being your focus, you keep your authentic self “trapped inside a dark tunnel”.

    How to free your authentic self from the dark tunnel is the question, isn’t it? There is a way to do so. Best place would be in quality psychotherapy. Do you have such an option?

    anita

    July 19, 2017 at 6:54 pm #159088
    Mark
    Participant

    Hey Wyn,

    Maybe you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe all this searching for authenticity and trying to make people like you is taking away all the fun and possibility in life. Creating possibility is one of the best antidotes to loneliness and depression. It sounds like perhaps there is something in your life you need to move on from. If you know what you need to change, perhaps you could take a gradual approach toward moving away from it, toward the person who you want to become. I actually wrote a page on the person who I want to become (a philosopher named Epictetus advised doing this in the great book “The Art of Living”, which you might want to check out) and it can be very cathartic and guiding as you look ahead, and not backwards. One of the pieces of advice that changed my life that I read in that book is “Know what you can control, and what you can’t, and focus on what you can.” You can’t change anything that you’ve done, but you can control your actions and decisions as you move forward toward that person who you want to become. I think you’ll find the more you start to move toward that person, the more the right people will begin to come into your life. Focus on the hope out there, instead of being pulled into negative thinking.

    T.H. White once wrote: “The best thing for being sad is to learn something.” Those little pockets of “learning time” can be so valuable when we are feeling down. What do you want to learn?

    Maybe finding what you love doesn’t have to be so complicated. What makes you feel right in life? For me I like to just sort of walk around and listen and think, or not. It wasn’t something I “discovered”, but sort of fell into. I think being outside, in nature can be really spiritual and natural, and the act of listening may be one of the best things for healing and moving ahead.

    July 21, 2017 at 5:24 pm #159494
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Wyn,

    You can learn to like and even love yourself. Is there any way you can get out a peice of paper out? In a column write down things that people have said to you..a compliment. I am sure over your lifetime, you have had several compliments. Has anyone told you you have a nice smile? Write that down. A good listener? Write that down. Are you a good friend? Write that down? Are you musical, creative, any kind of compliment that you have received, write it down. Write down all those compliments, put them on sticky notes, and put them around your house/apartment where you can see them everyday. I do this. I have some on my bathroom mirror. My therapist had me to this exercise, and I gradually started to love myself.

    When you say you have noone, what does that mean? Does that mean, no family?

    IOn another column, write down things that excite you. Start off, what excited you, and what you loved doing as a child. I remember, I used to love to draw when I was a child and recently started taking some oil painting classes. What things that you do now makes you excited? Just by writing things down, provides hope and purpose/meaning. We are all here for a reason.

    July 23, 2017 at 2:59 pm #159756
    Rosilly
    Participant

    Wyn

     

    I notice you havent reacted to any of your responses. I hope you are ok.

    I feel invisible too sometimes. Maybe because nobody wants to see the real me. Suffering from a low period can be very hard on those around you.

    Please take some of the advice offered you really deserve to like and im fact love yourself. You would not be human if you didmt have self doubt at times. Please be easy on yourself. Learn to love everything about yourself not just your good points.

     

    August 19, 2017 at 6:53 am #164660
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Wyn,

    How are you doing? I hope you are feeling better. Please feel free to post anytime.

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