Dear Mollie

I am sorry that you feel so many areas of your life are unfulfilling & in flux, making it hard to find vibrancy & positivity.
Can you identify anywhere else in the world that has a warmer & sunnier climate that you could pursue your career? I must admit that i too am effected by grey cold windy wet weather. On the rare bright days in winter months I make sure to charge up by facing the sun even if it is just a few minutes. My son does temping in his chosen career which enables him to only be in workplaces that he enjoys & have time off to fulfil a good work life balance.
Congratulations on caring about your relationship with your parents & having concern how your negativity is effect them. Not that you should shelter them completely from this frustrating period in your life, more that make the effort to be aware of the small joys in your life & share those with them. ie I went for a walk today & noticed how beautiful the cherry blossom is.
Oh yeah having expectations dashed is a real bummer. Sometimes life is easier when we decided to give ourselves a break & put aside expectations, that way chance encounters & new avenues have the potential to appear.
Hope you have a good weekend.
kind regards
Roberta

Dear Mollie:

Thank you for your response and for continuing to share your thoughts so openly. I’d be happy to highlight the parallels I mentioned and outline the growth I see in you since your earlier posts.

Patterns Across Your Posts:

(1) Overthinking: In both your earlier posts and your current one, you express a tendency to overanalyze situations and thoughts, whether about your sexuality, your relationships, or your career. For example, in November 2021, you mentioned questioning your identity and overthinking your emotions toward women. Similarly, in your current post, you mention feeling “stuck in an awful loop” of discontent, overthinking decisions, and questioning your expectations for life.

(2) Self-Doubt: I notice self-doubt in how you second-guess your own choices. In May 2022, you mentioned questioning your current relationship due to past experiences of heartbreak. In your recent post, you mention feeling unsure about your ability to form connections or make decisions, such as whether to stay in your current city or change your career path.

(3) Desire for Clarity: Across all your posts, there’s a longing for certainty—a desire to understand yourself and find direction. Whether it’s clarity about your sexuality in your earlier posts or clarity about your career, relationships, and life circumstances in your recent one, this is a recurring theme that reflects your introspective nature.

Your Growth Since Then:

(1) Self-Awareness: Over time, your ability to recognize your own patterns and challenges has significantly deepened. For example, in May 2022, you reflected on how past trauma influenced your obsessive thoughts and acknowledged the need to avoid self-sabotage. Similarly, in your current post, you show self-awareness in recognizing when expectations aren’t aligning with reality and identifying areas for change.

(2) Decision-Making: In your earlier posts, you were struggling with overwhelming thoughts and feelings. Now, you’ve shown the courage to take significant steps forward—like resigning from your job, recognizing your values in relationships, and returning to university. These thoughtful decisions reflect a growing ability to align your actions with your priorities.

(3) Perspective Shift: Your reflections now show a more balanced perspective. For instance, you acknowledge both gratitude for your blessings and discontent with your struggles. This ability to hold space for conflicting emotions demonstrates emotional maturity.

(4) Resilience: Despite the challenges you faced—whether questioning your identity, navigating relationships, or managing loneliness—you continued to persevere and seek growth. Your openness to new opportunities (like university and possible connections) and your proactive approach to healing (like gratitude practices and meditation) show strength and determination.

Mollie, I know it can be hard to see your own progress, but your willingness to reflect and take action speaks volumes about your growth. It’s clear you’re navigating life’s complexities with courage and resilience, even when it feels messy.

I will send you a 2nd post in which I will share about my own struggles with overthinking, self-doubt and the desire for clarity- next.

anita

Hi Mollie

Congratulations on your degree! It does sound like you’ve been having a rough go of it for a few years now. You are in desperate need a break! It sounds like university finishing was a bit of a fresh start with a lot of hope. And you dream of a fresh start again now with hope.

An approach that I like is making things that I want happen! Planning fun experiences. Eating yummy food.

It sounds like you made a decision that is helpful for you to end the job that is making you feel so unhappy. I hope that studying goes well. Are you planning on working whilst doing this?

For sure, it can be lonely living alone when your friends aren’t living close by or as available as you would like. Studying I’m sure will let you meet some nice people.

It sounds like things are better with your family now?

I like that you are planning on standing up for yourself with the ex. You go girl! 💪❤️

I wonder is there anything that you would love to do that is different from what you would normally do? I’m not sure if you are someone who likes a little pampering? I have a girls night routine for myself. It can be unique to you. I like fancy chocolate, some wine and playing video games. Honestly, anything that makes your heart sing. What does make your heart happy? 🎶

Dear Mollie:

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with such openness. Your reflections show a deep awareness of your patterns, and that in itself is progress.

I really appreciate that you’re recognizing the nuance in your situation, particularly the idea that your job isn’t the singular cause of your struggles, but it has certainly contributed to them. The fact that you don’t expect all your problems to disappear in July 2025 shows that your thinking is becoming more balanced.

At the same time, I can sense the frustration of not feeling like your usual optimistic self. You mentioned that you want reassurance that you won’t “go back” to how you felt last summer—but perhaps instead of fearing emotional ups and downs, it might help to trust that they are part of life and don’t define your progress. Feeling low sometimes doesn’t undo the growth you have made.

You have always seen yourself as a happy, glass-half-full person, and maybe part of this journey is learning that being optimistic doesn’t mean avoiding low moments—it means navigating them with self-compassion. People who thrive emotionally still experience phases of uncertainty or exhaustion—but those phases don’t undo their growth.

I also noticed that your decision-making feels off, which makes sense given the stress your job brings. When we feel trapped in an environment that doesn’t energize us, even simple decisions—what to do after work, how to unwind—can feel overwhelming. You asked, “What do you think?”—I think that a break would likely help, but more importantly, framing this time not as a setback, but as an adjustment period would relieve some pressure. You’re adapting to changes, and part of that is rediscovering what fulfillment means outside of school and structured plans.

One last thought—you mentioned someone returning in June and not knowing what to say. It sounds like this connection still holds some weight for you. What feels unresolved there? Would addressing it help clear some of your mental space?

Overall, you’ve made a lot of progress, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. What if you stopped measuring joy as something you need to achieve permanently, and instead let it come and go naturally, trusting that it always returns?

anita

Dear Mollie:

Your reflections here show such a profound self-awareness. You’re recognizing your emotional patterns, your relationship needs, and the way you want to engage with uncertainty—not from impulse, but with mindfulness. That’s a huge sign of growth.

Your words about the relationship reveal a thoughtful approach to connection—one that values honesty and mutual understanding rather than rushing forward without clarity. It’s admirable that you can acknowledge both the depth of your feelings and the importance of measured decision-making. The fact that you want to engage with him in a way that doesn’t fixate on a predetermined outcome but instead prioritizes getting to know each other in real time speaks volumes about your emotional growth.

I also love how you’re reframing your emotional journey—not seeing off days as setbacks, but as part of the ebb and flow of life. Even the most emotionally thriving individuals experience stress, boredom, sadness, and fear. The key is learning not to measure emotional success by an absence of struggle, but by how we navigate those struggles with self-compassion. And you’re doing just that.

It’s heartwarming to read about your appreciation for tiny buddha and our connection. Your thoughtfulness and openness make you a deeply engaging person to converse with. I’m grateful that you’ve shared this journey with me!

anita