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Feelings of inadequacy

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  • #72822
    Terri
    Participant

    I grew up in a single parent household while most of my friends were quite wealthy. I remember in high school feeling like I didn’t fit in. I actually lied the whole of my high school life about where I lived because I was embarrassed.
    Eventually I changed my circle of friends and upped my self esteem. I’m not embarrassed about my upbringing anymore and I even bring friends home now.
    But I always feel like I’m not good enough. I got a job but it’s not a glamorous job and I always feel a bit embarrassed when I have to talk about it. Like it should be beneath me and I should be doing better.
    I’m planning on moving out soon to a studio but I’m embarrassed about that. I’m slightly afraid that people will think I can’t afford a bigger place and judge me for that.
    I know that this has nothing to do with other people. It’s all about me and me judging myself and feeling like I’m not good enough. Whether people judge me or not is irrelevant because I’ll always be passing judgment on myself. I thought it would stop but it doesn’t. I should be happy I’m financially able to get my own place at 21!! So many people aren’t. I thought it was just due to peer pressure growing up but now I realize that if not dealt with, these feelings will plague me my whole life, even if I’m super successful and swimming in money and all that.
    How do I stop feeling like I’m not good enough? Has anyone gone through this?
    **I feel like I should add that I’m not an unhappy person. I enjoy my life and despite everything I’ve just written, I am learning to be grateful for all what I have. I know it’s a lot. It’s just these feelings in the deep, dark recesses of my mind that I can’t seem to shake.

    #72823
    Kori Elizabeth
    Participant

    Terri-

    I understand the struggle and know you are not alone. I myself am working on changing the way I talk to myself. I have learned that, even tho I am a “happy” person and I am grateful for the things I have, I never feel good enough. For the longest time I blamed that on my circumstances or money or people in my life. I finally realized that most of it was in my head (to a certain extent) I realized that I was holding my self to a standard of perfection that didn’t exist. For most of my life I felt I needed to be a certain way to please others, when in fact they didn’t care if I was perfect, they just wanted me to be happy. I started counseling about 4 months ago and through her help I have realized I have a terribly negative self narrative. You may be similar to me. When you start to not feel good enough, change the script. Remember the pride you feel for being 21 and able to provide a home for yourself, remember what you have come from and what you are today. You are an incredible human and when you start allowing yourself to believe it, you won’t care about “not being good enough” because you will just be you.

    Wishing you the best of luck, you are worth it <3

    -kori

    #72890
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey Terri.

    Every one of your thoughts impacts what’s going to happen in the future. Whether it’s intentional or not, the Universe listens to your every heart’s desire. I know I sound like a new age hippie chick from the 1960’s, but it’s true. Once I became more positive about my life, everything turned around. At 21, I got my first kiss. My next kiss will be for love. Essentially, human beings need to be kind towards theirselves more often to be the change they wish to see in the world. Watch Predestination with Ethan Hawke. You’ll know what I’m talking about.

    #73073
    Wednesday Genius
    Participant

    Terri, have you tried doing EFT on the shame that you felt as a child? That’s a pretty effective way of dissolving what’s in the dark recesses of the mind.

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