I do 🙂 Mostly because I am also a flirt by nature. But for me, flirting is just how I communicate. Im completely straight, and I speak the same way with both males and females. But I am also super clear on my intentions with others, and make sure my significant others feel secure, safe, and know without a doubt that I would never cheat.

But I dont feel its for everyone. Some couples are comfortable with flirting. Others are not. I personally feel its a matter of preference. Actions that make you uncomfortable in a partner will make it difficult for your relationship to succeed.

I can understand that. I actually struggled with my flirtatious personality for a while. I dont want to make others uncomfortable or get the wrong impression. The problem is — I dance salsa. I love dancing and its one of my main forms of release from a rough day, but salsa is a pretty flirtatious dance. It’s just the way it is. So, in order to continue living my life in a way that makes me happy, I have chosen to be with partners who are not jealous and understand that it means nothing to me other than good natured fun. I think what makes it easy for them is that I am very honest with them, and I make sure everybody knows I am taken. I also make a point of showing to others that my partner is my priority when he comes with me dancing. I want them all to know that I have no intentions with them. And I talk about my boyfriend all the time, so its generally pretty clear 🙂 Also, I act exactly the same way in front of him as I do when hes gone, so theres no hidden agenda there.

“Why take the chance” is a completely valid feeling, but what is flirting is part of your hobbies, your job, your lifestyle? I have a friend who is a barista, for example. She is in a happily committed relationship, but at the end of the day, she only makes tips if she flirts. So she flirts. How do you view this?

Tami I can TOTALLY relate to this (which is funny coming from the other side of things as the person who is usually the flirt).

I think its awesome that you recognized where the jealousy comes from. The question is- what causes the lack of trust and the low self esteem? Is it something from your past that you can work on, or is it something your partner has done to make you feel this way?

I have had partners in the past that have made me feel more insecure, and I became a more jealous person because of it. I have also unfairly become jealous based on expectations I have carried over from previous cheating boyfriends. At the end of the day, I was able to overcome these things through conversation with my boyfriend at the time, and through introspection.

Hell, I still struggle with this from time to time. My current boyfriend has friendships with some of his exs (which I am actually okay with – I do as well. i think its a good sign that his exs still wanted a friendship), but on occasion I get jealous and try to understand why so I can work on it 🙂 My partner is very loyal– so I know this time it is not coming from him, but instead coming from my past experiences and insecurities. It’s an ongoing journey!

If what you would like it accomplish here is to work on self-esteem, I would recommend starting from the origins. It seems to be working for me 🙂

Your relationship sounds beautiful and strong, and I really admire you for taking the initiative to become more confident! Thats wonderful Tami 🙂

Happy to help anytime I can ! Hope you keep posting 🙂 It also helped me to read your perspective.