I agree!!!!!!!! In this world we all have anxiety about one thing or another or several things. But i believe that there are always ways to cope and lessen that panic we may feel. The coping is the thing that we should concentrate on more. It is great that you have an awareness of what you are feeling and how your thoughts and actions can impact your attitude/ emotional state. I think its a normal thing especially growing up in a world that filled with things that are out of our control. There is a pressure in adulthood that is not discussed and this physode that others around us have it all under control.And they dont no one has all the answers but we can identify better healthier coping skills and remedy some of what stresses us.

It seems as though you are at the first step in a good place where you can continue to identify what you want, where you want to be emotionally and yes positive thoughts that change it all. But not over night either( to echo the above comments) Forgiving yourself is key! You arent alone! You are human and if you didn’t care you wouldn’t have the potential to change and grow past the place you are in now!!!! You are a carer thats amazing we need more people like that but maybe you dont have to be a worrier.

Personal disclosure: I had my first anxiety attack at at 26 years old. I am a social service provider and life is harder than people make it seem. We take on alot daily. Its going to spill out sometimes. But it also was a wake up call to realize that im fragile and human and have shortcoming, deadlines i wont meet sometimes, things i cant control and it helped me realize its ok! And im telling you its ok!!!!! You will find your way. It already seems like you aren’t letting anxiety stop you!
when I feel overwhelmed i learned to have my go to calm things i enjoy to relax and in the situation where i feel like im losing it and my hearts beating fast. i say ” I am alive, I am not in any Immediate danger Im ok”. And it helps me fight off some of the fear and realize im safe and pulls me back down to a grounded space. Hope this helps.

Aschristyseesit,

So much of what you wrote resonated with me. I’ve had social anxiety and general anxiety for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it’s barely there and manageable. Other times, it makes me want to run and hide away. It makes me feel so physically and emotionally ill that sometimes I don’t even know how I manage to go through the motions of life. I can say for certainty that there are spells during which I find myself aggravated, irritated, worried, and upset just about everything. I find myself nitpicking myself and my experiences.

However, practicing mindfullness and taking it one day at a time, has greatly helped me. I still have bad days, but it has gotten so much better that quite honestly, sometimes I forget about how much I used to hate/fear doing certain things.

I agree with Inky in that we live in society that seeks to blame the victim. However, we also live in a society in which it is unacceptable to be happy with one self or one’s life. It seems as though society wants everyone to be miserable. You can’t post a good picture about yourself, or say something without offending someone/inviting them to berate you on how privileged or selfish you are. I’ve seen so many people get backlash over sharing a good moment in their life. One that comes to mind is a man who had lost a significant amount of weight and was happy to share his progress. Some commended him for his efforts, other said he was showing off, that others had done better, etc. Another woman shared a picture of herself while being pregnant saying how she managed to stay in shape and eat healthy. A lot of people were rude and said she was putting her child in danger, that she wasn’t eating enough, that it wasn’t healthy, that she was offending those who were not lucky enough to have the same results etc.

Continually I see more and more people attacking each other for being happy with themselves and their lives. It’s sad that we continuously tear each other down for being happy. We should aim to build each other up, not tear each other down. Sadly, I hear so many people say that, while bashing someone, and then they say they are not bashing anyone, it’s happened to me. However, I honestly mean it.

What I am trying to say is, I don’t find it strange at all that you seem to seek to make yourself feel guilty. I don’t mean that to be harsh at all. I’ve been there and felt that way. What I am trying to say is that it is becoming more and more common for people to blame themselves. I don’t like that at all. Why are we so intent on getting people to hate themselves/make themselves guilty?

I also agree with Inky in regards to being ashamed of my anxiety and then being ashamed because I was ashamed. I’ve felt that so often, that I didn’t know what to make of it, and I just ended up feeling a lot more frustrated.

Yes, you can be that carefree individual you want to be. However, that won’t be everyday. Some days you’ll feel amazing, others not so much. You just have to learn that the anxiety will always be with you, I don’t believe it’s something that will go away completely but it does become manageable. I don’t think it will haunt you your whole life, so long as you don’t let it control you. While you do have to validate your guiltiness and remorse, etc. you cannot let it control you. You have to accept it and try to move past it.

Wow, what great advice on this board. I just wanted to add a few things. First, if there were more supportive communities like this I don’t think there would be so much anxiety and unnecessary suffering in the world. I have hope for the future because of communities like this.

I also just wanted to reiterate that a lot of the times we make things worse by the things we add to our anxiety. I think if you tried to turn toward your suffering more and work with it you will begin to find more peace. I know you just want to be happy and carefree. I know. I know how scary your emotions can get when you feel overwhelmed — that’s why it’s good to find people who you can talk with and support you. Stay present — when we “time travel” in our head too much to our past worries or future anticipations we cause ourselves a great deal of unnecessary suffering — I don’t think people know how much. Good luck!

Hey Aschristyseesit,

While turning 20 I developed anxiety disorder and started having panic attacks as well. I had just broken up my 4 year old relationship with my boyfriend, which was intoxicating and demanding on me and was finally free and happy out of something poisoning. Myself, just like you, had EVERYTHING to be happy and still anxiety caught me in a corner. Now, at age 24, it came back under a different shape, with a constant sense of anxiety rather than sudden anxiety rages as before.
Most people here will probably be able to give you some real practical advice over what you are going through, as I personally am here just to show you that this is more common than anyone in the world can imagine and you are not alone. Something that helped me before was realizing that I had an emptiness inside of me I couldn’t quite figure out what it was, till I recognized it was my own.
So my anxiety is definitely related to my lack of self-esteem, self-confidence and fear of taking my life forward. And knowing this process always starts from the inside out and it’s an emergency alert status your soul shows you in order for you to fix a major piece of that which is broken…

I hope I could help 🙂 and thank you for sharing your fears with us all!