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Further from my self than ever before…

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  • July 6, 2014 at 8:24 pm #60307
    MysteryA
    Participant

    Hi All,
    I figured this would be a good place to release some of these thoughts and gain some perspective, outside of my head. This past winter I struggled a lot with depression, a lot had to do with the weather, but also issues I was dealing with with my family & life in general.
    Now, I feel I am back at that point again. I have chosen to isolate myself from friends, as well as not engage myself in anything that once made me happy. I feel weak, especially having a psych. degree, knowing proper steps that need to be taken to get me out of this funk but I just can’t seem to get myself up to it.
    I recently accepted an offer to a new job that will definitely begin a new chapter in my life. When I received the news, I was very happy, but the happiness resided and now as I await training I don’t feel much towards it. I try to tell my friends a little bit as to what is going on and they are “there for me” but they don’t really understand; when I explained I felt this way they said I have so much to be happy about: new job, education, promising future. But, I just can’t seem to see it.
    I have been dealing with acne outbreaks for the past 6 months which have definitely gotten to my self-esteem, and I’m trying to see through it, but I know it’s a factor. I constantly am evaluating what I say when I talk to people and if they like me, etc.
    I tried to get myself out of it today when I woke up, I told myself it’s a new day, lets go! I was able to get outdoors and exercise for a bit but as time went on I just ended up passing up invites to stay at home and read.

    Btw, I just turned 23 which I realized I didn’t really express much excitement about either…

    Working in the mental health field, I feel disappointed that this is an issue and that I’m considering seeing a therapist.

    Anyone around this age or when you were transitioning experience this? I have never felt more distant from my true-self: optimistic, determined, nature-loving, environmentally caring woman… Now I just seem to be stuck in my head.

    July 6, 2014 at 9:38 pm #60316
    Big blue
    Participant

    Hi Ashley,

    I think I’m an optimistic, determined, nature-loving, environmentally caring man. As an example, I took that picture that is my avatar. It was a sunset in my neighborhood.

    Thinking back to when I was 23, things were pretty good for me, but at other times I’ve had issues like you. I know a little about what you are going through, and I’ve got some questions for you.

    I’ve had a chronic skin problem for my adult life. It’s not easy. Your acne, if it persists or leaves you imperfect, will this help you to understand your patients? Granted that you will not personalize your sessions, but will seeing that you have coped with this challenge somehow inspire your patients?

    I’ve been really down – not quite clinically depressed, and knowing I needed help, I went to counselors or psychologists. What happens when you have some tough cases, and stress gets to you, or you make a mistake that has consequences, will you have someone to turn to for some heavy lifting re: your own support and self care?

    When entering a new chapter in my life, more than once, I’ve been excited and also had fears. This odd mix does not sit well. It comes with change. It is amplified and can be detrimental, if you don’t have a balanced life. By that, I mean family, friends, hobbies, exercise, vacations, sports, community affairs, etc. … so, it can help to prepare as much as possible for your challenges in your work. And, for your new job, can you get busy with clothes, readings, learning about your employer, talking to those who went before you…? In the future you might change employers, or go through other changes that present a new chapter – will it help if you have some practical strategies to move through the change?

    In short Ashley, could the challenges that you are facing now actually help you and others? If you do some reframing, does this make sense? Tell me what you think ok?

    By the way, congrats on your new job. Where are you going to celebrate? Who’s coming along..? 🙂

    Big blue

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by Big blue.
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