Time is the only true healer. You’ll cry, you’ll hurt, you’ll get frustrated, you’ll get angry, you’ll feel alone, and everything in between until such a time as you can find acceptance in the end of the relationship and recognize the impermanence of all relationships.

From the sounds of it, you were dependent on your boyfriend; he was your “Knight in shining armor” that was going to save you from your family situation. There’s only one person that you can rely in the world and that is yourself. The moment that you feel like you need someone to “take you away from all this”, it marks the beginning of the end. That’s not to say you can’t love someone, look to someone for support, friendship, affection, and love, but the moment you feel like you’re relying on them could mean that you yourself have not found the ground and stability on which to build a healthy relationship.

Use this time wisely. Find a way of ensuring that your family’s issues or problems do not become yours – be supportive and present, but not entangled in the drama. Reconnect with yourself and build your foundation. If you were to be alone for the rest of your life, what would you need to survive?

Only when you yourself are strong, confident, and stable, will you then attract strong, confident, and stable partners.

Hi,

It is always shattering when a relationship one invests so much into ends abruptly. No doubt you must be going through a really tough time. As others have opined , time is the best healer and howmuchever difficult it may sound right now, know that you will get over it.

SO FIRST AND FORMOST ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE ENORMOUSLY HURT AND THIS IS VERY NATURAL….BUT YOU WILL SURELY GET OVER IT.Have that assurance.

Next big question is when? This will vary from person to person, but professional help from a cousellor and sharing your feelings with friends and well wishers can expedite the process. If you will try to deal with it alone, you may take much longer. So the idea of sharing it on a forum like this is a brilliant idea. Keep us posted on how you are progressing, what thoughts you are going through and we all will be there to support you, listen to you.

SO SECOND, DON’T DEAL WITH A TOUGH SITUATION ALONE…HAVE PEOPLE YOU SHARE YOUR JOURNEY WITH IN ANY TOUGH TIME. IT HELPS ENORMOUSLY.
SO SHARE SHARE AND SHARE….

In the meanwhile pamper yourself….do whatever you like to do…may it be watching a movie…or going for a walk…or …just anything. Have a routine….and stick to it like a robot…even if you don’t feel like. …Get up at x hrs….going to work at y hrs e.tc. In hours of crisis like this to live by a routine also gives a sense of direction and purpose.

SO THIRD…PAMPER YOURSELF AND ENSURE THAT YOU DONT IGNORE THE ROUTINE YOU MAKE FOR YOURSELF.

Take Care,

much love…..ritu

What he’s doing is very hurtful! But don’t fall into the trap of thinking “what could I do better to make him change?” You can’t change another person’s feelings and actions, only your own. Be better to yourself! Do the things you love and have fun with family and friends who are close to you. The last time I went through a painful breakup, I decided the best thing to do was pamper and take care of myself, so I took a one week vacation with my best friend to Mexico!